Episode Report Card Potes: B- | 8 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT A Cramp in the Dick
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 5 | Aired on 06.30.2013
After a break, we are in Richie and Kathy's kitchen. He's got cannoli boxes. And that's not a euphemism. She doesn't care for his plain white cannoli boxes, wanting something a little more decorative. But he's already paid for thousands of the stupid plain ones, because why would he consult with her before doing something having to do with her business? Kathy is selling her cannolis nationally, it turns out, and Richie is her business partner. They've obviously set some clear ground rules about how decisions are made. Richie tells Kathy to trust him, and she says that they're not selling gasoline. Oooh, burn. In turn, Richie cuts Kathy's pretty ribbon and calls her pretty box garbage, then more or less interviews that she's a housewife with no business sense of her own. Kathy tells us that Rich needs to be in control, which was fine in the past. But now sisters are doing it for themselves, and Richie had better watch it. What would you give for Tabatha to take over Kathy's cannolis? I think it would go something like: "Here's your cannoli. Fuck off."
Speaking of specious food endeavors, we cut to Caroline with Lauren, Albie and Christopher in the kitchen of her Hoboken apartment. Christopher is rubbing butter on half of a loaf of bread, and is actually holding the top of the butter stick with his naked hand. Caroline rightly calls it nasty, and Christopher argues that he is inherently nasty. Touché, my gross friend. Caroline tells the kids that Al suggested they go to Europe for a month, which is apparently quite a change from Al's typical schedule of working all the time and never talking to Caroline at all. The kids make it sound like a hardship, but frankly, I bet that has been the secret of their success. The fact that my parents have worked opposite shifts for years is, I think, 90% of the reason why they're still together. Albie and Christopher argue that Caroline and Al barely know each other, since they're only together once a week. Caroline argues that it's quality and not quantity. Somehow the family Manzo segues to Christopher saying that he never wants kids, especially girls, because from ages 10-25 it's terribly hard work to make sure they don't turn into whores. Lauren pipes in to say that she was fat during her whore years so didn't get to make the most out of them, and then everyone agrees that fat girls are blow job queens. Except for Lauren, allegedly. And then everyone gets to talk about exactly how fat Lauren was, and it's just like old times!