Episode Report Card Demian: F | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Behold The Power Of Sleaze
By Demian | Season 6 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.11.2003
Attic. More exposition, Mimbo-style, and little of it's entertaining, so I'll try to make this quick. Moron's wicked pissed because she's been left powerless. Raige's orbing abilities came from her Whitelighter side, you'll recall, and the spell specified "powers of the witches." Of course, this means Moron should have plain old fling-shit-around telekinesis, but no one ever addresses that particular bit of logic, so let's all wave goodbye as it disappears forever into The Sucking Vortex Of Massive And Eternal Badness along with the rest of this fucking episode. In any event, Moron's anger's giving freshly-empathic Midge a migraine. Mange exhorts them to focus on the matter at hand, which is locating and killing the Glamorous Ladies before the Dolt figures out what's going on. Given the Dolt's negligible brainpower, the Mimbos should have years to take care of the gals. Mange's resolve evaporates, though, when she discovers the titular blondes' entry in the Book of Shadows. Moron and Midge crowd around as Mange reads, "The Stillman Sisters: Mabel, Mitzy, and Margo. Common witches known for their small-time hustles and cons. Not worth vanquishing. If they become a nuisance, try a simple spell to bind their magic." This dismissive account of their accomplishments sets the blondes to pouting until Mange reminds her sisters, "We got their powers, we got their Book, and we got...blonde, multi-tonal hair! Who's the nuisance now?" "We are!" Moron giggles. "Oh, yeah!" Midge grunts. Far below, the doorbell rings. Mange sends Midge off on Phoebe's dinner date "to keep up pretenses," while she and Moron hang back in the attic to work on spells.
The Paradise Motel. Well, that's what this flophouse's neon sign claims, at any rate. Inside, Raige and Phoebe stagger into a seedy room with the battered Piper, whom they ease onto the bed. While Phoebe applies gauze to the gash on Piper's shin, the gals formulate a plan of attack that involves Raige orbing off to North Shore Citrus to enlist the aid of the Smurfs while Phoebe hustles elsewhere to "issue a personal invitation" of her own. Piper's to remain at the motel to recuperate the best she can. And Tiny Gay Chris? The ladies reason that he'll be safe enough at the Manor as long as they themselves are alive, as the Mimbos can't risk exposure at this point in their dastardly plan. Just go with it, because after that hideous second act, I don't think I have the strength to argue anymore.