Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Gray Widow
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.01.2005
Kiefer scampers across the lawn and climbs over the fence surrounding the building without incident. He reaches the back door and runs a scanner along the jamb to determine what kind of alarm system he's dealing with. We don't get a good look at the scanner, but I'd like to think it's stamped with the words "MADE IN CHINA." He jams the system, picks the lock, and he's quickly inside the Consulate's courtyard. Soul Patch's voice is in his earpiece, warning him clear of patrolling guards. It's a little like The Matrix (if The Matrix had more sneaking) with Soul Patch acting as Kiefer's Operator. Soul Patch is of course "staying covert" by using his outdoor voice on the CTU floor. Lots of first-person sneaker video game moves going on, while a bamboo flute trills on the soundtrack. Kiefer draws his current weapon of choice, a tranquilizer pistol. He's now inside the building's main hall, on the first floor, where he can see Lee pacing around on the second-floor mezzanine. Another man in a suit is up there with him. Since stairs are for wusses (and also too exposed and well-lit), Kiefer stays in the shadows and climbs straight up the support column to the second level. There's a moment where he's pretty vulnerable clambering over the handrail, since it takes both hands, but he regains his feet and redraws his weapon without someone walking up and booting him in the chops. He silently moves along the mezzanine. He takes down two uniformed Chinese guards with tranquilizer darts, then bursts into the room with Lee and the other man, where he knocks them both unconscious with an elbow to the chin and a roundhouse punch, respectively. He sweeps Lee up into a fireman's carry, saying, "I got him." "Roger that," Soul Patch answers. But Kiefer's been spotted by another guard, who sounds the alarm. I suppose the armed, black-clad man in a ski-mask forcibly carrying a human being out of a secure building at 2:30 in the morning isn't likely to be mistaken for a member of the maintenance crew. And any hope that nobody else will understand the guard because he's yelling in Chinese is quickly dispelled as more guards come running.
"People moving towards you on both floors," Soul Patch obviouses. Kiefer orders the van brought to the exit, and Curtis relays the order. The van screeches up to the curb and Curtis throws the back doors open. Kiefer's already outside the building and in the courtyard by the time the guards start shooting. The Consul runs outside, hollering in Chinese, and stupidly runs in front of the guards who are shooting. Naturally, they can't hit Kiefer, but the boss takes one in the back right away. We don't get to hear the Mandarin word for "D'oh!" Curtis and the other agent rush into the courtyard and engage some guards hand-to-hand. Why the guards don't just shoot them, I don't know. One of the guards manages to briefly unmask the other agent, who quickly uses his unprotected face to head-butt his assailant unconscious before remasking. It's 2:35:43 when Kiefer makes it back to the van, clearly grateful that it's the Chinese Consulate he just invaded and that Palmer didn't send him to kidnap a Samoan. He tells Raab that Lee's been hit, and demands the medical bag. Curtis and the other agent jump back in the van, and they're away safely. Well, except the guy they came to get, who's got a bullet in him.