Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Putting the "Dent" in "President"
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.03.2005
It's Kiefer on the other end, and in the last fifty seconds he's gone from standing around in a blowed-up warehouse packed with fully-armored CTU tactical agents to driving along in a CTUmobile that comes fully equipped with a random, plain-clothed, soon-to-be-dead dude in the shotgun seat. Kiefer explains to NotMandy (who he of course doesn't realize is also NotAgentDrake) that he's investigating Poor Man's Eric Stoltz's connection to ImhoTerror. He'll meet her at PMES's apartment in about ten minutes. "I'll be here," NotMandy sex-voices, and hangs up. It's 10:23:32.
10:27:54. Keeler's still up in the air, ImhoTerror's still out in the cold, Poor Man's Eric Stoltz is also up in the air, and Lispy Skip is not. ImhoTerror's hiding in an alcove outside a building somewhere as a dark-colored van pulls into the alley and flashes its headlights. ImhoTerror scampers out and jumps into the back of the van. Nice perimeter, CTU. Maybe next time you should all hold hands. As the van drives off, ImhoTerror makes a phone call: "We had a slight delay. I'm heading over there now." The man at the other end asks about Poor Man's Eric Stoltz, and ImhoTerror says that he's "in the air," on his way to the "target."
I surely don't know what this "target" might be, but on board Air Force One, Keeler is pretty unimpressed with the speech he's been handed. "This is one of the most traumatic days in the history of our country," he bitches. "What I want is a speech that's equal to the occasion." Keeler shoos his flunkies away, and asks them to send his son in. "Well, then, we'll have to land," none of them says, because it turns out that Spawn of POTUS is already on the plane. As Keeler gazes though a set of venetian blinds that must look out into a corridor or something, his son comes into the conference room, looking wholesome and twenty-something and all-American (read: bland) in his light-blue dress shirt and khakis. "Well," Keeler says ironically, "a quick trip to Mexico, a low-key state visit, and we finally have some time to spend together." I'd really like to see the flight plan this plane has been following. If we hadn't been seeing exterior shots of the plane, I'd assume it's been taxiing back to the States. The First Preppie says it's okay: "The press corps has been keeping me entertained." Sure, today they "entertain" you, tomorrow they're reporting gleefully about your arrest at Chuy's on Sixth Street in Austin for having a fake ID. Not that I followed that story at all. Keeler exposits that he's a widower. Hey, just like Andrew Shepherd. Oh, and Palmer, now that I think about it. Ah, good times. Keeler asks for his son's help with his speech that he'll be delivering "in about an hour." Just in time, I suppose, for the 11:00 news in Alaska. Keeler sucks up to his kid, then asks what he wants to hear the President say. "The truth," the First Preppie chirps. Keeler gets up to walk across the room and goes back to staring through the blinds. He begins, "We've been attacked by terrorists. Americans are dead. The man responsible is still at large, and we are by no means certain we can catch him before he strikes again. What happened earlier may be nothing compared to what happens next." He asks if he should say that. "I don't know," waffles the First Preppie. Keeler doesn't know either, but he has to say something. "You want me to help you figure it out?" his son asks. "Absolutely," Keeler nods with a smile. He hands the First Preppie the printout of the speech. Shut up, Keelers. Bond on your own time.
It's 10:31:40, and Kiefer and the Handsome Bald Agent he's commandeered have just arrived at Poor Man's Eric Stoltz's apartment building. Kiefer knocks on the door, which is still ajar, calling, "Agent Drake?" He and his Handsome, Bald, Not Black But Totally Doomed Anyway partner move into the apartment, guns drawn. There's a moment of sneaking around, and then NotMandy is there, pointing a gun at them through a cutaway in an interior wall. He yells at her to drop it. She asks if he's Kiefer, then demands to see his ID. "I don't have identification," he says. "I'm working with CTU on a provisional basis." Um, you were waving it around a few hours ago. Maybe ImhoTerror took it away. Handsome Bald Agent shows his own ID, saying Kiefer's with him. NotMandy holsters her gun. Actually, it's Agent Drake's service weapon. She's also wearing Agent Drake's suit now, which, lucky for her, is made of a dark material that doesn't show bullet holes and yet also prevents telltale blood from spilling onto the carpet. No idea where she stashed the body, but it doesn't matter. She tells Kiefer that the FBI intercepted a call saying that Poor Man's Eric Stoltz is in possession of computer files that could indicate ImhoTerror's next target. The dialogue sounds kind of unconvincing in sex-voice, but Kiefer doesn't notice. He wants to know the source of the call, but NotMandy says they're still waiting for details. Kiefer looks around at the ransacked apartment and asks if she found it that way. NotMandy says she was looking for a backup copy of the files she just mentioned. Kiefer looks at her for a minute, wondering when the FBI got so sloppy, and then offers to help her look.