Episode Report Card Jacob Clifton: A+ | 66 USERS: A YOU GRADE IT Piste Off, Or: The Cold Never Bothered Me Anyway
By Jacob Clifton | Season 4 | Episode 20 | Aired on 02.18.2014
OPERATION PISTE OFF
Aria screams her head off on that ski-lift and Ezra tries to chill her out. Guess what, she is not chilling out. It's Aria and this is the first thing that has ever happened to her, and then on top of that, this is legitimately horrible. Even though she totally did it to herself.
Ezra, shaking: "I wanted to tell you so many times but I was afraid..."
Aria: "I don't wanna hear this! But keep talking. Nothing you can say will change anything! But say it just in case."
Ezra: "What is it you think I am up to?"
Aria: "You knocked up my friend and killed her and now you're torturing my..."
Ezra: "No! Way less creepy than that."
Aria: "...Really?"
Ezra: "Moderately."
"I met Alison in college. She lied about her age, and I believed her... I never hurt Alison. I was writing a book about her. A true crime book. When I saw in the papers that she had gone missing, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had to get to the bottom of the story."
Um, what? So you statutory raped this child and then she was murdered, and your first thought was, "I should get very involved in this situation. That won't be weird at all." Visions of Dick Hickock and Perry Smith dancing through your head. Ew and that makes Aria the Perry Smith. Good Lord, Fitz.
Q: "Did you know who I was when we met?"
A: "Uh yeah, obviously I knew who all of you were. She kept you as pets and obsessively wrote down all of your secrets."
Q: "And so you came to Rosewood High so you could spy on us?"
A: "Essentially."
Q: "But first you decided to hook up with me in a bar bathroom and act like you didn't know how old I was? That would make this less cool, not more cool. Surely you can see that. That makes us not simply rape by statute but full-on child molestation."
A: "I saw an advantage, I took it."
Q: "That's what I'm saying, freak."
A: "No, I mean the advantage to quote be a good reporter... the guy that would do anything for the story."
Q: "Including fuck a child. That's your alibi. That's how you prove your trustworthiness."
A: "But I really love you. And you really love me! So it worked out."
Q: "That's true. It did work out."
He goes on to explain that once he was full-on in love with her still-growing self, he put aside his obsessive research into the previous child he was sleeping with, because I guess he has respect. And then sometimes when they would break up, he would get back into it. In a big way, I suppose, since he rented an entire apartment in another town and also has a secret cabal of paparazzi tailing all of them.