Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT P3 H2O
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 8 | Aired on 12.08.1999
Outside Mrs. J's cabin. Prue pulls up in Piper's SUV. She gets out. Now she's wearing a white wife-beater. As die-hard fans of Prue hope that this isn't the show where she ends up dead, I whisper my silent prayer that this isn't the show where she ends up drenched. Mrs. J and the docile Ps come out to greet her. Mrs. J goes on about how much Prue looks like her mother. Prue gives Mrs. J the stink eye and snaps that Piper's the one that resembles Patty the most. Prue's rudeness causes an awkward silence to fall. Mrs. J tells the Halliwell sisters goodbye, and adds her wish that they'll come visit again. Prue just looks at the ground. Rude much? Then we cut to a POV shot with the camera in the middle of the lake getting water all over the lens, implying something stalking the Halliwells on the shore.
The docile Ps fill Prue in that Mrs. J has decided not to re-open the camp the next day, and that they know where Grizzly lives. Prue's cell phone rings. It's Jack with more attempted badinage. The writers have him call Prue "[his] favorite auction-ette" and Prue weakly lobs back a reference to Jack as an "auction-ass." Witty, huh? Perhaps "auction-nerd" would have been more apt, but what do I know? Jack thinks Prue's insult is "a nice one." He lets Prue know that he's taking lunch with one of Prue's clients, Mr. Fujimoto. She gets her bitch on and hangs up. Next! The docile Ps then justifiably get their bitches on about Prue's shoddy treatment of Mrs. J. Prue whines that comparisons of her to her mother are "terrifying" because she and Patty have so much in common: "No success with guys, being responsible for a family, [and] the possibility of dying young because of this 'charmed' thing." Whatever! (And note how Rules-Girl Prue is always measuring her happiness in relation to whether she has a boyfriend.) Anyway, the docile Ps think all of that is mere coincidence and Prue shouldn't fear ending up with Patty's fate. She doesn't believe them, and snits off (tm amorgan. Hey, amorgan! Come back soon!) to check out Grizzly's cabin. The docile Ps (natch) follow. Grizzly watches them from the bushes.
Cut to Mrs. J on her dock, tying up a boat. Water churns beside the dock and suddenly the CGI water demon, i.e. the Not! Ness Monster, jumps out and drags Mrs. J into the lake. She tries to scream, but the skin around her mouth has been surgically stretched tighter than the F/X budget of this show. We see more splashing and thrashing, then a sad, very un-subtle shot of the "WELCOME CAMPERS" banner that fell into the water with Mrs. J. An anvil floats next to it.