Episode Report Card LuluBates: A+ | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Hong Kong Phooey
By LuluBates | Season 2 | Episode 7 | Aired on 02.22.2011
hing from Anna's evil clutches. Jack reminds him that he betrayed them and Erica's ex-husband is dead because of his alliance with Anna. If he had told them the truth none of that would have happened. I still don't quite get that particular claim. I mean, Ryan didn't know Erica was at Eli Cohen's house or that Anna was gonna blow the joint up. And everyone knew Anna had his daughter, but no one seemed to particularly care. Anyway, Jack isn't a priest any more (also Ryan's fault?) so he doesn't have to forgive him if he doesn't want to. Ryan begs for a second chance and a little help, but Jack's not interested. He says good day, sir.Fierro, Erica, Kyle, and the Hong Kong cop head to the local Ramada conference room to start examining the evidence they took out of the Ob/Gyn's safe. Erica quickly realizes that there are 29 boys across the globe that have also had their DNA tampered with by the Visitors. Clearly this means 28 of those boys are less annoying than Tyler. The Visitors have probably realized this too, so Erica knows that Tyler's life is at risk. Fierro and the cop exchange glances that clearly say, "Did we accidentally sign up for some Mama Lion revenge trip?" Kyle, however, realizes that Erica is vulnerable and goes to comfort her because apparently that's where their relationship is now. After Kyle and Erica finish... um, bonding? The cop calls them over to look at a pill bottle he found in the safe. Without opening the bottle Erica explains that they are pre-natal vitamins she took while she was pregnant with Tyler. But why would those be in a safe? Kyle takes one of the pills and opens it to answer that very question. He uses a knife and out spill a bazillion nightmarish little metallic bugs that scrabble over the table and disappear. I think it's what they used on Georgie? And if Erica has those inside her via the prenatal tabs, well Kyle is never going to hit that. I mean, that's the STD from hell, right?
While Kyle was off hitting on his girl (I mean, right?) Jack has set up shop in the basement. And he's brought another roommate too. That roommate? Jesus Christ on a cross. Kyle is very disappointed. He really hopes that Jack will keep his little companion on his side of the line. After years spent in the priesthood, Jack can't help but start proselytizing and reciting lines of Footprints and Kyle has his hand on his gun when Erica calls. They're needed. Both of them. (Dirty.)
Chad Decker is getting fluffed before he goes on the air when his phone rings. It's Lisa. Specifically it's the courtesy call before she faxes him the information she found on the Live Aboard Program. Actually, I have no idea why she called. Why didn't she just send it? Whatever, she's pretty, I don't mind if she's on my television screen.
Erica has gathered the troops at Sid's lab. He has analyzed the little buggers that were in Erica's prenatal pills and realized they are meant to attack the DNA of anything with a Y chromosome, in short: boys. (For those of us too busy carving the Def Leppard logo into our desks to pay attention in biology.) The girl babies and their pregnant moms with their X chromosomes were unaffected. Jack sums up the story so far: We know what the Vs did and how they did it, but they don't know why. Chad Decker comes in with the answer. Lisa sent him the files from the Live Aboards and Chad has realized that the participants were not selected randomly, but rather they all had unique and desirable genetic traits. The Visitors are hand-selecting the traits they want with the likely plan of embedding them into the empty DNA of the 29 boys they targeted. Sid the Science Kid can't help but declare, "SWEET!" which just makes me like him more. Can we have more Sid please? He's the only character I believe, except that he is way too young to have the skill set and degrees he is meant to have acquired. He apologizes for his science geeking out and hastens to explain. The new information helps him understand the DNA he took from the fossilized Visitor in his lab. The DNA is a hundred times more complex than human DNA. Then Malick's DNA is a thousand times more complex. Evolutionarily speaking that should have taken hundreds of years. Kyle begs him to speak more slowly. Sid tries to explain in terms that Kyle can understand: The Visitors didn't kill all humans, because they need us. Erica jumps in because she gets it: The Visitors are using human DNA to fast track their own evolution. OooooOOoooooooOohh ominous. If I was smart enough to figure out exactly how that is ominous.
Joshua comes to tell Anna that Lisa mostly passed his test. Anna thinks Lisa in turn may be testing him. Joshua agrees, because he saw Lisa looking at some files, but he doesn't know what files. Is this at all interesting to anyone? No?
Moving right along: It's evening and the lights are low, the drinks are flowing, Barry White is playing quietly over the PA on the mothership. Lisa walks into her chambers and a tall dark stranger is waiting in her room. While a tall dark stranger lying in wait sounds frightening, in this instance it's romantic. The stranger has a rose in his hand and turns to ask if she's Lisa. She smiles at the stranger who can only be Rafael. Adding to the creepiness, Anna is watching the whole scene unfold with a little half-smile on her face. Lisa throws herself into Rafael's arms and they kiss passionately. But then Lisa pulls back. She just can't do this. She loves Tyler too much? CHOICES, girl! She pushes Rafael away, apologizing, and runs out of the room knowing that Anna is going to be displeased.
Later Lisa sits in her room alone staring at the photo of her and Tyler. Anna comes in demanding to know why Lisa sent Rafael away. Where did she get such bad taste in men? Lisa stands up and faces her mother/pimp. She is tired of being told what to do with no explanation. She and Anna glare at each other and Anna asks her if she wants to hit her. Lisa says yes, but Anna hits her first. Lisa fights back and delivers her mother a knuckle sandwich. Anna squares her shoulders, genteelly bleeding from the mouth. Lisa apologizes, and Anna accepts it explaining that it's Lisa's breeding hormones making her aggressive and Queen-like. Lisa nods meekly and that's when Anna attacks, grabbing her face and squishing it all out of shape and reminding her that she is NOT queen yet. Pretty sure this scene was taken from a deleted scene in Snow White.
Obviously Anna is not happy so some angry marching ensues. She storms down the hallway to ask Joshua how they can proceed with interbreeding without Lisa. He tells her that they can't. Lisa is important. Anna does not accept this answer and reveals to Joshua her backup plan. It's a pink blob. A very important pink blob. If Lisa won't do what her mother says, this disgusting blobby thing that looks like a brain married a half-formed beta unit (which I realize is a reference to The Last Starfighter that only my brother would get, but there you go) and then they had a baby with a goiter and it was removed and then they donated the goiter for display in a Museum of Gross. It is the last egg from Anna's queen clutch, which sounds like a purse, but is probably more of a chicken hatchery thing. She had it preserved and it is the last last hope of V kind. She tells Joshua to hatch it in secret and in a rush. Joshua can do that, but there is one problem: the new baby queen won't be able to reproduce in time to save them all from destruction. Anna tells him to run some more tests on their advanced rapid aging technology (which will not be a big seller on earth). If they can age the new queen then their people will be saved and Lisa will be out of a job. Joshua reminds her that the only person to test the aging technology on is the hybrid and she could die! Anna does not care. I mean, duh, Joshua.
Erica is Skype-ing with some of the Fifth Column lieutenants while her team of Jack, Fierro, and Kyle stand