Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Killing Kimmie Kegan
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 6 | Aired on 10.30.2008
Shizuki from Fashion Buzz arrives to interview them about the photo shoot coup and Daniel introduces him to Betty, which Shizuki loves because it's all "little person does good" and wants to interview her, as soon as they put her regrettable ass in a makeup chair. Later on, Betty's doing a perfectly fine job of putting on her makeup and looks pretty cute, but Kimmie bullies her into letting her put false eyelashes on Betty's face, which is already busier than a Wall Street boiler room on a good day, and then nice/bullies her into practicing her interview soundbites, which she of course memorizes because she's like a robot from the future of plot devices.
Betty runs off to tell her stupid family about the interview and Kimmie flirts with a grip so he'll turn the lights up to a bajillion and it's some kind of metaphor for sex. Meanwhile, Hilda's hanging up American crap all over the house because she doesn't Get It Yet, and tells Ignacio that he needs to put together an outfit for tomorrow so nobody sees him in his Crazy Old Man Pajamas, which made me laugh, and then they haul out Justin in his stupid puffy polyester Uncle Sam suit. He looks like a parade float. Ignacio, of course, thinks he looks great, because he has no discernment.
The Shizuki interview goes horribly, because while the fruit and the issue are sizzling hot, when you go on TV you really shouldn't be. Betty tries to keep it together while reeling off her totally boring Adriana Lima information, but she's sweating like a pig and sort of hallucinating and then one eyelash sort of crawls off her eyeball and down her face, and she finally runs away just as Shizuki's asking her if tico berries would be good in a Ticotini, and she is fashion roadkill, and Shizuki is like, "Oh, hell." But then Kimmie sits down and delivers all of Betty's soundbites looking, if I may, sizzling hot, and pimps herself to the camera for awhile, and Betty is freaking out some more, and then Wili and Daniel explain that they just remembered Betty sucks, so she will now be working with Kimmie on the shoot. Betty calls Kimmie out on being a betraying saboteuse, and Kimmie's like, "No. You don't have the face or the pores for TV, I don't care about you or winning anything, I just want to be in the spotlight and you are making that difficult because you are a freak, and in two days that shoot is happening either way, but I'm betting you're going to drive yourself right out of this job by then."