Episode Report Card Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT A Hero Ain't Nothing But A Sandwich
By Keckler | Season 1 | Episode 23 | Aired on 05.07.2002
Bridge. May-Horton-Hears-A-Who reports that they've entered orbit around Mazar, and Hoshi picks up a hail from the Mazarite High Council. I wonder how they're going to show that this culture isn't allowed to cut their hair, drink wine, or be defiled by the presence of a corpse. Wait, I think I'm thinking of the Nazarites. From the Bible. A Mazarite appears on the viewscreen and asks if they're ready to sign for the delivery of one Vulcan Ambassador. Quantum tells him to send their landing coordinates and they'll be right down. He adds that they're looking forward to visiting with the Mazarites. The High Counselor tells him there's no time for larking about on their planet; V'Lar is already on her way to Enterprise. That's Mayweather's cue to report the sudden approach of a "small craft." Quantum doesn't understand what all the haste is about. "V'Lar has been expelled for abuse of her position and criminal misconduct," High Counselor tells him. Quantum lobs a look in T'Pol's direction.
Corridor. The airlock doors open and V'Lar -- a grey-haired Vulcan of matronly proportions -- steps aboard and greets Quantum. Quantum welcomes her. V'Lar thanks him and sticks out her hand. T'Pol looks surprised, and Quantum awkwardly shakes her hand. Quantum pins on The Furrowed Brow Of Conflicting Information and takes the Ambassador's overnight bag before passing out introductions. V'Lar does the same awkward hand-shaking with Trip, and T'Pol says a few words in their shared tongue. V'Lar tongues a few words back but then says she wants to practice her English. With all the brow-furrowing currently taking place on Quantum's face, he's going to need Botox injections every hour for the rest of his life when this series is over.
Captain's Table. Quantum hopes V'Lar approves of her cabin, mentioning that T'Pol took great pains to cater to her habits. "Fortunately, my needs are few, Captain," V'Lar says. "I am curious, though. Who previously occupied the cabin?" T'Pol immediately says, "The odor. The human scent is difficult to mask." V'Lar says she just wanted the opportunity to thank the crewmember who graciously vacated the premises for her. "I prefer not to inconvenience anyone if possible. That philosophy has served me well in the diplomatic service," V'Lar explains. "T'Pol tells me you negotiated the first territorial accords between Vulcan and Andoria," Quantum says. Yeah, those lasted long. In a non-sequitur, V'Lar says, "The Andorians required a somewhat firmer hand at the negotiating table. But I was younger then. That was before we even made contact with Earth." Trip notes, "That was over ninety years ago," and asks how long she's been a diplomat. "Commander Tucker, I understood that on your world it's considered bad manners to ask a lady her age," V'Lar says mock-protestingly. Trip stumbles over his lips, trying to apologize, until V'Lar puts him at ease by saying she was only flirting -- I mean, "teasing." Trip's relieved, and V'Lar says, "Suffice it to say that between T'Pol and myself here, you are almost certainly dining with the two oldest people on this ship." Trip grins at T'Pol, who ignores him and says, "I hope, Ambassador, that you regard the charges against you with less levity." V'Lar says of course she does, and T'Pol asks how she intends to defend herself. "There is no defense," V'Lar states. "Are you saying you're guilty?" T'Pol demands. Quantum tries to shush her, but V'Lar stops him and says, "A person in my position carries the trust of all Vulcans. The fact that the Mazarites believe that trust has been compromised justifies T'Pol's concern." T'Pol looks down at her plate as Quantum and Trip stare at her. V'Lar asks Quantum's permission to be excused. Trip and Quantum rise from the table as she gets up. Belatedly, T'Pol rises as well, and V'Lar looks her straight in the eye before leaving the room. T'Pol follows.