Carla is freaking out because she forgot about a parents' meeting at Izzy's daycare. Somehow she extrapolates this to mean that Izzy will eventually start dating a gangbanger who will shoot Turk in the face. Turk assures her that she's a good mom. Carla claims that saying something so nice will come back to him in a good way. Like sexually?
Turk relates the story to JD, who thinks Carla is referring to "the boudoir," so they high five, chest bump, and then groin bump. Turk says he doesn't like the groin bump so much. None of us did, Turk. JD moves on to the task at hand -- they're standing on the roof and they've lined the interns up in the parking lot below in the formation of Space Invaders. JD and Turk start pelting the interns with water balloons. It's an awesome visual. One intern, Boone, is the mother ship. Turk pelts him with a balloon, and Boone falls and hits his head in the parking lot.
JD and Turk are forced to face their soggy, injured interns, and JD claims that they were teaching them a lesson, to be revealed later. JD overhears Cox telling people they need to be ready for anything the hospital throws at him, so Turk runs off to tell the interns. Cox goes on a rant about an obese patient who had weight-loss surgery but couldn't stop eating. Cox thinks they should pay him to take the food out of their hands. Kelso interrupts to say they're all getting sick of Cox's speeches and he's going to start playing the award show music to get Cox to shut up. Cox thinks he might try his "snatch from the hand" diet plan on Kelso, now that Kelso has free muffins for life.
This whole vignette is interrupted by a burn patient coming in, and JD voiceovers that some burns are so bad, they all take a second look. JD promises a patient named Emery that they'll take good care of him. After credits, JD tells Emery that his skin grafts are looking great, and he should be in rehab in a few weeks. Emery wants out earlier than that so he can attend his high school graduation and JD promises to help.
In the coffee shop, Carla and Turk talk about their anniversary, and what gifts they got for each other. Carla leaves, and Turk tells the guys that he learned Spanish for Carla. Janitor butts in and says that he got Lady the gift of helping her overcome her fear of the unknown. He doesn't give details and we don't want them. At least I don't. Kelso: "Women are like crows. They like shiny things. Classy stuff they can wear in their ears, around their necks, through their nipples." Janitor: "Crows have nipples?" There's nothing funnier than a good unclear antecedent joke.
JD thinks Turk's gift is great, because now they can talk to the day laborers across the street. JD imagines them going over and saying hello, and a guy in a white suit comes out and says that, for using basic human kindness and compassion, they have earned a trip to a magical place called Amigoville. They end up in a park, filled with family, giant churros, a guacamole-filled lake, and twin Carlas who want to give Turk a massage. And then JD gets kicked out for not speaking Spanish.
Lloyd, the UPS guy, is not Lloyd the ambulance driver. And he still drives around and plays air drums. JD comes up and asks Elliott for advice on Emery going to his high school graduation. Elliott talks about her valedictory address in high school, where she accidentally read one of her mom's love letters to the pool boy, and ended up talking about "throbbing members." I could watch a whole show about Elliott's effed up childhood. Elliott advises JD not to get Emery's hopes up, so JD immediately goes in and tells Emery that he'll definitely be going to the graduation. Oops.
Elliott comes over to babysit Izzy so that Carla and Turk can have their anniversary dinner. Or "brinner" as Turk calls it -- his new obsession is breakfast for dinner. Carla gets a phone call, so Turk secretly hands over a list of things he does for Izzy that Carla doesn't know about, like sleeping in her crib with her, and giving her sugary juice. Elliott is psyched that she and Turk can break Carla's stringent rules. Elliott leaves and Carla speaks in Spanish on the phone, complaining that she'd cook brinner if Turk would clean the apartment once in a while. Turk gets all that, because he knows Spanish now, and he speed-cleans the apartment. Carla, since she doesn't know about Turk's new language capabilities, is thrilled. And confused.
Elliott brings Izzy to the hospital to pick up a stroller. She overhears JD telling a nurse to get Emery a cap and gown. Elliott is pissed that JD asked her advice when he didn't intend to follow it. JD says he really just wanted someone to back up his own plan, which is what anyone wants when they ask advice, and Elliott is annoyed.
Turk and Carla finish up brinner and Carla wants to do presents. Her present is a sexy outfit for Turk, but he doesn't think it beats brinner. Turk doesn't want to admit that he knows Spanish yet, so he says that he'll buy Carla something at the jewelry store.
Back at the hospital, Dr. Cox tells JD that Emery's leg is infected and he can't attend his graduation. Meanwhile, Emery is trying on his mortarboard. Oops.
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Dr. Cox asks Turk how his gift went over. Turk admits he hasn't told Carla about the Spanish yet, because it feels like a secret power, but now he feels like he's spying on her, so he has to come clean. Kelso says that he reads his wife's e-mail, and Cox says that he reads Jordan's journal. Turk says that something he overheard Carla saying caused him to wear deodorant when he works out, so everybody wins.
JD doesn't know how to tell Emery he can't leave, especially since Emery has now written a song called "I'm Going to Graduation (The Graduation Song)." Elliott thinks they can still get him to graduation if they have some help.
Turk pisses Cox off, so Cox tells Carla (in Spanish) that Turk thinks she is an overbearing control freak with Izzy. Turk gives away his power when he responds to it, and Carla realizes that he understands Spanish. She's...not happy.
Elliott and JD get help from Turk and Carla, as well as Lloyd, to take Emery to his graduation. In the ambulance, Turk admits that he should have told Carla that he knew Spanish. She immediately forgives him, and explains that she told him the other day that his good deeds would come back to him. So this is it. Plus, it turns out that Carla is kind of turned on when Turk speaks Spanish.
JD takes out Emery's IV and promises his morphine will kick in soon. The announcer calls Emery's name, as Elliott, JD, and Carla look on. Except that Emery passes out from pain before he can make it across the stage. Oops.
Later, JD asks Elliott why she helped him when she was mad at him earlier. Elliott says they always help each other out, but JD says that only happens when they've both single. They agree to continue being good friends, even if they're in relationships, unless they're dating someone really hot. Or fugly, but easy.
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