Episode Report Card Niki: B+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Taking Sides
By Niki | Season 3 | Episode 11 | Aired on 01.03.2002
Janine closes the door to Karen's office just as Karen takes a breath, turns, and says, "Janine, the woman he's with now is far past twenty, and they just met." Janine asks if Karen has seen her, and then crosses her arms, sighing, "Oh, my god. How old is she?" Karen sits down and quietly says, "She's in her thirties, and she's not a bimbo or anything, trust me." "You know her?" Janine asks incredulously. Karen can't meet her eyes, but says yes. Janine asks how well Karen knows her. Karen admits that she's a friend. Janine blinks back tears and angrily shakes her head, whispering, "God, Karen!" She turns and storms to the door, and Karen rushes after her, assuring her that the other woman is a very nice person. "Who screwed a married man!" Janine spits, veins popping. Karen promises her that Judy and Sam just met recently, and that Judy would never sleep with a married man. Janine throws up her hands and shrills that she doesn't want to hear how happy Sam is now. "I couldn't get out of bed for two weeks, that's how sick I was. My eleven-year-old son was cleaning up my vomit! That's what Sam did to us!" she shrieks. Karen softly stammers that she doesn't want to get in the middle of it, and Janine snaps, "Then don't!" She snatches the business card out of Karen's hand and studies the attorney's name. "Is she a killer? That's all I want to know," she says. Karen puts a calming hand on Janine's arm and says, "Janine, are you sure --" "Don't even start getting rational with me!" Janine squeals. A drop of blood appears in Karen's ear as her tympanum bursts. Okay, Janine needs to eat a sandwich, and then she needs to pop a tranquilizer. A horse tranquilizer. Not that Sam isn't an ass, and not that he doesn't deserve to be raked on the coals for being such a pig. Let's just say they're both annoying and move on, shall we?
Ah, back to Soliloquy Beach, where the squawking of shithawks is a welcome reprieve from Janine's squawking. Laughing, Sam and Rick mention that Karen decided to go swimming alone. In case we missed it the first fifty freaking times they mentioned it. I'm starting to think Soliloquy Beach should be renamed Echo Beach. Rick adds a new tidbit of information: Karen somehow overlooked the warning flag that meant there was a riptide. Karen insists there wasn't a flag posted, looking beseechingly into the camera as if begging us not to believe that she's an idiot. Given her accusers, I don't need much convincing.
Cut to Rick's office, where Sam's perched on his desk, inhaling a burger and smacking his lips as he begs for more space between a couple of columns in the hotel. Rick flatly denies him. Sam mumbles that Rick is just mad because he "forgot [his] curly fries." Somehow, I don't think that's it. "How's Melissa?" Rick snaps. A-ha! "A-ha!" Sam echoes. Rick mockingly asks if they got a lot of work done, and Sam hops off the desk, saying that they did. "And?" Rick wheedles. Sam insists there is no "and"; they had dinner, worked, and "that was basically all." Rick is still dubious, repeating, "'Basically'?" Sam says he's not saying there isn't a possibility something more won't happen, but that so far it hasn't, and if it does, it's "none of [Rick's] damn business." "Except that I had to lie for you in the process," Rick grits. Sam hangs his head, knowing there's no denying that one. He says he's sorry Rick ended up in that position, but that he didn't want to hurt Judy's feelings. "Even though you two are no longer a couple, and theoretically it's perfectly all right to see whoever you want?" Rick asks. Sam cocks his head. "I'm sorry: what did you say?" he asks.