Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Wilden Out
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 01.29.2013
Hanna: "I smell like gin, the worst of all liquor smells besides champagne. Just give a girl a sec."
Ashley: "Who am I to judge you for drinking? I'm more interested in the lesbian part."
Hanna: "I didn't go there for lesbians, I went there for Caleb. Who is not a lesbian, appearances aside."
Ashley: "Gross! Is he one of those 'this is what a feminist looks like' guys with a bunch of lesbian friends? Hanna, those guys are the worst, I won't have you spending time with a guy like that. At least not until you take a Women's Studies class in college and realize how ubiquitous they are."
Hanna: "I'll be honest, it would not surprise me. But this isn't about that, it's about what we were talking about while you were getting wasted this morning. Paige and Caleb have a secret team to get Mona, which as I told you freaks me out, so I followed Paige, and..."
Ashley: "Got it. Lesbian bar. When are you going to quit with these solo missions? And how did that end with you drinking and starting barfights?"
Hanna: "I merely accepted a friendly gift from a girl who thought I liked pink drinks, and then danced with her so Paige wouldn't see me."
Ashley, ver-goddamn-batim: "What's a 'pinkdrink'? Is that code for something gay?"
Hanna: "No, it's code for a drink which is pink. I don't have time to explain femmes to you! I really need a shower, Mom!"
Ashley: "I feel like you're hiding something..."
Hanna: "No, I'm really not doing anything weird or hiding anything. I didn't mean to get arrested or anything, I just want to protect Emily..."
Ashley: "So there is something going on!"
Hanna: "No, I just think Paige is cheating on her."
Ashley: "A word of advice? Stay out of it. Clearly whatever your idea of helping is, it involves all manner of nonsense I don't have time for. And you're gonna want to hot-oil that mess. Beach-hair + pink gin = a combination I know all too well."
FITZWALLACE FITZWILLIAMS
Aria: "Why are you packing up your car? I was sure that this would all blow over."
Ezra: "You're fine. Maggie told me she jerked you around and we both agreed you're too young and stupid to be held accountable for your own actions."
Aria: "Then do you want to watch a movie or something?"
Ezra: "No, I'm leaving Rosewood for a while. I get to meet my son and do other grownup stuff I haven't heretofore been able to do, because I've been busy living a life of suspicion and teen girl squad problems."