Episode Report Card Jessica: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT 100 Light Years From Home
By Jessica | Season 5 | Episode 19 | Aired on 04.16.2002
Further Flashbacks of Pain: Rain. Ladders. Crying. Flaring. Gagging. Blah blah blah, Dawson's superior storytelling skills have convinced Pander that it's a good idea for them to blow off their meeting with the big fancy Hollywood agent and instead drive down to Florida and continue torturing Joey. "The story, the way you told it, it sounds like the sun rises and sets with this girl," Pander says. "It does," Dawson admits. "So, why don't you hang your balls out there and say that," Pander tells him. Oh my God, Dawson's balls! The horror! The HORROR! Dawson smarms that he doesn't "have the right," because he "pushed her away and she moved on." Pander repeats that Dawson has to have this conversation with Joey, or nothing will ever happen for them. Yes, praise God. "Meetings come and go, but this? This is how you achieve true greatness, my friend," Pander says. Dawson cackles. "Which way to Florida?" he asks. Oh God. Are you ready to revisit the Saga of Dawson and Joey? Because I am so, so not.
Montage time! This episode is so full of filler. Charlie teaches Joey to surf. Dawson drives. Jen coughs. Jack drinks. Pacey and Audrey avoid each other. Your recapper cries.
Jen and Jack finally meet on the porch. He's indulging in the hair of the dog that bit him, and she's sick with a head cold and also acting totally holier than thou. Basically, she thinks he's drinking too much. I think she's wearing too much eye shadow for someone with a head cold. "Don't turn this into a PSA on the perils of underage drinking," Jack groans. Jen shrugs that it just seems as though he's drinking to forget, and that if he wants to talk, well, she's there for him. Jack looks pissy and stomps off.
Welcome to this week's anemic catfight! In one corner, we have "Saint" Joey Potter! In the other, Jen "Rapidly Shrinking" Lindley! Let's have a clean fight, girls! And we're off! Joey chirps that Charlie taught her how to surf; Jen makes a series of uninteresting disapproving faces. "I just...I...I don't know," is her thoughtful argument against getting involved with Charlie. She's not sure why Joey would want to "waste [her] time." Joey purses her lips and points out that it is, in fact, her time. "And, anyway, he makes me laugh sometimes," she says. Jen snorts that "that's how he reels you in." Because she's been there! Joey tries to extricate herself from this, and says that she's just trying to go with her instincts, here. "But thank you," she says, and tries to leave, but Jen pulls her back, asking what Joey's instincts are telling her. Joey glares, and spits that Jen is probably not all that qualified to give her romantic advice. Jen sputters that she just doesn't want Joey to get hurt. "Come on, Jen. It's not like you've ever had my feelings in mind before," Joey finally spits. "I mean, what were your instincts telling you when you slept with Dawson?" And that is below the belt! Joey points that she didn't say anything when that went down, and she'd appreciate it if Jen'd return that favor. Jen counters this by demanding to know what Charlie means to Joey. Joey shrugs that she doesn't know that, yet, but she'd surely like to know what the hell he means to Jen. "Nothing," Jen insists. "So why do you care so much?" Joey asks. Charlie, of course, enters the room at this exact moment, bearing Joey's keys, which she left at the beach. Joey takes them from him, as Jen stomps off to bed saying she doesn't feel well at all. Joey looks right at Charlie, and asks him, like Calgon, to take her away.