Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hong Kong Phooey
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.22.2011
OR ELSE.Erica is in her hotel room when Jack Skypes her. It's time for a meeting! Erica, Chad Decker, Jack, Kyle and Sid (remember Sid?) all brainstorm for five minutes. Chad reports that Anna doesn't need any more participants for the Live Aboard Program. Erica thinks this means that Anna has whatever she needs, but she doesn't know what. She tells Chad to contact Lisa and get the information from her. Chad can't believe that Lisa is working against her own mother. A daughter who rebels? How odd. Must be a species thing. Sid reports that he reached out to the global scientific community (read: surfed the web in his jammies) and found a few mentions of other boys with missing DNA, but they all died in infancy. Jack has nothing to report, but he's generally useless anyway. I mean, who brings a priest to a terrorist organization?
Meeting adjourned, Erica heads out to a local Thai restaurant with Kyle and Fierro. There are a lot of great ones in Vancouver. She asks Fierro what he knows about the death of Cohen's son. Fierro knows a lot, which sure is helpful. He explains that there were a bunch of little boys who died 18 years ago and all their mothers had preeclampsia and they were all treated by the same doctor Erica used. So the OB/Gyn is to blame? And she traveled the world 18 years ago racking up air miles and administering care to pregnant women in 29 cities across the globe? Awesome storyline. Totally believable. Erica claims she looked everywhere to track down her doctor, but couldn't find her, but Fierro had better luck. He thinks she is in Hong Kong. Erica is already out the door.
Back on the ship, Anna asks Joshua to go spy on her daughter. She thinks Lisa may have developed feelings, and she is concerned that Lisa will start listening to Wayne Newton or something worse. She orders Joshua to go tell Lisa that he is regaining his memory and is starting to remember human emotions. He is to report back Lisa's response.
Meanwhile, Lisa is off to visit grandma Diana, who is a tetch offended that it took Lisa a week to decide to trust her. Lisa claims it is all her mother's fault, obviously. Then she tells grandma that her mom made her hook up with this one guy, Tyler, but now she wants her to hook up with another guy. Why? Ahem, "It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp". Diana point blank asks her if she is having feelings for him, but Lisa doesn't trust grandma enough to reply with anything other than, "Our species does not have human emotions." Grandma doesn't buy that though and tells Lisa to embrace her emotions and love them and squeeze them and cherish them except, you know, when around her mother. Anna can never ever know that Lisa has feelings. That means that Lisa needs to "entertain" Rafael the Spanish Savior or else Anna might know something's up. Sorry, Lisa, you're a ho-bag. Just embrace it. And, seriously? There is no way Rafael is worse than Tyler and you totally bedded that chucklehead.
Chad Decker has come on board the mothership and instantly corners Lisa and demands intel from her. Subtle much? Chad tells her that Erica Evans said she could help him. Lisa pretends she has no idea what he's talking about, but like a good journalist he persists. He explains that he needs to know what the Visitors are doing with the Live Aboards. Lives depend on it. Lisa shakes him off, but heads straight to the lab where they tortured the Live Aboards and starts looking things up on the computer. Joshua sees her and watches from a hiding place. When she is finished, he approaches her with Anna's test. He tells her that he is regaining memories and feelings and remembered that he used to talk to her about emotions and Terms of Endearment and Louis CK shows and Toy Story 3. Lisa stares at him blankly and tells him he is incorrect and he should go take some Ginkgo or something. He apologizes and bows his head in shame.
In a section of Hong Kong known as Vancouver, Kyle makes some derogatory comment about cops and doughnuts that everyone rightly ignores. The Hong Kong cop who has tracked Erica's OB/Gyn gives Erica a photo of the woman to confirm identity. Then he explains that she is living in a highly secure building with police on call. He can get them in, but can't shut down the system. Fierro exclaims, "I can! It's my specialty. Well..." He stops and stares at Erica over the top of his sunglasses, "One of my specialties." Really, Fierro? You've had a lady boss for one day and you're already hitting on her? Is life as a human rights activist (think about it) that lonely?
Erica gives him a wan smile and turns back to the conversation. Erica instructs the cop to get them into the building and they will take care of the rest. Cue the mobile van with 12 computers and Fierro hacking away at the security system while Kyle beats up the doorman and Erica stands around staring at her nails. Fierro succeeds and Erica and Kyle have 15 minutes to get the job done. Obviously they take the stairs. Never hurts to work in a little exercise! Kyle knocks on the door of a fancy apartment and Kyle, in the doorman's uniform, speaks fluent, if slightly stilted, Chinese. The woman who peers through the peephole doesn't seem surprised to find a white guy speaking bad Chinese in a too-small doorman's uniform asking her to open the door for a heating inspection or some veiled excuse. She argues for a minute and then opens the door to a world of hurt in the form of Erica Evans. Erica holds a gun to the woman's head and demands she tell her what she did to her son to make him such a douche. Yeah, sure, blame the doctor. I mean, if you could blame the doctor that would be one hell of a malpractice suit. The doctor pretends she has no idea who or what Erica is talking about, so Erica pins her on the table and cuts a V in the back of ear. Yep, she's a Visitor. The woman starts hissing as Erica demands she open her safe. So... wait, this is a robbery not an interrogation? The woman points Erica to a safe in her closet, but Kyle knows that's a dummy and quickly finds the real safe. The woman then knocks the gun out of Erica's so-called professional grasp and throws herself off the balcony where she commences to fall in slow motion for a solid five minutes while Erica screams, "Nooooooooooooooo". Then the woman gets around to taking her suicide pill and incinerates herself, contributing to Hong Kong's air pollution problem.
Erica and Kyle recover quickly and bust a move to get the safe out. For some reason the cops are on their way even though the woman didn't go kersplat. Kyle MacGyvers some explosives to the safe while Erica holds the flashlight. Then they have a moment. Like, a moment moment, which is weird and out of place and with Kyle *shudder* although he does wear really tight pants so at least she would know what she is getting. They stare into each other's eyes and look like they're about to smooch when Erica bolts and Kyle opens the door of the safe. They grab the contents of the safe and bolt. What is with the hormones Erica is emitting? Is she ovulating or something? Darn it, she should have asked her OB/Gyn!
Father Jack is on the corner of Gore Ave., which is a street that does not exist in New York City despite the many taxis in the background trying to make us think we are there. It's all dirty lies! Anyway, Father Jack is rounding a corner from a non-existent street when he is grabbed by a tree!! Oh it's not a tree; it's Ryan Nichols camouflaging himself as a tree. He's alive! And an expert at camouflage apparently. So yes, somehow Ryan Nichols escaped the bomb blast that killed absolutely everyone else in a five-block radius and all he got was a black eye, although that may have been from Eli Cohen's crew. I mean, what? Jack is stunned to see him and even more stunned when Ryan asks him for help freeing his baby girl-like t