Episode Report Card Al Lowe: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Mommies Dearest
By Al Lowe | Season 7 | Episode 2 | Aired on 10.02.2006
How Luke keeps from shooting T.J. with a nail gun, I don't know. Especially when T.J. announces that he's grateful for the opportunity to be out of the house, since "being pregnant makes Liz incredibly horny." Horny for T.J.? I'm trying to imagine a world in which this would be chemically possible. And now I'm considering shooting myself with a nail gun. And now I'm making a silent joke in my mind about getting nailed. And, scene. Luke asks if perhaps they could stop discussing his sister's sexuality, and so T.J. decides to...keep talking about it, and just for kicks, discuss Lorelai's as well. He recommends that Luke consider knocking up Lorelai to get those hormones going. "I got a feeling pregnancy would make Lorelai particularly randy," he says, causing Luke to have to escape. "You know what? I think I'm gonna go get that primer," he says, desperate. "I'm just worried about the hardware store running out, because, you know, it's the primer season."
In the gazebo, Lane sits Rory down to tell her that she knows. She's in on the conspiracy. Sex, she has finally come to discover, sucks. "Oh, no," Rory says, genuinely concerned. "Sex was bad?" Lane tells her to drop the act -- she's known about Santa Claus for years, and now she knows the truth about sex, as well: "You know what's funny? I really thought my mother was an insane prude when she said sex was bad for women, but now I see that, in fact, my mother was the only woman who wasn't willing to maintain this ridiculous, pervasive, media-supported charade." Rory asks which charade Lane's talking about. "That sex is normal," Lane laughs. "That sex is a wonderful part of life. That sex is...sexy. I mean, can we just not admit it, sex is not sexy." Rory says that sex does not, in fact, have to be horrible, but Lane is on a roll. She says that it speaks to the potential power of women that this lie could have been perpetuated for so long, throughout history. Rory is sad: "So, sex with Zach was bad?" (Can I remind you here that I was watching this with my in-laws? Yes. Thanks. Can you say "sex" a few more times, please?) Lane says that the sex with Zach was, in fact, unbelievably bad. Rory asks if it was bad every time. Lane openly scoffs and cringes: "Yeah, right, 'every time.'" She shudders, and Rory realizes that she only tried it once. "That's right," Lane says, "and I'm out." Rory assures Lane that the first time can often be weird -- that her own first time had its weird aspects (like, say, that she was doing it WITH A MARRIED GUY), but that it does get much better. Lane rolls her eyes: "Umm...sorry. I just don't believe you."