Episode Report Card M. Giant: B- | 2 USERS: B YOU GRADE IT So Near and Yet Safari
By M. Giant | Season 22 | Episode 7 | Aired on 03.31.2013
Chuck is suggesting that they do Brains, probably because he figures Wynona's physically tapped out for the day already. They strap on pith helmets and start the horseback ride, calling out animals as they go to help each other remember. "You look handsome in your hat up there," Wynona lies. They soon rack up a zebra, a cape buffalo, and an antlered critter that Chuck identifies as a kudu before Wynona decides to make up a song to remember them. "I don't sing like the country girls but I'm singing," she says.
Speaking of whom, Caroline & Jennifer get to the Detour clue in fourth pace and opt for Brawn. So do Beth & Mona when they arrive right behind them. Back at the Roadblock, Joey's not really having much luck with the poling from a kneeling position, so he switches to using the pole like a kayak paddle instead. This works about as well as you might imagine. Max & Katie, apparently having finished the work on their skirts, are ushered into a tiny hut the size of a doghouse for some final preparations that seems to involve getting red greasepaint smeared on their faces. I've often complained that the Speed Bumps are too easy, but at least now this one comes with a highly visible loser-mark.
Pam & Winnie have their sled loaded up, so now all they need to do is get their donkeys moving. Which, in the case of the two lead animals, is not happening. "It's these fricking two asses in the front," Winnie says, trying to push one of them. I wonder how satisfying it is to refer to an animal as an ass when it is in actuality an ass. The country singers and then the derby moms show up before they've made any progress at all, and they're already considering switching Detours. Pam admits in an interview that the sight of other teams makes them flustered. Winnie agrees that they prepared for the race, but not for the pressure and anxiety that comes from, I guess, competition. This all sounds like some retroactive justification for what we see them do next -- which is to basically panic, drop their carrot in the dirt, and go running off as though the donkeys are wired to explode (that's how they did mob hits back in the pioneer days, you know). Caroline is actually getting her donkeys moving with a combination of puling and coaxing, and then Mona's leading her team while Beth pushes from behind. So maybe Pam & Winnie just got broken donkeys. Which is bullshit.
Max & Katie are joining the traditional ass-shaking with the locals, and having a good time despite looking as though their faces are covered with carpet burns. Joey is not, so much, as he's proving unable to keep his boat from spinning in the current. Maybe they should ask someone for directions. After Team Newlywed finishes the Speed Bump, Max decides to do the Roadblock. He interviews, "I saw, 'who wants to be up a creek without a paddle,' it sounded like a familiar place, I've spent some time there. I think I know that creek really well, actually." He carefully guides the boat out past the weeds with a lot of input from Katie, nearly tipping it at one point. "This is a little horrifying," she says. But at least now Max is being the man.