Episode Report Card Gustave: C | 0 USERS: N/A YOU GRADE IT Kiefer un-klad
By Gustave | Season 2 | Episode 19 | Aired on 2003.04.15
The time is 2:25:16 AM. Yet another warning of graphic violence appears. Klockwise from the top left, Cate sits in deep thought in the Kiefmobile, PMHC makes a phone call, and PMAA paces the parking lot. At division, PMHC is informing what I assume is someone from the Defense Department that Palmer isn't going through with the attack. Rolaide enters, they both bitch about the "blowback" from Palmer's change of heart. Rolaide asks PMHC if he knows anything about a meeting that the Vice President called with the cabinet for the end of the next episode…I mean, "in an hour and a half." PMHC asks what the agenda for the meeting is. Rolaide replies that she doesn't know, because she wasn't invited. She only heard about it secondhand. "Do you think it could have anything to do with the President calling off the military strikes?" asks PMHC. "What else could it be?" says Rolaide. PMHC asks if she's told Palmer. Rolaide says that she didn't, because it could turn out to be just a rumor, but asks PMHC to keep her posted if he hears anything.
And now the moment we've all been waiting for and warned against: naked Kiefer. Kiefer lies on the floor of Doc In The Box puking his guts out while José, Luis, and Slam go over his vomit with a metal detector. Wow, I'm so turned on! Meanwhile, a strategically placed arm with a gun blocks our view of his naked butt. Meanwhile, TeutonicTerrorDude unfurls a sleeve full of sinister-looking instruments. And when I say "sinister," I don't mean "fun, sexy 'n' sinister." I mean sinister. We're talking the kind of porn you have to fly down to South America to see because the people who are performing in it are political prisoners. Now, when I saw last week's previews and saw that Kiefer was going to be naked and tortured, I was totally excited. I had no idea that they were going to actually show, um, torture. I thought they were just going to show "Fox" torture. You know? Like when they have lesbians on Fox, they don't show gray-haired, crew-cutted gym teachers wearing flannel shirts -- they show Tiffani-Amber and Mia Kirshner? I was thinking Kiefer would be bound and gagged, and they'd play with his nipples until he got really sweaty. I didn't think it would be so hardcore.