Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | 119 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT So Near and Yet Safari
By M. Giant | Season 22 | Episode 7 | Aired on 2013.03.31
Meanwhile, Caroline is trying to assure the screaming goats she's captured that she won't hurt them, but they remain unconvinced. She and Jennifer get them into their boat, where they encounter Pam & Winnie just returning. Winnie is threatening to move to Venice and become a gondolier, and the two teams bond across the water over the cuteness of the goats. Meanwhile, Mona is getting increasingly irritated with Beth's ineptitude at poling, and tells her to stand up like the locals are doing. Beth raises herself to her feet, barely keeping her balance in the process. Odd for a derby girl. Remember to fall small!
Pam & Winnie wade ashore and get their next clue, which is a Route Info. They'll take a water taxi downriver to a safari taxi that will take them to the Royal Tree Lodge Game Preserve. Yes, that sounds a lot like what Bates & Anthony are doing, but for now the other teams are only going to their next clue rather than the Pit Stop. Pam & Winnie are soon enjoying their motorboat ride, Winnie saying she feels like she's in an action movie. "Crocodile Dundee, African Edition," Pam says. James Bond must appreciate not always having to be the default comparison when these two are around.
Back on the river, Wynona is about to collide with Mona & Beth's boat. Beth drops back into a crouch as both boats attempt to not tip over. Chuck & Wynona have the nerve to complain in an interview about the derby moms pushing their boat away, like, you came into their space, guys. The immediate crisis over, Mona can now go back to being annoyed with Beth's inability to get them back on what was sort of passing for course.
Caroline is poling the country singers' boat from the front while Jennifer sits in back with the goats, and she interviews how she grew up catching food and practicing jumping off the roof in the event of a fire, so she's loving reliving her childhood on the race. Jennifer admits that she couldn't do it. She probably also couldn't store a flying squirrel in her bra, though.
Max & Katie get to the police station, and now that it's later in the day, there's a line they're going to have to wait in. Just what they needed. Fortunately for them, Joey & Meghan are still lost, getting more directions from more locals and presumably developing a mental collage of Botswana that looks like Apple's Maps upgrade. "I hate driving to places!" Meghan whines. She should have raced last season, then.
Wynona, her shirt soaked with sweat, finally gets herself and Chuck back on the shore and they get their clue, currently in third place. Beth drops off he derby moms' goats and they tensely negotiate getting back into the boat while Caroline carries her goats into the pen, apologizing to them the whole time. She's also better than Beth is at getting back underway, and soon the derby moms are watching them sail down the river while Mona gives Beth some increasingly unfriendly advice, finally declaring, "I'm gonna lose my mind." So we all agree that Mona's a control freak, then?