Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Wilden Out
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 01.29.2013
BATHROOM
Emily: "Oh hey Spencer, I had a feeling I'd find you in here weeping and looking ratchet as hell. Not gonna ask about it, though."
Spencer: "Great. Now what's this about a Bio notebook?"
Emily: "It's very exciting. A person we don't know talking to Ali about a person we don't know, who was a Beach Hottie. Was Ian ever a lifeguard?"
Spencer: "I don't know. Ask Melissa. I gotta go be desperate somewhere."
Emily: "But Spencer, how are we supposed to crack this banal conversation? It could be the key to a mystery!"
Spencer: "The mystery of what boys Alison was sleeping with? I have the solution to that one, and it is most boys."
Emily: "She was scared to tell this person something!"
Spencer: "[Says almost verbatim what I just said about Ali being a slut.]"
Spencer's point is that fuck Alison, she has only ever brought them misery and no amount of getting themselves blown up and abducted and tortured is going to bring her back, much less make her a better person than she was. In the final analysis, she was a wretched girl who came to a wretched end, and looking for more to that story has only continued to wreck things. Hastings out.
Emily: "-- Not so fast. How about this little nugget here, where she visited Toby in juvie? Is that relevant enough? Because we didn't know that at all."
FLASHBACK
Ha! Oh boy. So what was going on with Toby in those days was that he was sporting a do-rag. Sweat pants, shirt unbuttoned -- even in the past, bread was still buttered on the same side -- and one of those industrial-strength nylon do-rags that has a tail coming out the back, like he's on The Wire. Of all the amazing things this show is constantly unveiling, I must say that "Toby in a do-rag" is near the top of the list.
Alison: "Are you the one sending me this notes from the person called 'A'? Because I know it wasn't your sister, she was in surgery for some of them."
Toby: "Oh yeah? How'd that turn out?"
Alison: "She's still brushing her hair with an electric toothbrush."
Toby: "Ableism."
Alison: "What I don't get is, why are you focusing on me? All five of us blew up your sister. All five of us put you in here."
Toby: "The things I would like to happen to you, they do not involve receiving scary notes from your own ghost. They are much more intense than that."