Episode Report Card Potes: B+ | 2 USERS: A+ YOU GRADE IT Mollie Who?
By Potes | Season 6 | Episode 5 | Aired on 04.04.2006
Danielle encourages Brooke to go up, but Brooke says she's shy, and then says, "I don't know how to rhyme, I can't do it." Oh, Brooke. At least she admits it.
Furonda then throws down with one of the cast members, and gets him good saying something about an "S-curl." I did some research and found out that S-Curl is this. Is it racist to say that there is something intrinsically funny about black hair products? Because if so, Furonda is racist.
Nick gives the girls a critique. Furonda was sharp and quick. Brooke was non-existent. Jade didn't listen. She interviews that she needed more direction, because nothing is her fault. Nick says that Mollie Sue has a huge personality, but that he wanted to see more. Interesting, interesting. Sara can put it on instantly. Leslie went hard. Joanie had fun with it. Danielle keeps it real. Nnenna's accent and smile are naturally funny. Jade says that she was surprised, because Nnenna kept her focus even with all the boyfriend drama. I feel like "much to her chagrin" should be added between "that" and "she" in the previous sentence, even though I don't really have any proof. And the winner is...Furonda! Yay! Furonda has forced me to love her. She's really smart and funny and kind of awesome. I mean, it could be that my standards have just really lowered after three seasons of recapping this show, too. In addition to the Veronica Mars role, Furonda gets a bonus prize and gets to pick one friend to share it with. Jade volunteers and Furonda is all, "Uh, no." She picks Nnenna. Nick says that Furonda and Nnenna get to film a nationwide PSA, which Furonda knows is a public service announcement. Even the Wild 'N Out guys are impressed that she knows what the acronym means. Of course, they've just spent an hour listening to not-that-pretty models rhyme "cracker" with "fuzzy navels," so their standards might be lowered, too. Furonda interviews that she wants to use her "supermodel status and fame" to make people take notice of what's going on in the world. Good luck with that, then.
In the car on the way home, Mollie Sue, Sara, and Joanie discuss what an evil whore Jade is. Joanie once again comes up with the best line, saying, "She sure as hell doesn't act like she's almost thirty." I am simultaneously delighted and, as someone who is quite a bit past being almost thirty, insulted.
Back at the house, Jade and Furonda talk. Jade once again goes on about how people think she's a bitch "when they first meet" her, but that she's one of the "realest individuals" out there. Furonda asks why, if Jade is so real and nice, she'd go so far in the rapping game. Jade counters by saying that Furonda keeps going off on the topic of "nicenessness," but that it's not about that. Furonda can hardly take Jade seriously. She says that Jade puts on a façade, and Jade interrupts her to say, "Façazz? What the hell is a façazz?" And no, gentle readers, she wasn't just questioning Furonda's pronunciation. She actually just doesn't know what a façade is. Furonda says, "façade." And Jade says, "Façazz?" And Furonda says, "Fa-çaDe." And Jade says, "Façade?" She is so dumb. Jade says that her life story is such that she should write a book about it, and that when she does, Furonda should read it. I hope that when Jade is personally signing Furonda's copy of The Façazz: Recognize, at least one of them is wearing some freaking pants.