Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 7 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Giving Is Taking
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 21 | Aired on 04.21.2013
Peter: "Actually that was incorrect and now I have to find a way to point out that Kresteva is, in addition to being the worst person imaginable, also sexist."
Alicia: "I got twenty kids fired. Including a grieving widow, and Fran Kranz."
Peter: "I just coincidentally reproduced our first date and now I want to ask you to take a trip with me to Hawaii after the election so we can renew our vows."
Alicia: "Nope."
Peter: "Will you consider it?"
Alicia: "Uh, will you consider not fucking whores?"
Peter: "I can try."
Alicia: "Then I can 'try' to consider it."
But because it's Alicia, you know she actually will, because it's the polite thing to do. I don't really have a horse in this race, honestly. He does seem to have taken an awful lot of steps to redeem himself, and at this point Will's just something she's using to hurt herself, which sucks, so whatever. Vow renewals are the grossest thing to me anyway, they always seem like the saddest desperate move, like if the couple is too old to have a kid to save the marriage and fuck up that kid to save the marriage -- or go to fake couples therapy for the resentment abscess-bursting and trying to get the guy to pick a side -- they just go to Hawaii, every time. And then a year later, you get divorced anyway but at least Hawaii was fun.
There's course-correction and then there's "How did this boat end up in Arizona, a landlocked state? I don't know the answer, but I'm pretty sure it isn't dedication and sincere effort." Me, I think you should renew your contract every year. Keeps you honest. I don't understand making promises you can't keep, or don't feel like keeping, because then what is your word worth? Why even stay married, if you're going to fuck around? If you want to be with me, be with me. If you don't, don't. And if you don't know who you're going to be in five years, what is wrong with you.
But I guess this is a special case, because they would actually be getting married, like in the traditional sense, at this point. I still say don't do it. Not after just a few weeks of bootycalls.
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So now everybody is upset because they got fired, which is a story with two sides, but Cary and Alicia have figured out an angle: Just say you were trying to form a union. Not that they were, or ever talked about it, but what if they had?
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