Episode Report Card Demian: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Sex And The Single Dolt
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 16 | Aired on 02.21.2004
The Only Hospital In San Francisco. A doctor examines Phoebe's X-rays and announces that although she suffered no more than a mild concussion, he'd still like to keep her overnight for observation. Phoebe insists on leaving right away. The doctor tries to talk her out of it, but eventually relents and passes her a release form to sign. Phoebe scribbles out her name -- let's hope she spelled it right this time -- and thanks him before hopping back onto her gurney to get dressed. Out in the hall, Raige paces around distractedly until she spots Phoebe's doctor barreling out of the exam room to take on what appears to be a mass casualty now entering the ER doors. Raige darts into the exam room to worry her pretty little head over Piper's disappearance and the possible loss of Big Gay Chris. "If Piper were gone," Phoebe assures her, "I would sense it." Raige doesn't quite buy this, but silently follows Phoebe back into the hall, where Phoebe oh-my-gods at all of the injured. Raige exposits that a truck hit a bus. Phoebe, whose Fucking Backup Band should be hurling her into an empathic seizure right about now, simply gazes sadly down the hall. The hall flares white and…
…we're back in The Ghastly Plane. Piper enters the seemingly abandoned hospital, calling for her sisters. Racing in after her, the Dolt insists, "They're not here!" and I must admit, Piper's being uncharacteristically dumb about this whole thing. Hell, the ChinoCam should have tipped her off the second they emerged from the alleyway. I suppose we're meant to believe her concern for Phoebe has overridden her higher cerebral functions, but I'm thinking it's more a matter of the Dolt's special brand of stupid sucking her brain straight out of her ear. In any event, the Dolt hastily blurts out his theory regarding recent events, to wit: I somehow conspired to trap them in an alternate reality that "coexists with [their] world, but not with [their] lives," with neither their powers nor her sisters. Well, he's partly right. Piper, still being a brickhead, clomps down the vacant hallway shouting for Phoebe as the screen flares white and…
…we head back in the real world, where Phoebe hears Piper's barely audible voice echoing above the general mayhem of the emergency room. Phoebe and Raige puzzle about this for a moment until their attention's distracted by someone flatlining in a nearby room. They rather rudely push their way over to the door to rubberneck as Phoebe's doctor zaps the dying bus driver's chest with those paddle thingies. What? Oh, shut up. If you want proper hospital terminology, go bang on Heathen's door. Phoebe and Raige wince and look so very sad as the screen flares us back to…
…The Ghastly Plane, where Piper's still being unusually pig-headed about the whole situation as the Dolt pleads with her to get her act together already. "Dammit!" he breathes, reaching for her arm. "I don't want you to get hurt, too!" Something in his tone does something to her, but I couldn't for the life of me tell you what the hell those somethings are. Piper's eyes dart over to another section of the hallway, and the Dolt turns to find the bus driver standing there, nearly as clueless as the Dolt is. Everyone's a little freaked, and the three stand in awkward silence, staring at each other until the bus driver asks, "Am I dead?" "[Dolt]?" Piper cautiously intones. "What's going on?" The bus driver repeats the Dolt's name before asking if he's an angel. Meanwhile, out on the street, I vomit and vomit and vomit until the last bit of my stomach lining comes shooting out of my nose. No sooner has the bus driver made me hurl than he leaves, slowly fading out until he disappears entirely. "I know what plane we're on," the Dolt whispers. "The [Ghastly] Plane!" Piper's all, "Yes…and? This means nothing to me, you fuckwit." The screen flares, slamming us back into…