Episode Report Card Sars: C- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Baby
By Sars | Season 1 | Episode 6 | Aired on 02.23.1998
In the Sanctum, Dawson leaves a message for Pacey. Joey comes in -- the front way, for a change -- and Dawson says he’s "kinda worried about Pacey," but Joey cuts him off: "No time to talk, Dawson. My sister’s having her baby." Dawson responds, "Cool, congratulations," and Joey adds, "On your lawn." Dawson: "What?" Downstairs, a sweaty Bessie watches anxiously as Dawson says into the phone, "Yeah, sure -- yeah, I understand, but -- yeah, please, I’ll hold," and then says to Bessie, "Well, the good news is the ambulance is on its way. The bad news is it’s stopping in Duxbury first." Bessie exclaims, "Duxbury? That’s an hour away." Dawson says that "childbirth is not a high priority today" due to a major traffic accident, but "they’re giving me an ETA in a second." Bessie bitches, "One hospital with one ambulance and no doctor within thirty miles -- another of the hidden joys of living in the middle of nowhere," and I know I’ve talked before about the small size of the year-round Cape Cod community, but I think they have more than one hospital and they certainly have more than one ambulance. As Dawson says in disbelief, "How long?" into the receiver, we find out that Bodie has already caught a bus for Hyannis and nobody can reach him, and Bessie grabs the phone from Dawson and snarls into it, "Listen, you sorry-ass civil servant, this is the mother-to-be talking. Maybe I’m not in the tax bracket that guarantees a prompt response to medical distress, but I have a shoe full of amniotic fluid, my pelvis is beating like a rumba band, and I’m in real danger of having my first child delivered by two high-school students, so why don’t you stop making excuses, get off your oversized backside and get us an ambulance before my fetus enters college!" Did I mention that Bessie rocks? Because she does. Bessie hangs up and chucks the phone away as Joey sarcastically says, "Terrific. I’m sure they’ll be right on their way," and she and Dawson exchange a worried glance while Bessie continues to pant and sweat.
Pacey, brooding among the dune grasses on TaMAHra’s porch. TaMAHra approaches with her pleather briefcase, slows down for a moment, and says, "Let’s not have this conversation, Pacey." "What conversation?" Pacey asks. "The one where you apologize to me, and tend to my wounded heart," she answers derisively, continuing, "All the while explaining while you’re not to blame for opening up your big mouth." Pacey protests that he isn’t to blame, that he only told Dawson and he didn’t know Kenny Leaverton was listening, but TaMAHra is having none of it: "There was one boundary placed on this relationship, Pacey. Not sex, not true intimacy, only one -- you don’t talk about it. You don’t tell your friends, and you don’t brag to your classmates, although now I wonder if discretion is just too adult a concept for a boy to grasp." Um, TaMAHra? Nobody forced you to sleep with a fifteen-year-old, so how about you stop blaming Pacey for your neuroses and shut up? Pacey wants her to hear his side, but TaMAHra won’t let him explain, saying with deep sarcasm that he can’t tell her anything she hasn’t already heard in the teachers’ lounge, "which means it’s only a matter of time before the administration gets wind of it, and then the school board, and maybe, if we’re really lucky, the district attorney." Pacey tries to apologize, but TaMAHra cuts him off by reminding him that, that morning, he’d suggested they do "more of the things that couples do. Well, I’ve got one idea that fits the bill. Let’s break up." Nearly in tears, she storms into the house. Pacey winces. I care. Not.