Episode Report Card Demian: F | 153 USERS: C- YOU GRADE IT Down The Bimbo-Hole
By Demian | Season 8 | Episode 2 | Aired on 2005.10.02
All The News That's Fit To Fuck Me. Vex ambles in from the hall and, long story short, Phoebe's glamoured identity is now writing the paper's advice column, because Vex had a little chat with Elise Rothman, Girl Editor, and Elise decided to hire "Julie" based solely upon Vex's recommendation, despite the fact that Vex is little more than a badly coiffed pantywaist with an enormous mole on his cheek who glues bits of rusted rebar together in a physically impossible garret and calls the results "art," and I hate this show. Just then, a breaking news story splashes itself all over the office's flat-paneled TV, detailing the recovery of one previously missing "Alice Robbins" who was found "mumbling incoherently" about "a path that leads nowhere and smiles without faces." Phoebe immediately understands what's really going on, because she's so smart. She jiggles out of the office to head back to the Manor, but not after promising to phone Vex later.
Manor. Phoebe arrives on the sun porch to share the fruits of her mad deductive skillz with Piper, Raige, and the Dolt, but of course Raige has already filled the others in on this evening's tawdry rip-off. A brief processing summit ensues, after which Raige announces she'll head back to The Retarded Bimbo's palatial dorm room to swipe The Retard's scrying materials, while Piper and Phoebe remain in the Manor to whip up some vanquishing potions. And...scene.
Meanwhile, down in the sewer, The Retarded Bimbo -- once again clad in her ludicrous black hookerwear (and oh, dear Lord. I just remembered she claimed to have bought it all at Saks. Can you imagine? No, neither can I) -- picks her way through the tunnels until Haas and Little Miss Notoriety pop up in front of her so Haas can pimp-smack The Retarded Bimbo forty feet through the air and into a concrete wall. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Play. Pause. Rewind. Slow-forward. Haas is the best demon ever! The Retarded Bimbo crumples to the filthy ground with a bloody gash on her cheek as Haas and Little Miss Notoriety advance upon her to make with the threats and such. As he still believes The Retarded Bimbo is one of the glamoured Glamorous Idiots, Haas orders Little Miss Notoriety to "send [The Retard] through." "Then," he sneers, "after her sisters find her wandering the streets and come looking for revenge? We'll. Send. Them. Through. Too." I. Should. Be. Dreadfully. Worried. About. This. Terrible. Development. Shouldn't. I? And. Yet. I. Remain. Utterly. Indifferent. Because. This. Episode. Sucks. But at least we've hit the final commercial break! Hooray!