Episode Report Card Keckler: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The One Where Talyn And Crais Elope
By Keckler | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 03.16.2000
Moya. Crichton asks what's going on and why Talyn hasn't tucked under Moya's wing for starburst. The Command Carrier is getting closer. Pilot reports that the prowler has left Talyn and Aeryn is aboard, asking to return to Moya.
Command Carrier. Braca and Scorpius prepare to attack and shit. "Scorpius!" Crais says suddenly and joyfully on the comm, "My final progress report." Scorpius tells Braca to stay his last command. "The gunship is secured, and I am resigning my Peacekeeper commission effective immediately." Scorpius tells Crais to "cease this nonsense." Crais ignores him and goes on, "And as for Crichton, he is dead. I killed him with my bare hands, my brother is avenged. Here ends my report, Captain." Scorpius does his famous, scary growl-hiss. I think he's about to go Incredible Hulk with his voice here. "Fire upon both leviathans," Scorpius orders, his voice several notches lower and deadlier. I'll bet no one steals his lunch out of the office fridge. The Command Carrier fires. Crais looks around at Talyn and smiles. Talyn starbursts in a much cooler way than Moya. It's almost like he creates a wormhole of light and gets sucked into it. Then he spins laterally, bursts, and disappears.
On Moya, everyone is agog. Pilot confirms that Aeryn is aboard, so they starburst away as well. Moya starbursts a peace-loving blue, Talyn starbursts a war-mongering red.
Braca stands uneasily at attention as Scorpius calmly and one-handedly tosses a tinfoil ball. Scorpius silkily reminds Bracadoon that his tactical expert was of the opinion that Talyn wouldn't be able to starburst for an arn. Scorpius tips his head to Braca's quivering (with desire) ear, "Send him to me, so I might educate him." Braca, disappointed that he doesn't get a full dressing down, agrees. As he walks out, Scorpius gives further orders to start searching for Moya on her most probable vectors. Braca, hoping Scorpius would now be able to pierce his plane with his Scorpy vector, is worried that his crush is still obsessing over Crichton the Hot. "After all," Braca complains, "With Crichton dead..." The two of them could live happily-ever-after. "Crichton isn't DEAD!" Scorpius spits. Braca's face falls. "It's merely Crais' small attempt to take his revenge upon me," Scorpius explains quite bitterly. He reasons that if Crais had actually killed Crichton, he wouldn't have told Scorpius. "Crichton is ALIVE!" Scorpius tosses his ball at Braca. Ahem, no comment. "And I will find him!" Scorpius flings himself, hissing and preening onto his red velvet armchair.