Episode Report Card Potes: B- | 8 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT A Cramp in the Dick
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 06.30.2013
Speaking of divorces, Richie surprises Kathy by taking her to a commercial kitchen, owned by a young sketchball named Jacob. Apparently Richie has rented Kathy this place. Though I guess you rent it by the day or by the hour, which works for high class hotels so why not. Kathy is again peeved that Richie is making decisions without regard to her wants, needs, or opinions, and Richie is in turn peeved that Kathy doesn't appreciate his efforts.
We then join Teresa, who is pecking away at a computer to prove to us that she does indeed write her own blogs. Totally convincing! She also wants to fend off rumors that she doesn't cook. Does it count as a rumor when her brother says it directly to her face on camera? In any case, Teresa gets a call from Rosie. Rosie wants to iron some shit out once and for all, and invites Teresa to get a drink. Teresa is hesitant, given that Rosie actually threatened to murder her on camera at the reunion show. But Rosie is family, and you always have to be ready to forgive family. Teresa tells us that in the worst-case scenario, Rosie will stab her over 100 times. Apparently she is willing to risk that very real possibility.
Melissa's mother and sisters come over with some old family photos for Melissa's book. Melissa looks troubled, and tells us that she doesn't want to air her family's dirty laundry unless she has their approval. She mentions how she has to get into how the death of her father changed her, and perhaps get into her trust issues from things that went on when she was young. Her mother asks how much she's thinking of putting in the book, and what she's going to say. Melissa has apparently already written one paragraph (I'm sure the publisher will be thrilled that she has one paragraph done! Only 800 more to go!) about how when her father was in the mood to party, he'd leave for three days. Melissa says that she wants to include it in her marriage advice book, since the fear that her husband will cheat made her into the all-pleasing sex machine of a wife she is today. She feels that including that bit of personal history is crucial, and her mother tells her to do what she has to do. Given that they're talking about this on camera, did anyone really have doubts about the outcome of that discussion?
Back at the Wakile house, things are getting even more heated. Richie complains that since Kathy has started a career, the house is going to shit. She points out that it's his mess, and she's merely stopped picking up after his dirty ass so much. Furthermore, she has a cramp in her dick about the fact that Rich makes decisions without consulting her, likely because he won't like what she has to say. Kathy tells us that Richie is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that she's no longer a housewife. He argues that she doesn't appreciate his efforts to get her cannolis out of the kitchen. And you know, I thought this was all for the cameras, but then Kathy sort of chokes up in an interview as she says that Richie isn't going to change, and after 21 years she's not sure if she can take it anymore. New nose, new attitude! Then they bicker some more, and it's dick cramps all around.