Episode Report Card Erin: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Who's a Bad Mama Jamma?
By Erin | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 09.28.2002
So, Will's telling his sad addict stories to Sydney. "Is anybody listening to us right now?" he asks, making viewers all over the world stand up and go, "I have ALWAYS WONDERED about that!" Syd just smiles and tells him that there's a bug killer in the lamp. I must say it's really nice that these two now have no secrets. I really didn't like Will as the overly-curious reporter; I like him much more now as the tortured best friend with a sordid drug-related incident in his past. Sad, but true. I like the damaged merchandise.
Syd's Spy Phone rings and Will asks who it is. "Just say 'good guys' or 'bad guys'," he says. "And I'll understand." Syd says it's the good guys and picks up. Will kind of looks off and wonders if his newfound status as "Guy Who Knows Stuff" will promote him to the ranks of the mysterious "Vaughn" of whom he knows nothing at all. Or, at least, afford him the opportunity to snag some skin time with Spy Barbie.
Speaking of Vaughn, he's swimming. Unfortunately, he's not naked. Here's where we get the "How Did Vaughn Survive Only to Be Snagged By Dr. Giggles" back story. There wasn't any ancient Rambaldi device assisting Vaughn in his escape. Nope. Just a simple old screwdriver. No, not the COCKTAIL. Although, a screwdriver right around that time probably would have tasted really good. Turns out, Vaughn remembered that he had some tools with him, whipped out the screwdriver (hee!) and went to town on a ceiling tile or grate or some such shit and pulled himself out of the Red Ball wa-wa.
He made it as far as the Subbasement of Death and Destruction, where a couple of guards knocked him out. Vaughn's not nearly as good as Sydney is at getting out of tight situations. Two guards? With guns? Sydney woulda been all over dat shit. But not Desk Job Doody over here. Nah. He just takes it like a girl and gets knocked out. And that brings us up to date on the Mysterious Non-Death of Captain Non-Courageous.
Aw, we're back in the Subbasement of Dreams and Desires! With our platonic non-lovers! Syd says something about thinking that Vaughn was dead and there's a moment where you can TOTALLY see Vaughn thinking about laying a warm wet one on Syd's pouting lips, but they're interrupted in their moment of tenderness by the screeching of a gate. Spy Daddy and Agent Sean enter and Spy Daddy starts yammering on about some intercepted phone call between one of Khasinau's operatives and Khasinau.
"He made reference to something called 'The Bible'," says Spy Daddy. "What is it?" asks Sydney. It's the sacred scriptures of Christians comprising the Old Testament and the New Testament, Sydney, but that's not important right now. Actually, it's a book, an operations manual for Khasinau and Spy Mommy's entire operation. Dr. Giggles and Spy Mommy need that book in order to rebuild their operation. If, however, the good guys intercept and nab the book, Spy Mommy might very well be out of business.