Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Putting the "Dent" in "President"
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 16 | Aired on 04.03.2005
Upstairs, Kiefer notices how quiet it's suddenly gotten down there, and he draws his own gun. He steals a peek downstairs and spots his Handsome Bald Dead Partner, then ducks back into hiding. NotMandy is making her way to the bottom of the stairs while the music is going all wind-caves on us. He breaks cover and yells at her, "Drop the weapon!" Instead, she fires at him twice, but misses. He returns fire, and she takes "cover" behind a column. Sadly, it's shitty cover, because Kiefer puts four rounds right through the drywall and she sinks to the floor. Next time, NotMandy, perhaps you should remember to hide behind things that actually stop bullets. The only thing that would be better is if Kiefer's shots shattered the column entirely, and the body of Agent Drake in NotMandy's clothes fell to the floor from where NotMandy walled her up in under ten minutes.
Kiefer recovers the hard drive from NotMandy's body, then plugs it into Handsome Dead Agent's laptop and fires it up. Kiefer doesn't bother with the AC adaptor, of course. It boots instantly, but all he gets is a list of files flagged "LOCKED." It's 10:46:47. He gets out his cell phone to call Lispy Skip. He tells Skip what just happened, and that CTU needs to send more guys and start a full investigation of Poor Man's Eric Stoltz. Skip offers to let Kiefer tell that to the bosses himself, but first Kiefer needs help getting into these locked files. Skip, apparently using some manufacturer-installed backdoor whose specifics he knows from memory, walks Kiefer through the procedures to open the files on the drive. Multiple images of a stealth fighter start spawning on the screen in front of Kiefer, one on top of the other. "Oh, my God," he breathes. He tells Lispy Skip he needs to talk to Bitchelle or Soul Patch now. Skip obligingly flags down Bitchelle, who puts him on speaker. Kiefer tells her, Soul Patch, and Buchanan, "I believe Poor Man's Eric Stoltz is trying to steal a stealth fighter." Way to keep up, Kiefer. I liked it better when we didn't know what the bad guys were planning before he did. It's 10:48:23.
10:52:52. Bitchelle is hovering over some CTU flunky; Kiefer is back on the road (apparently having left Poor Man's Eric Stoltz's apartment unsecured, unless more backup agents arrived within four minutes); stealth bomber images are still popping up; and Poor Man's Eric Stoltz is still flying the real thing. Kiefer calls CTU to say he's on his way in and asks whether there's any info from the Air Force. Soul Patch says that a stealth fighter did indeed take off on a scheduled mission forty minutes ago (although he doesn't say from which base). The pilot did not call in on schedule like he was supposed to, and all attempts to contact him have failed. Bitchelle's there as well by this point. Kiefer says they have to assume that Poor Man's Eric Stoltz is the stick man, and they need to come up with a list of possible targets. Soul Patch is already starting on it when Bitchelle says, "Wait. Air Force One is on its way to L.A." Kiefer has Soul Patch check the ETA: "11:00 PM." Which should mean it's on final descent now, right? But Kiefer says, "Oh, my God. They're going after the president." "I'll call Air Force One," says Bitchelle, and scampers off. Kiefer tells Soul Patch to get him the recall frequency for the stealth fighter's squadron, and to send PMES's bio to Kiefer's screen. And that Buchanan needs to notify the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "And tell Grayadder I love him."