Episode Report Card Keckler: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The One Where Talyn And Crais Elope
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.16.2000
Crichton visits Zhaanaloon's lair, greeting her with, "Hey, Blue." Zhaan just sits there, her arms partially raised, her palms facing the sky. "Hey, darlin,' can you hear me?" Crichton asks, stepping in front of her. "Certainly I can hear you, John," Zhaan says calmly, "I can always hear you." Crichton "uh-huhs" unconvincingly and asks if she's okay. "Perfectly," Zhaan says. Chiana peers around the corner and watches them intently. Zhaan says she's not at all surprised to see him and then apologizes for shouting at him. Crichton laughs slightly and tells her it's okay. "Um, when exactly was that?" he asks. "On Litigara. I accused you of not being there for me," Zhaan tells him steadily, her eyes wide, "I realize now that wasn't true." Crichton carefully says that he doesn't think he's ever been to Litigara but he's there now. "Yes, your spirit is with me, flesh is unimportant," Zhaan agrees. "It's kinda important," Crichton says. I agree: Crichton flesh is veeeeery important. Zhaan tips her head at him. Crichton starts laughing uproariously and says he's not dead. "She thinks I'm dead," Crichton confides nervously in a laughing aside to Chiana. Chiana smiles cautiously, knowing what's coming. Crichton promises that he's real. "Yes, John, you always will be to me," Zhaan says as she puts her hand to his face and ear fucks him. We haven't seen that since the premiere, right? Guess she only pulls it out for life and death occasions. John falls to the floor and gasps. Zhaan goes back to her praying posture, and we can now see she has crystals in each hand. After a moment, John gets to his feet, digging into his ear with his finger. I guess eargasms are itchy? John asks what the hell is going on. Chiana relays that Pilot thinks nothing wrong and just that Zhaan has resumed the Delvian Seek. John asks if she thinks this is normal. "You tell me -- you've seen more Delvians than I have," Chiana points out. "You think that's a help?" John asks. Hee.
On the Rock, D'Argo plays Rock, Paper, Scissors with himself and gets frustrated when both hands keep throwing the same thing. He's so endearingly thick at times. Aeryn tells him they're running out of food, so he should conserve his energy. D'Argo would rather die sooner than later if he's to die on the asteroid and invites Aeryn to eat him if he dies first. "You don't look ripe to me," Aeryn responds calmly, closing her magnificent eyes. Crichton enters and tells them to hop on board. Pilot comms Crichton -- boy, it's been fucking long since I typed that particular verb -- and says that Talyn is about to leave the asteroid field.