Episode Report Card Couch Baron: B | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Aw, Tom, It's Not Even My Birthday!
By Couch Baron | Season 2 | Episode 1 | Aired on 07.12.1998
Adebisi sleeps fitfully. Alvarez steals out of bed. He gets a shank from under his mattress and leaves the room. I guess it's consistent that there are no guards around, otherwise I don't know how the killer nurse could have gotten away with all those murders. Alvarez uses the shank to unlock first a mesh door and then a drawer, and takes a bottle of pills. Returning to the main room, he slides a pill into the side of Adebisi's mouth, and intones, "Sweet dreams, motherfucker." Aw. And he'll definitely be dreaming of Ryan now. Alvarez takes a pill himself and then hides the bottle in his robe. In the morning, Gloria checks on a comatose Wangler, and then a groggy but much more coherent Adebisi calls to her: "You know, the last time I had a woman tie me down like this, I married her." Which just goes to show that my suppositions about his wife were on the mark. He says he feels better, but Gloria informs him that before he can leave, he has to spend some time with her and Pete, presumably for drug counseling. In the next bed, Robson looks at a magazine, which surprisingly is Penthouse and not Popular Utensils. Robson: "Hey, doctor, my dick is hard. Is that good?" Gloria: "You tell me." Sassy! Very sassy! A Latino orderly enters on laundry duty. Alvarez gestures with his eyes, and the guy takes his robe. Couldn't he have gestured to his shirt, too?
Case interviews Pete in her office. She tells him that she didn't like Ross, as he scared her and had a "terrible hygiene problem." And here I pictured him taking a lot of showers with Schillinger. Case asks if he ever mentioned having a sexual relationship with anyone on the staff. Dodging the question, Pete says that Ross was a compulsive liar. Switching gears, Case asks if anyone on the staff ever spoke of Ross negatively, to which the answer is obviously, "Everybody." Case presses on, but Pete says that as a psychologist, she doesn't have to break any confidences. Case: "Then we may have to let a court determine that." Case, you may be tough, but taking on Rita Moreno is a nasty business.
Finally. "Ryan O'Reily." He's got the knit cap back on, probably so we don't know that he's growing his hair out, which is a development I'm quite looking forward to, actually. Case notes Ryan's impressive rapsheet. Ryan: "Yeah well, you know, I applied myself." Hee. Case says that even so, Oz must have been a tough adjustment, but Ryan demurs, and Case asks why. Ryan: "I'm like the Lord of the fuckin' Dance. I got moves." Dude, I didn't name you Mickey O'Velli for nothing, okay? Case, no dummy, points out that Ryan was the only Riot Council member who had "no firepower" behind him. Ryan denies involvement in the riot, but Case pointedly says that he heard Ryan and Ross were close. Don't go there, Case, not with the hygiene problem and all. Case doesn't listen to me and explicitly says that Ross told Pete that he and Ryan were lovers. Ryan, not realizing he's being played, blurts, "I'm no fag, pal." Okay, Ryan, we'll play it your way. After all, you're not as gay as the guy sucking your dick, right? He goes on, "But if I were, I wouldn't put my dick anywhere near Ross's scumhole. That cocksucker'd fuck anything on two or four legs." Wow. Proper use of the subjunctive in an outburst containing the words "fuck," "cocksucker," "dick," and "scumhole." We are truly meant to be together, Ryan. Case gets to his point, which is to ask if Ross ever had sex with a hack, and I think it would be hilarious to find out that he was sleeping with D'Agnasti or someone, but no. Ryan asks for help getting out of solitary. When denied, he asks for a cigarette, which Case plot-devicedly provides. Ryan: "This is good. When I'm done puffin' on this, I can suck on my own secondhand smoke." Um. Do not set me up like that. I already told you that, Fontana. Ryan gives up the dirt that Ross and Diane knew each other on the outside, and that they spent a lot of time together. Not looking good for Diane, who's visiting McManus and complaining that Case gives her the creeps. McManus assures her that there's nothing to worry about, right? Diane answers yes, in much the same way that a mother might if her sick daughter asked if she could have a pony.