Episode Report Card Djb: C+ | 1 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Something Borrowed, Something Prue
By Djb | Season 3 | Episode 13 | Aired on 02.07.2001
At a lovely, verdant, outdoor eating establishment which is either very, very well-known to the long-time viewer of Charmed or not known to him or her in the slightest, Justin slides in and spots the one-woman plaid parade of Prue waiting at a nearby table. He whispers something to a passing waiter so brief that he couldn't have gotten in anything longer than, "You bored too?" before moving on to meet his date. He kisses her hand. Doe-eyed gazing. For a while. Was it that she noticed something different in Justin's eyes, or she got disoriented by the glare of the inordinately-sized choppers? It's difficult to know for sure. "Justin" (Nudge! Wink!) apologizes for being late and for the dire broken-down state of the Midlife Crisismobile, bantering, "I really should sell that old thing, but I don't know. I kind of like having something not so predictable in this day and age. Know what I mean?" Prue asks -- with a really patronizing amount of genuine surprise in her voice -- if he really doesn't think of himself as predictable. And, on cue (which is the first inadvertent compliment I'll toss in the general direction of pacing), a waiter approaches the table with a bottle of wine and announces, "Berenger, private reserve." Ooooh. Wine. He fields her question, "Predictable? Hardly." And, as if to prove that he is the most base form of evil that exists in this universe and any others you may know of, his voice takes on a slightly British tinge. "Hahdly." Uh-oh. Shorthand for evil. Pass the wine, Choppers. I don't think you're predictable. I don't even really know who you are at all.
This upcoming turning point has practiced turning so many times it's about to fall down and go boom. Phoebe returns to the manor, finding the real Justin standing on the doorstep, waiting for Prue. It's really him, too. No accent. Hahdly an accent, anyway. Pheebs lets him in, and Piper shows up just in time to supply the salient high-drama detail that Prue is already with Justin at the restaurant, and, in fact, he did not call earlier to tell her that his car broke down and to meet him there. "No." Curious glances are exchanged. The Quirky Chord Of Dawning Plot Development chimes.
And it's about damn time. You are all aware that this episode is, like, half over and stuff, right?
Back at the restaurant with Prue and evil doppelganger Jolly Ol' Justin, more wine is poured, which Prue refuses because she has to work. But emboldened Choppers won't hear her protests: "So your photographs are a little fuzzy. Call it avant-garde." British! French! Look at all his extra…savoir-faire! He's got savoir-faire to spare! Anyway. Prue's cell phone rings just then, and Jolly Ol' Justin puts a hand over it as Prue takes it out of her bag and asks, "How important can it be?" Isn't she one of three sisters whose mystical witch powers work together to, like, save the world and stuff? Couldn't it be, like, kinda important? She doesn't answer it. My. That was dispensed with easily enough. He leans in: "Last night when we kissed goodbye, it was, y'know, not great. How 'bout we try it again and see if we can't do it a little better?" Pause. Pause. Pause. "C'mon, what's the worst that can happen?" Besides the Plot Contrivance Air Siren sounding so furiously loud that it permanently ruptures the hearing canal of a significant portion of this show's formative viewing audience? Yeah. Besides that, I guess. He leans in. That worst that can happen happens, as their lip-lock lands her back at Tribal Council and she notices, "I can't move." Dantalian steps off her altar and approaches the couple as Ye Olde Justin morphs back into Receding Hairline Baddy. Dantalian thinks it's time for a dramatic high point: "It's true. Every bride is beautiful on her wedding day." Not scary enough, Dantalian. Needs more British.