Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Giving Is Taking
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 04.21.2013
ONLY REVOLUTIONS
Fran Kranz counts on his fingers and says that of 60 coders total, they're half and half with two swing votes. If these two random coders don't both come over, no dice: Tie goes to management. So Alicia and Cary tell them, in no uncertain terms, to start pressuring the swing votes, and Alicia goes off to the admins.
Alicia: "Hey, you guys! It's so nice how we're all on a team together?"
Admins: "It's not so nice how we get paid ten percent less than staff at other Chicago firms of our size, though."
Alicia: "For real? I wish that was not true. This just keeps sucking more and more. And even if I left, I couldn't escape being management. I would be a name partner, which seems to have driven Will and Diane insane this year; it would be worse. I may have fallen prey to the Peter Principle."
David Lee: "I am here to shit on everything and be awful, okay?"
The next concern is about how every absence and hour of leave comes into their performance evaluations, which also does sound draconian. I don't know, I'm so used to rooting for L/G that I'm kinda glad we're getting to see, via Alicia, how any old company can easily also be bullshit. David Lee whips them into an immediate frenzy using just his shitty personality, and Alicia has to raise her voice. I know!
Alicia: "We're not talking about solutions today, we're hearing concerns."
David Lee: "Fuck that, let's get our top concerns on the table. I'll go first..."
Margie: "Seven percent pay bump, which is still below the other firms. Number two, three years to vest in a retirement plan instead of five..."
David Lee: "Why don't you go to one of these awesome firms, then, and fuck right off?"
Lorna: "Did you seriously just threaten to fire Margie? Who has been your assistant for eleven years?"
David Lee: "I am David Lee. You don't have a word for how awful I am."
A riot, just like David Lee wanted, erupts. He gets them to threaten a strike, then a union to do the strike, and just when you think it can't get worse, it gets kind of beautiful because he's so over the line he's yelling shit like, "How you gonna form a union when you can't even fucking get my lunch order right" and it's the most amazing shitshow, and honestly if Alicia weren't in there feeling defeated and sensitive about it, it would probably be the best thing that ever happened. At the very least, punches could be thrown.
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