Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT 100 Light Years From Home
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.16.2002
"Kill me now," Audrey moans, taking the words right out of my mouth. Joey sanctimoniously informs her roommate that lying never improves a situation. Which is, in itself, a lie. Telling someone that their new expensive skirt makes them look fat and hideous? Not a good idea. Lying and saying that it looks lovely? Improves the situation. "Listen, Mother Theresa," Audrey snarks, "why don't you go take a smoke break and bring back my good friend Joey?" Joey smiles wryly and hugs Audrey, telling her that "everything will be okay." Audrey sighs that she has to go throw up. Then she runs off, leaving Joey alone to answer her ever-persistent cell phone. Charlie, natch. Still stalking her. In fact, he's stalked her all the way to the side of Audrey's parents' pool. Joey looks vaguely horrified when she turns to see him standing beside her, still yakking to her on the phone. "Call you right back," he simpers. Joey just stares. Now that Charlie's sunk to the level of the Vaguely Criminal, Joey, maybe you ought to try a rousing rendition of "Rainy Days and Mondays," and see if he drops dead.
Product Placement Party, featuring "M2M," a band I am convinced MTV and the WB brewed up in a laboratory somewhere for use in this scene and this scene alone, because I've never heard of them and, believe you me, I know my crappy bubblegum pop. An M hits on Pacey very poorly (perhaps because she memorized her line phonetically because she doesn't really speak English? I don't know), he rejects her, she sings. Really, that's it.
Singing. Singing. Singing. There has been so much singing on this show lately, I don't understand why The Powers That Be don't just do a musical episode and get it over with. I'd pay good money to see Dawson crooning "Dude Looks Like a Lady."
PPP. Joey out and out calls Charlie a stalker. "I prefer to think of myself as doggedly persistent," he grins. Joey makes a face, and wonders how, exactly, he found her. Charlie smarms that he's real glad she asked.
Singing. Josh Hart-not. Audrey. He wants to get back together with her. She's all awkward and aggro, but doesn't exactly turn him down. Instead, she runs off. "You stay, and you dance to the pretty Norwegians, and I'll be right back," she says, before racing away and right into Pacey, who looks concerned. Audrey just stares at him and keeps on going. Josh gives Pacey an appraising look. Pacey's just confused.
Meanwhile, Charlie explains to Joey how, exactly, he tracked her down. He spins a long and elaborate story about calling Audrey's parents and posing as her lab partner, but finally confesses that he just called Pacey and asked. "After the road trip from hell?" Joey asks. She's a little impressed. And then she leaves him, saying that, as flattered as she is by the whole stalking thing, "it doesn't mean [she's] going to hang out with [him]." And then she leaves, cracking up to herself.