Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Meeeooow! (Fffft!)
By Couch Baron | Season 3 | Episode 1 | Aired on 07.13.1999
Diane goes to retrieve Schillinger, telling him that Glynn and McManus want to see him. She tells him about Keller's confession, like, nice to give him time to work out an alibi in his head, honey. Shouldn't that be part of C.O. training or something, or do they just assume common sense? Schillinger doesn't believe that Keller ratted him out, which is tantamount to admitting his guilt, but Diane says he did. Schillinger says that if he really did, he's dead, like, nice thing to say to a hack, but she informs him that Keller's in protective custody. And now that we've wrapped up another scene that was entirely for the audience's benefit, let's move on to...
...Hill telling us that truth is a powerful thing. Montage of Keller in protective custody, Schillinger getting put in the Hole, Metzger lying in a pool of blood, and Beecher clipping his bloody fingernails into the toilet. "It can right a wrong, or make a bad thing worse. But in Oz, the truth is, if the facts don't fit the truth, fuck the facts." Thank you for making the last monologue I recap not suck. Really.
Mineo calls lights out, presumably as the new Head Hack in Em City. The lights go out, and I am done. It's been fun, everyone. Now that I've been released, I think I'll go to a town called Everwood -- someone told me it was pretty once. And if I'm dead, I can hang out with Sue Ellen Mishkie. Later.