Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Aw, Tom, It's Not Even My Birthday!
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 07.12.1998
Hill tells us lies are necessary. Yeah, unlike your monologues.
Gloria, who is sporting a bob that I'm not really sure about, tells Pete that McManus will be out of Benchley Memorial next episode -- er, "week." Pete heaves a sigh that she's only been to see him once, like, no one cares, Sister. Diane enters and asks them if Case has talked to them about her, like, way not to panic, dear. They say no, and she leaves. The other two exchange a look like, "Oh, so she killed Ross. Is this milk expired?"
A goatee-sporting Vahue is led into Gen Pop. Hill greets him happily, but when he asks about Dobbins, gets the news that he's gone to that Great Philharmonic In The Sky. It also seems that Rick Fox spent some time with an acting coach, because that scene, while only five seconds long and not great, was better than anything he did last season. Hill: "Fuck." Yeah, I told you about that word already.
One of the members of Case's commission, whom I'll call Blustering Bowtie, finds him in a corridor. Case says he's been "working this murder angle," but Blustering Bowtie laughs and condescendingly tells him not to concern himself with things like that. Case: "Whatever."
Adebisi lies in bed, unconsciously stroking himself. I can only imagine what he's dreaming about. Maybe Ryan? If so, we have more in common than I thought. Case asks Gloria if he can buy her a cup of coffee, but she declines, saying that he makes her nervous. And the prisoners don't? Case is all Mr. Charm, saying that he's not devious, as he's only a college professor. Gloria: "You train lawyers." And that, my friends, is called a trump card. Case, face falling, knows it: "I'll stop being adorable and just ask my questions."
A sweaty Robson lies in bed. We get his hazy, swirly dream-sequence POV as Gloria, in an English accent, tells him the tip of his penis has been severed. A quick succession of prisoners reiterate the same thing, the funniest of course being Adebisi, who sing-songs, "Dick bit off." A topless blonde woman with ample fake breasts approaches, but her face morphs into Beecher's bearded one. And that's the most disturbing thing I've seen all week. Robson wakes up to a much more pleasant sight, Alvarez, who asks him how it feels to be shorter. Robson: "Weird." Well, that was informative. But he never was the sharpest spoon -- er, "knife" in the drawer, was he?
Night. Arif prays, loudly. Wangler bangs his head. Keep it up. Shot of a sweaty, shirtless Ryan doing dips. Yeah. Wangler gets dragged to the infirmary. In an office, a reporter tells us that the public outcry against the Pernicious Peewee's use of force is high. An annoyed PP shuts off the television and asks the commission what's taking so long. He orders them to give an update in a press conference. His grousing leads the Blustering Bowtie to tattle about Case's murder investigation, and says Case is full of shit. Case: "You know, Benjy, given the last three decisions you handed down from the bench, you're the expert on full of shit!" Case? My new hero. And I heartily approve of taking a break from "fuck" and using "shit" instead. Variety in curses is the spice of life, people. This devolves into another shouting match, with the PP of all people forced to play peacemaker. This'll end well.