Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Who's a Bad Mama Jamma?
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.28.2002
Or kill me AFTER Sydney has her little freak-out at Dr. Nancy about her mother. Dr. Nancy's all, you haven't said word one about Mommy. Syd's all, okay, for those of you out there who don't pay attention, and that means YOU, Dr. Nancy, Mommy and I aren't exactly sistahs, if you know what I mean. "What am I supposed to say?" Sydney growls. "Something insightful? The first time I see my mother in twenty years and she almost kills me? Which would have made me the thirteenth CIA officer she's killed. She's…former KGB. She's betrayed my father. She's betrayed this country. All anyone needs to know about that woman is that she's the bad guy." Oh, and her meatloaf sucks.
Paging Dr. Giggles! Paging Dr. Giggles! Someone named Khasinau has stolen your basement office and is cutting up LIVE patients! Please report to the front desk!
That's right, kids. We're on to the "ew" portion of the evening. After Syd leaves Dr. Nancy's office in a huff, the scene switches to the head of a man laid out on a metal slab, his eyes blinking lazily. Hands encased in surgical gloves come into the frame and slice through the man's forehead with a scalpel. WHILE HIS EYES ARE STILL MOVING. The camera pulls back and up and we see Khasinau, getting the cranial saw ready. You heard me.
What's he doing? Why's he cutting up LIVE people? Is this his hobby? Is this an organ farm? Is he actually Josef Mengele? Is he practicing to take Dr. Mark Greene's place? Is this just a lame attempt to ook us all out and make us think that something more sinister than bad Russian accents is taking place in Spy Mommy's lair?
Wendy Kroy: Questions, questions. Always with the questions.
Regina: Can I open my eyes yet?
Wendy Kroy: Yeah.
Regina: Oh, good. DUDE. The scene's not OVER yet.
Wendy Kroy: Sorry.
Regina: Ew. Gack. GAAAACK
Wendy Kroy: Oh, shut up. The most important part's coming up.
Regina: Get me a bucket.
Wendy Kroy: Throw up in the Munchos bag.
Regina: Ew. Munchos.
Wendy's right, of course. The most important part IS coming up. Khasinau gets a phone call and some other doctor without morals wheels a gurney around and, as the gurney comes to its resting place, we see that Vaughn, in a drug-induced stupor, is lolling around on the gurney. Did we mention that Vaughn is SHIRTLESS? And HAS A TATTOO? And is SHIRTLESS?