Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Blood And Guts
By Couch Baron | Season 1 | Episode 7 | Aired on 08.17.1997
Said meets with a reporter over the glass. He tells the guy that Mershah's death was suspicious, and is an example of the brutality the inmates suffer. Said's wearing a pretty sweet-looking watch, by the way. How does he get away with that? I'd think a watch would be the only thing you'd lose faster than your anal virginity. Said continues that there have been a number of suspicious deaths at Oz, like, duh, and wonders what's taking the FBI so long to release its report. The reporter asks if it's been repressed, but Said is like, why do you think I called you in? Cut to Oz TV, where the reporter, probably seeing the word "Pulitzer" in big shiny letters, has wasted no time asking questions. An FBI spokesman says the report isn't finished, and the delay is in the interests of diligence. Cut to McManus's office, where Glynn tells Said he's ordering a press blackout. Well, that won't raise any eyebrows, Leo. Said starts some idiocy about "blackout" versus "Wite-Out," but my worldview takes another hit when McManus tells him to shut up. He goes on that Said is trying to destroy what he built, but Said accuses him of arrogance, and says that what's happening is bigger than the two of them. He dares Glynn to take away all the inmates' means of communication. "There will always be a man to tell the truth." Not if he excites himself into another coronary, there won't.
In the main area, as the Muslims pray, Diane announces a list of new restrictions from Glynn, which are all designed to take away the Muslims' prayer accessories. Glynn, what did I say about the bull and the horns? Said tells Diane that this violates their right to practice their religion; she counters that they can pray all they want, but they're not guaranteed any possessions as prisoners. Some of the Muslims look like they're praying for some violence here, but Said tells them that their faith is in their hearts, and is the first to hand over his stuff. There's gonna be some glowering tonight!
In the cafeteria, Glynn announces that the FBI report will be released that day, and that it will state that all the inmates who died so far this season were killed by other inmates except Mershah, whose death was a suicide. The prisoners boo, and then start beating their utensils on the tables as Glynn continues that some of the COs may have been involved in some of the murders. Said stands and looks at Glynn, who begs for quiet, then gives up and walks off. Said looks at the room and grandly drops his tray on the table. The crowd immediately stops and goes silent, then cheers for Said. Yeah, Glynn, those new regulations were a great idea. Groves looks at Said in wonder. Later, in the main area, Groves goes up to Said and tells him that he's "awesome," and even says the stock Muslim prayer. Said looks a little nonplussed, possibly wondering if he should break the news that Muslims consider it a sin to eat their parents. Groves goes into his pod and tells Alvarez that Said is a great speaker, and says their lives are shitty because of Glynn and McManus. He tells Alvarez that he thought it would be hard to murder his parents, but it wasn't. Alvarez asks how he did it, which is the blaring trumpet herald for Groves's "What Are You In For?" flashback. We see a man and a woman watching television. In fast motion, someone comes up and hits them both in the back of the head with a ball peen hammer. Groves comes around the couch, sits down, and changes the channel from a news program to a cartoon. Did he kill them because they wouldn't let him watch cartoons? That is awesome. In the present, Groves tells Alvarez that he thinks he should kill Glynn. Between Glynn and McManus, you choose Glynn? You really are crazy, my friend. Alvarez suggests he go see Dr. Nathan, as she gave him some killer antidepressants. Groves: "My first idea's best." Best. Character. Ever.