Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 11 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT All Things Truly Wicked
By Jacob Clifton | Season 3 | Episode 24 | Aired on 03.19.2013
A stands directly outside her house where even a blind girl could see her, texting a time and place. It's amazing. She runs to the door after receiving the text, but there's nobody there, just awkwardly standing on the porch and texting her in an all-black costume, like there was a second ago.
In other news, this two-hour freakshow event (and yes, I will be watching the shit out of Twisted, thanks for asking -- although, did you really need to ask?) will be quote "Catered by Taco Bell." So if you were wondering where that strangely urgent feeling and panicked cries for help were coming from, it's not Jenna Thing's house, nor Ezra's broken pervy heart, nor even from the blazing housefire to come, no: The call is coming from your bowels.
MONTGOMERY
Byron: "Uh, your pedo boyfriend cannot be teaching in this school district. We have standards suddenly."
Aria: "First of all, hello Meredith? Second of all, we broke up. Third and most importantly, he like just told me he didn't get the job."
Byron: "Then he lied to your face, because he got it before he ever told you that."
THE BREW: JOB INTERVIEW
Hanna: "Let's not tell Aria about this. It's good to have secrets with grownups, and your friends' exes."
Ezra: "Cool. I am cool with all of that."
Hanna: "So what's Malcolm into? Fast cars, fast women?"
Ezra: "Uh..."
Hanna: "Oh my God, I'm not gonna molest him. It was a joke? About you?"
Ezra: "He's... Into trains. That's what he thinks about, that's what he talks about, that's what he draws and plays with and dreams about. He's not what you'd call neurotypical. Trains."
Hanna: "My boyfriend and mother are gone, and I always need lasagna money..."
Ezra: "That's all I needed to hear."
THE WOODS (NEAR THORNHILL LANDING STRIP?)
Jenna Thing: "I missed you, Person! Party's on Friday, you know what you need to do."
Person: "Cool, how are your eyeballs?"
Jenna Thing: "I will eventually be blind again."
Person, who is Shana: "Well, good thing we're dating. I'd hate you to feel sad or creepy like you always, always are."
I can't even question that. I don't know about you, but it's like... You know that myriad of numbers that you see floating over everybody's head all the time? The one for "dates a chick" hanging over Jenna Thing's head was always at, um, critical levels. I mean, hashtag let's talk about it, but yeah. This is more about complicating the event and storylines surrounding everything because it's the Finale, not about blowing your mind with Jenna's love life, because I don't know that it would be possible to do that at this point. I can't think of anybody that would surprise me, actually. Some girls are like that.