Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blood And Guts
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 08.17.1997
Main area. A new hack, Wood, reports to Diane. He's been working in Oz for three weeks. In other words, he might not even have seen anyone sucking any dick. Of course, I don't know what goes on in the CO locker room. Wood seems to have an interest in Said. Cut to the laundry room, where Said enters to find Wood rifling through his dryer. Wood says he wanted to see if a great man like Said is "a Fruit Of The Loom or a Hanes man." Well, I guess I was wrong about the whole sucking-dick thing. Said informs him that he doesn't wear underwear. Well, fellatio's just a zipper away, then. Wood conspiratorially breathes the Muslim prayer to Said, and leaves. Said, puzzled, looks in the dryer, and discovers a gun. DUN!
In the lobby, Devlin gives Smith's mother a medal in front of reporters. Later, she tells Mukada and Glynn that she'd like to watch Groves's execution, but Glynn says the state doesn't allow family members to be present. She then asks instead to see Groves. Cut to Mukada and Glynn leading her into death row. The actress gives an archetypical performance of, as Chuck put it, "the shop-worn, burdened-but-resolute strong black mother thing." She tells Groves that he broke God's law of "love thy neighbor," and that she wants to hate him, but she can't. "I feel pity, tears, but no hate. I didn't realize that until this moment. You are my neighbor, and I love you. And I forgive you with all my heart." Groves falls to more pieces than Patsy Cline. Mrs. Smith leaves, and Mukada looks on ambiguously. Did I ever mention that Mukada's job sucks?
In Glynn's office, Devlin thanks the volunteers for the firing squad. They're all hacks. When did Bad Idea Jeans become part of the uniform? Glynn tells them there hasn't been an execution by firing squad in the state in over a hundred years. "Fortunately, Lenny Burruano worked in Utah before coming to Oswald." Are we supposed to infer that teetotaling leads to violent executions? Because if so, my worldview's back in tip-top shape. Burruano tells them that a firing squad is a lot more humane than the electric chair, which seems fairly obvious, and that good lighting and distance are essential for a successful execution. I hope they don't do it in one of the hallways, then. You can barely see a shank in front of you. He continues that they'll have to prepare themselves emotionally for pulling the trigger, and that one of the rifles will contain blanks, so no one will know if he actually had a live gun. So it's inverted Russian roulette. Except with someone else as the target. Why do I draw these comparisons?