Episode Report Card Owen: D | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT The Devil's Music
By Owen | Season 2 | Episode 4 | Aired on 10.20.1999
Since we have time left over, and Warner Brothers CDs to sell, the last five minutes of the show consist of the following scenes: Dishwalla screeching out protest rock as blondes writhe in front of the stage. A group shot of the Ps allegedly watching and enjoying the band. Alyssa Milano showing off her caps, woo-hooing and clapping her hands above her head in a shameless audition for the lead role in the direct-to-video sequel Another Other Sister. Shannen Doherty, hands on hips, realizing that although she left 90210 before the dawn of the After Dark it was really all for naught, and damning karma. Holly Marie Combs gritting her teeth in the semblance of a smile, mortified that her Picket Fences castmates might actually see this. These vignettes are repeated, in sequence, forty-three times.
P3AD. People are still lined up outside. Get. Lives.
Halliwell Manor. The next day. Sunroom. Piper in pigtails, writing checks. The lazy Ps bound into the room, both sporting boudoir hair and camisole tops. They sit their asses down (natch). Phoebe wonders if they should thank Leo for making P3 solvent. Piper gives her the stink-eye. Then she gives the lazy Ps grief about scheming behind her back with Mr. Gotrocks. She found out because the bank called, notifying her that Mr. G withdrew his offer to pick up the loan. The Ps explain that they were just trying to help, and "didn't expect an expert double-cross." Piper, cutting them far more slack than she did poor Leo, forgives them immediately for their deceit. Prue apologizes. Phoebe, making this weird mea-culpa open palm gesture, baby-voices, "Wee-ah thorreee!" Oy. Piper blathers on about her epiphany that "personal relationships and business don't mix well." Doorbell. Piper (natch) gets it. Don't get up, lazy Ps!
Foyer. It's Leo, come to pick up some hard cheese. Unlike Dan, he owns and wears undershirts. Piper tells him that she got Jenny home safe. Leo adds that Dan doesn't know she was at the club, and Jenny doesn't remember anything. Piper: "You erase memories now?" Leo: "I make pain go away." Yippee! Jenny must have disappeared altogether! Leo tells Piper that Masselin's other victims will be fine. He changes the subject to ask Piper if she meant what she said last season -- that she loves him. She does. Does she still mean it? She does. Does she send Leo down the road anyway? She does, but in an indefinite, ratings pumping way that will allow them to break up some more (tm xix) for the rest of the season. Leo hears his pager tinkle and blue lights away. Piper goes out on the porch to pout. She spots Dan getting his mail. They wave at each other. He goes into Gordon Manor. She gives him another quick glance. What could that possibly mean?