Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Who's a Bad Mama Jamma?
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.28.2002
Over in Arvin's Playhouse, Syd's watching Will's press junket with Uncle Arvin. He tells her that, as ucky as Will's current situation is, it's not nearly as bad as being dead. Then he…ew! He puts his hand on her shoulder and it's sooooo creepy and almost sexual that it just ooks me out. Plus the fact that he's all, "You know how much I care about you, Sydney" and rubbing his thumb UP AND DOWN HER SHOULDER! Ew! Ewwww!
Sydney, thankfully, moves away from the Hand of Ickiness, and Uncle Arvin asks her to say something at Auntie Em's funeral service. Way to completely gloss over the fact that Auntie Em CROAKED, people! Hello?! Last thing we knew, she was just sick. And, even though only a couple of weeks were supposed to have passed between the last moment of the final episode and the current moment of this season opener, we're supposed to just assume that Emily's bought the farm and Sydney's okay with that. Right. And I'm Anna Nicole Smith's personal assistant.
Wendy Kroy: That would be kinda fun, though, wouldn't it?
Regina: What?
Wendy Kroy: Being Anna Nicole Smith's personal assistant..
Regina: Are you INSANE? .
Wendy Kroy: Oh, come on. You wouldn't get paid to follow that train wreck around?.
Regina: Fuck no! I have enough trouble watching that train wreck on VH-1. I truly can't stomach it. I can't decide whether I want to laugh or vomit. Or sometimes both. At the same time. In stereo.
Wendy Kroy: Yeah. I know what you mean. Oh, and ew.
Regina: I'm sayin'.
And once again with the EW. Will's slopped over a toilet at Syd and Francie's, speaking to the porcelain god. He looks like hell. Francie comes in and asks if Will's okay. "Fantastic," he says, rubbing his mouth. Okay. I don't know much about heroin, nor do I really want to, but, like, how long was he really on this shit? I mean, when did Spy Daddy really shoot him up? Did he have more afterwards? Like, was it WEEKS between when Will received his Spy Daddy shot and the drug raid? Because, as far as I know, one shot does not a heroin addict make. I'm not an expert or anything, thank God, but, like, I seriously doubt that he'd be going through detox after just one shot.
Okay, enough Horse Lessons. Syd arrives home and she and Francie the Foolie hug. Foolie has to go meet with her realtor because, if you recall, she's opening a restaurant. Because all caterers who make ten bucks an hour have the financial backing and business acumen to start their own fucking restaurant. Let's hope it gets five stars and Foolie opens ten more chains and gets so damn busy and famous that we never have to see Foolie again. Not that I don't like her, or anything; I'm just tired of the "Roommate Who Knows Nothing" plot device. Because, like, when I had roommates, I knew when they'd borrowed my sweater, I knew when they'd picked up a drummer, I knew when they'd masturbated, for God's sake! There's not a hell of a lot you can hide from someone you live with. Hiding your double life as a spy? Talk about your improbabilities.