Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 5 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Wilden Out
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 17 | Aired on 01.29.2013
CECE DRAKE!
CeCe: "I totally remember this Cape May trip! It was so fun. But I have no idea who 'Beach Hottie' is, like, that Beach was full of Hotties. She was cagey about him, so I figured he was cheating."
Emily: "So would Jason know this guy?"
CeCe: "If Jason knew some Beach Hottie was hitting on his sister, he would have taken care of it."
CRABSHACK FLASHBACK
CeCe: "It is so fun hanging out and getting drunk at this crab shack with townies! Let's call Jason DiLaurentis, I've heard he smokes marijuana."
Townies: "We too have heard that."
She spotted Ali, looking pretty broken, and ran outside to see what was up.
Alison: "Beach Hottie has gotten me pregnant. I am losing my mind!"
CeCe: "Update me on your menses. Have you ever been this late before?"
Alison: "Two weeks? Never! I haven't even been menstruating for all that long, so I'm very clear about what has and has not happened. Also, I fucked him without a condom, so."
CeCe: "First thing we're gonna do is tell him, and see what he does. Then we might blackmail him."
Alison: "No way. If I tell him, he will murder me! Probably in my own yard, on Labor Day!"
SO WAIT
Emily: "So wait, Ali was pregnant? I feel like this possibility has come up before, this season, but I can't remember in what context."
CeCe: "You know how I'm always saying it was an intense couple weeks? This is the kind of shit we were up to."
Ten bucks says it's Wilden. He's older and dissolute, like CeCe and Ali like; he's hot as hell; he just admitted he's bendy about killing in self-defense, and he's always been way too invested in the Liars and Ali's disappearance.
LESBIAN BAR
Aria, at home: "You're go for Aria. Apparently I just don't leave the house anymore. Maybe I still have the flu. Maybe I'm still high."
Hanna: "I forgot to tell you this earlier because of Ezra flipping out on you, but I found out that Caleb and Paige are working together to bring Mona down."
Aria: "Like that just slipped your mind? Those fools'll get murdered!"
Hanna: "I know, that's why I'm on this solo mission to stop them. I figured I'd start at a lesbian bar. Maybe there will be a bar fight, that would be amazing. Lesbians just flying every which way."
Aria: "If I hadn't had such a fucked-up day I probably would give a little more thought to what you're doing, but on the other hand who am I kidding? Have fun."