Episode Report Card Gustave: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Amnesia and other personality disorders
By Gustave | Season 1 | Episode 17 | Aired on 03.25.2002
The time is 4:27:27 PM. Klockwise from the top left, LittleTerrorBrother's TerrorJaguar is loose on the streets, Palmer does some work at his desk, Rick unbuttons some buttons and gives us a little skin, and Nina and Faux-licity prepare for Operation Vagina. TakeOnKief calls ForeignAccentedTerrorBoss, who is getting into his TerrorMercedes, and tells him that Palmer isn't leaving town after all, thanks to his own Project Penis. FATB is worried about Palmer's "highly placed aide" getting suspicious of his motives. "I wonder why she wants to see you again so quickly," he muses. Ah, but FATB doesn't know women the way LittleTerrorBrother knows women, or so says LittleTerrorBrother. "I know enough about women to know that they can use as well as be used," says FATB, proving that in addition to being a violent terrorist, he's also a sexist and a misogynist. LittleTerrorBrother insists that he's got Faux-licity eating out of his hand, and that she's not suspicious at all. FATB nevertheless insists that Faux-licity be killed once she provides them with vital information. "Just to be safe." Dun dun dun!
Back at the Palmer Hotel, Kiefer leads Faux-licity into LittleTerrorBrother's hotel room, and basically the narrative is interrupted by one big infomercial for fiber optics, as Kiefer explains to the technophobic Faux-licity that the technology allowing them to capture every angle of her sex with a terrorist was made possible by fiber optic wiring. "Fiber optic cameras are tiny cameras," explains Kiefer. "They're almost impossible to see." Bottom line is, there is no escape from the cameras. They are literally everywhere. Oh sure, in a boring old FBI sting there'd just be a camera in each room or something, but in Kiefer's, you get every juicy angle thanks to fiber optics. Kiefer sits down with Faux-licity and shows her the tracking device he wants her to plant in LittleTerrorBrother's wallet. "He'll have it with him, even when he changes clothes," explains Kiefer. As soon as she plants the device, Kiefer, who is watching on the KieferKam in the next room, will call her cell phone and pretend to "summon" her out of the room. And if she feels that the jig is up or gets nervous for any reason, all she has to say is "I think I'm getting a cold" and a SWAT team will move in. "But that would ruin the plan," argues Faux-licity. Kiefer insists that her safety is the top priority. And in the 24-verse, that means that she's as safe as a lobster in a cooking pot. Nevertheless, Faux-licity thanks Kiefer for giving her a chance to redeem herself…you know, for having sex. And then, to make it super-sexy, Kiefer takes the tracking device, which looks like a ring, and places it in Faux-licity's little palm. His own hand closes around her tiny fist, comforting her and thanking her for being a vital part of Operation Vagina.