Episode Report Card Gustave: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Spawn Behind Bars
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 20 | Aired on 04.15.2002
Spawn, Rick, and four-time Academy Award Winning Actress Katherine Skankburn are brought into the local precinct for booking. I assume Dan'sWeaselFacedBrother is with them in some "off-camera" capacity similar to Dr. Phil's. Spawn wants that konstitutionally ordained phone call like she's seen on TV. "I need to talk to someone," she emphasizes. "Don't listen to the bitch," says CNN Foreign Correspondent Skanktiane Amanpour. "She lies." Uniformed police officers cuff Spawn and Rick together on a bench in the waiting room. KopKennyG (tm Raramama) brings early-twentieth-century-arts patron and avant-garde writer Skanktude Stein back to his office for kwestioning. Rick tells Spawn to tell the truth to KopKennyG since she had nothing to do with the drug deal. "You were just at the wrong place at the wrong time," he says. And then for some reason it's important to Rick that Spawn "trusts" him. He promises that he'll "back up" whatever Spawn wants to tell the police. "It's time I faced up to what I did," he says. It's Spawn's turn to be fingerprinted. She passes daytime TV talk-show host Skankki Lake on her way over to the desk and they give each other attitude.
Palmer Suite. Palmer enters his bedroom and takes off his jacket. Hey, who's that in his bed? Lady Mac? No, it's Minnie Mac. Li'l Lisa is taking a nap in Daddy's bed. She's exhausted and relieved that the secret is finally out. Palmer warns her that the trouble might only just be starting. They embrace on the bed. The camera swirls around them to reveal that Lady Mac has entered the room and is looking at them suspiciously. Hell, I'm looking at them suspiciously. How the hell did this girl get a part on this show anyway? Palmer asks Li'l Lisa to give him and Lady Mac some privacy. Li'l Lisa leaves but not without giving her mother a hug and a kiss that is saturated with icy Oedipal conflict. Lady Mac predicts that the campaign is over and that the recent press conference was a virtual "concession speech." Palmer tells her that it's not over yet...the campaign, that is. The voters, he supposes, might just appreciate his honesty. The Palmers' marriage, however, might be over. "I just hope your conscience comforts you when you find it's all over," says Lady Mac. "You mean the campaign?" shouts Palmer as she exits the room. "Or us?" Lady Mac pauses before exiting the room but doesn't answer the question. She closes the bedroom door behind her. It has a mirror reflecting Palmer on it.
Kiefer looks around the wildlife preserve some more. He stumbles on a poured-cement stairway leading down to an unmarked door. Someone is watching Kiefer through binoculars, though. It's ForeignAccentedTerrorBoss with a team of EasternBlocMinions who have set up a secret camp there. FATB is wearing a black turtleneck and everything. "What's Kiefer doing here?" asks FATB into his Walkie-Talkie. The henchman on the other end of the line doesn't know. Uh, FATB? If you can't reach your brother on the phone and Kiefer is snooping around your secret camp, don't you think it's logical to assume that Kiefer got to LittleTerrorBrother somehow and subsequently intercepted some important information from him? Kiefer snoops around the mysterious door some more with a flashlight. An alarm goes off. Flashing lights disorient Kiefer. A door opens and a couple of armed guards shoot a taser dart at Kiefer. Kiefer goes down and the guards carry his unconscious body inside. Okay, this is getting interesting. The time is 7:13:48 PM.