Episode Report Card Potes: A- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Lipstick on a Pigford
By Potes | Season 17 | Episode 7 | Aired on 10.26.2011
When we return, the launch party is in full swing. There is a red carpet, and fans, and, judging by Laura's extra-drunken voice, readily available booze. Additionally, there is a special guest: Eva "Marcille," winner of Cycle 3. You may remember her as Eva the Diva. I personally remember her best as Eva Pigford, because that is her name. Marcille = lipstick on a Pigford. Eva has a microphone and interviews the girls, asking them, "What sets your fragrance aside from everyone else's?" That's a particularly great Freudian slip, and for a moment I hope they'll all answer literally, like, "Oh, it's true, mine sucks too. Don't even bother, just put it over there and forget about it." By the way, Eva looks kind of insane, with white-blonde hair that will burn your retinas if you stare too long. Laura is her cute self when Eva interviews her, talking about how sweet and natural-smelling her fragrance is. Lisa, looking like she just crawled out of a dumpster after a particularly memorable bender, talks about "Neon" and how she's a Cali girl and let's have a good time blah. I can't imagine that, seeing her in such a state, I'd actually want to smell like her. But people are strange.
The girls take their bathtub stations, and while Lisa instantly splashes around in the tub, some of the others are just standing there talking to people normally. Some ladies wear bathing suits, and Laura appears to be wearing red lingerie, but again some are fully clothed. Allison seems to be taking the best approach, which is to stand fully-clothed in the tub. Only her feet are wet, but she's technically in there. If only Bianca had consulted her for strategy! Kayla is in a bikini and offers to pose "Free" when Nigel stops by. He instructs her to get all the way in the tub, and she does. It's a real, "Dance, monkey!" moment. Nigel tells us that though Kayla's brand is "free," she's actually a little timid, and that nervousness translates. Meanwhile, Allison tells some folks that "Honey Blood" is whimsical and mysterious and soft, like a safe place to go. Everyone is like, "...Honey Blood?" And Allison is like, "...Honey Blood."
Alexandria soggily lets some dudes paw all over her, and it looks like Dominique is fully wet as well. We cut to Bianca, looking miserable as a big cheer goes up at the station next to hers. We then see that the station belongs to Lisa, who's dancing around in her on-brand neon bathing suit. She yells about having fun and life being too short and then bounces around to more cheers. Nigel says that with Lisa, regardless of whether you actually like or care about her, there's a big splash, and she's noisy. So the key to success is being noisy. Noted! Pigford agrees, and says that because Lisa was having a good time, she had a good time as well. She says that Lisa is a great spokesperson, and we cut to Lisa splashing her legs around in the tub some more.