Episode Report Card M. Giant: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Gray Widow
By M. Giant | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 05.01.2005
Out on the floor, at 2:11:52, Lispy Skip gets a call saying that the AV people have finished restoring the ImhoTape. Skip requests that the video be sent to his screen, and calls Bitchelle over to watch it with him. The fast-moving Buchanan joins them as well, and there on Skip's monitor is a staticky ImhoTerror, saying, "You wake up today to a different world. One of your own nuclear weapons has been used against you." You know what? He's not as good this time. I think when they shot the scene where he records the tape, the camera he was talking to wasn't running, and then Vosloo had to redo it so we could have this footage of him talking directly to the camera lens. And then they scratched it all up in hopes that we wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm onto you, 24. Speaking as somebody who spends several hours a week watching every episode a few seconds at a time, I…kind of hate myself. As ImhoTerror's second take continues, Buchanan and Bitchelle speculate as to whether they should take ImhoTerror's words literally. Buchanan asks Skip what time sunrise is on the East Coast, and Lispy Skip almost instantly says, "7:02. Less than two hours away." That's interesting. Does this mean that the East Coast in the 24-verse is a straight line? Because I just checked the sunrise times for Lubec, Maine and Jacksonville, Florida, and they have dawns almost an hour and a half apart this time of year. That's not the only thing that's unclear, as staticky ImhoTerror keeps issuing his staticky threats on Lispy Skip's screen. And that's the last we'll see of him this week. It's 2:12:52.
2:17:13. Kiefer, Curtis, and a young Asian woman (who I assume is Melissa Raab, the Chinese interpreter) are riding along in the back of a CTU van; Grayadder wonders how he's going to get away from DoDder if he can't walk; and some guys in Iowa are doing something or other with an American nuclear warhead after it's been fiddled with by a guy who learned everything he knows about atomic weapons via emailed schematics and diagrams of Chinese nukes sent to him by another guy with shadowy motives who doesn't speak English. Those guys are looking braver to me all the time.
Inside the Undal Office, PMHC notifies Palmer that he's got the Chinese Consul in Los Angeles on the line. Palmer takes the call and introduces himself simply as "David Palmer." Inside an ornate building, we see a subtitle that reads "Chinese Consulate." Palmer lies that the reason he's helping out at the White House is because the Veep is occupied with other, "equally important matters," and the Consul extends his sympathies and an offer to help. Palmer says that the Consul actually can help, and explains about Lee Jong. The Consul confirms that Lee is in the house. Palmer asks to take Lee into custody. The Consul says that Lee is proclaiming his innocence, and, what with Lee being a Chinese citizen and the Consulate being Chinese territory, "I can't just hand him over to you without going through channels." Palmer asks the Consul to call the Chinese Premier, and to tell him that "cooperation will be regarded as an extraordinary act of friendship on the part of his nation, and our nation will respond in kind." Could you vague that up a little, mister private citizen who wasn't actually given any authority to negotiate with other governments? The Consul promises to do his best, and they hang up. "How long will it take?" PMHC asks Palmer. Palmer doesn't know. Ah, this is the Palmer I remember.
2:18:12. Bitchelle and Soul Patch are on the CTU floor, almost literally, as they discuss the lack of progress on the search for the warhead. Lots of eye-fucking going on between these two. Naturally, that's when the nearest phone rings, and Bitchelle answers it. Somebody get this place a fucking switchboard already. A female voice tells Bitchelle she's calling for Soul Patch. Bitchelle identifies herself for no reason and asks who's calling, also for no reason. "The woman he happens to be living with," answers Skank of Soul Patch. Ooh, awkward. Bitchelle's face goes from blank to glacial, although her tone doesn't change as she asks SoSP to hang on. "It's for you," she tells Soul Patch. "Who is it?" asks poor, dumb, doomed Soul Patch. "The woman you're living with?" Bitchelle says casually, and looks at him with an exquisite lack of expression. Soul Patch heroically suppresses his full-body cringe, and takes the call. SoSP says she's been calling all over, wondering where Soul Patch is, and finally figured out that Kiefer brought him back to CTU. Soul Patch tries to deal with SoSP while Bitchelle is standing right there next to him this whole time, pretending to work but obviously hearing everything he's saying. "I thought you hated that place," SoSP says, and Soul Patch says things have changed. "Yeah, I guess they have," SoSP snap-catches.