Episode Report Card Potes: B- | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Here Comes the Story of the Hurricane
By Potes | Season 5 | Episode 1 | Aired on 06.02.2013
And then we're at home with Jacqueline and her autistic son, Nicholas, e.g. what really matters. Between this and Sandy, I'm sensing a theme here. Maybe we'll also learn that Teresa has a secret dent in her head that explains everything, or that Juicy actually IS a human thumb, which is a very serious medical condition. Anyway, the biggest challenge with Nick is getting him to communicate, and you can hear the emotion in Jacqueline's voice as she says that it will be a great day when he can tell her how his day was. We see Nick cry and pound the table because he wants an iPad. Eventually he says the word "iPad," which is good since it's not a word that he knew before he lost language. During Sandy, Nicholas wasn't in school and Jacqueline worked with him all day, and he showed a lot of improvement, which is cause for celebration (and, in Jacqueline's case, barely held-back tears).
And then we're with the Gorgas, where Melissa is getting very emotional about their destroyed summer home, while Joe sees it as a construction job. She whips out a letter that Antonia had to write for homework, addressed to Milania. Joe takes a look, and we learn that he too can almost read at the second grade level. Anyway, Antonia misses Milania. Melissa doesn't want to keep the cousins apart, but also doesn't want her kids hearing from Teresa's kids that she used to be a stripper, etc. She wonders when Teresa will stop and let them all be a normal family. "Normal." Melissa says that they can't be together without Teresa trying to bring her down, but she thinks that they should send the letter to Milania. Antonia is like, "Um, we live right next to them." From the mouths of babes.
And then we're at the Wakile home, which looks like a matchbox compared to the homes of her kin. And really, good for Kathy for knowing how to live within her means. Except for the nose job. Rosie is there, wearing a fucking ASCOT. She's like the Fred Jones of Franklin Lakes. Rosie talks about how she's looking for love, but it's hard at bars where people are hammered and unappreciative of a kicky neckerchief. And she won't go online because people there are all freaks with rotten teeth. Or something. Anyhoo, Kathy is kind of mad because Rosie can talk all the crap she wants to and people will just laugh it off, whereas if Kathy makes one aggressive remark about someone's parents being fucking liars at a reunion special all hell breaks loose. She's all, "At least I didn't flip a table!" Rosie advises Kathy to rip people from the get-go. Rosie is the postmodern Stuart Smalley. She tells it like it is, which we are reminded about via footage of her basically becoming the Hulk at last season's reunion. I do hope Andy Cohen gets hazard pay for those.