Episode Report Card Niki: A | Grade It Now! YOU GRADE IT Go Greyhound
By Niki | Season 2 | Episode 21 | Aired on 04.24.2001
Out in the foyer, Grace asks whether Wannabe may stay over. Lily immediately ixnays that one, and she hoists Wannabe's bag off the banister for emphasis. Grace says she knows it's a school night, and she wouldn't ask if it weren't important. Grace confides that "there's some kind of weirdness going on at [Wannabe's] house, and she needs a place to stay." Lily asks whether Wannabe's parents know where she is. Grace says she doesn't think they care. I think we're supposed to feel sympathetic toward Wannabe here, but I can't help identifying with the parents. I'm a monster, aren't I? Grace turns the screws, saying that Wannabe would "sleep on the street," and Grace doesn't want her doing that. Lily rolls her eyes and relents, succumbing to the guilt trip. She adds that she's going to call Wannabe's parents, though, to let them know that she's okay. Grace quickly says that would make things worse, and promises that Wannabe will call them herself.
Rick and Eli burst through the front door as Grace and Lily head back toward the living room. Rick is staggering under the weight of a television set, and he asks where Lily wants it. "How 'bout the attic?" she suggests. He's not so hot on that idea. The floor in the foyer is much more appealing. Judy gives Rick a kiss on the cheek as she heads for the door with the dresses slung over her arm. She turns to Eli, jokingly asking whether he needs anything hemmed. Eli declines, and Judy promises she'll be "back in a jiff." Lily calls out, "Thanks for saving me!" and Judy adds, "Again!" as she closes the door behind herself. Jessie runs out of the living room and throws herself into Rick's arms to say hello. He asks who's hungry, and everyone agrees that they're starving. "Pizza for six?" he asks. "Hey Rick," comes Wannabe's voice from the top of the stairs. "Actually, seven," Lily says with a smile as Wannabe heads down to join them. She stops halfway down as Eli climbs on the bench -- in his boots -- to give her a kiss over the railing. And it's not just a little hello peck. It's a full-on, groping, open-mouthed kiss. Which is really thoughtless on two counts: first, there are children and parents present, and second, people were just preparing to eat. "That's interesting," Zoe mutters with disdain. Jessie sensibly turns her back with an eye roll (I hope the cast practiced their eye-muscle exercises, too, with all the rolling going on), and covers Zoe's eyes. Lily and Rick exchange a look.
As everyone eats, Lily's trying to work out the kinks in the seating arrangements for the wedding. She asks if they could put Rick's mother next to the Unitarian minister. Zoe asks what "Unitarian" means, and Grace explains, "It's like every religion." Zoe pipes up that she thought they were having a rabbi. "That's progressive," Wannabe snurfs around her mouthful of pizza. She's disgusting when she eats. ["You could have stopped after 'disgusting.'" -- Wing Chun] Zoe glares at her. Rick suggests putting his mother between the rabbi and the minister. "That way I'll be safe," he adds. "From who?" Lily demands. Rick looks at her and abruptly says, "More pizza, anybody?" I have no idea what that little exchange was about. The stray known as Wannabe throws up her hand and then holds it out eagerly. She says, "This is so fun. My family has never eaten in the dining room. Not once." Oh, boo hoo. Rick and Lily study her for a moment. Wannabe turns to Eli and blurts that she found out that all they have to do to get courier tickets is get bonded. Eli "heh"s uncomfortably as Rick pauses with his glass (of soda!) halfway to his mouth. Lily asks why they need courier tickets. Eli stammers that they "were thinking about going to Europe this summer." Wannabe explains that, as couriers, they'd carry someone's "priceless antiques" to Europe, and the person would pay for their tickets. Wouldn't you rest easy with these two moes transporting your "priceless antiques"? Jessie jealously asks where they would stay. Wannabe's revved up now, and rambles that they'd sleep "anywhere -- youth hostels, camping." She relates that in Sweden people will let you camp on their lawns. Rick stares at her with ill-concealed distrust. Grace enthuses that they'll have "the best time." Rick asks whether Eli thinks he should wait to see if he got into Champaign before making plans. Eli stares at his plate and breaks the news that he has heard: he didn't get in. Rick makes his patented guppy face. Wannabe noisily munches between them. Rick asks when he heard. Eli admits, "Today." Jessie watches the tension between them, then sadly looks at her plate. I doubt she'll be having more pizza. Rick asks why Eli didn't tell him sooner. Eli says it wasn't good news. Grace occupies herself with her glass of soda. Zoe fidgets and plays with her fork. Jessie and Lily stare off, uncomfortably. Wannabe slurps on, unconcerned. Rick glances at Lily and tries to muster a positive thing to say. He manages, "Well, [Champaign] is a hard school to get into. And we're still waiting to hear from State, though, right?" Wrong. Heh. Eli didn't, um, apply to State. Rick doesn't understand: they filled out the applications. Eli confesses that he didn't send them in. Everyone wishes they were anywhere but here. Jessie studies the ceiling, Zoe studies her, and Lily anxiously watches the volley between the two men. Eli says he didn't want to go to State. Rick insists that it's a good school. Wannabe now has her arm across the back of Eli's chair. Eli glances at her and says he figured that if he didn't get into Champaign, he'd "take a year off to figure things out." More like, he figured he'd sabotage his chances of getting into college so he wouldn't have to go. Rick asks what Eli intends to do. Besides play his guitar and bang his girlfriend? Gee, he hasn't given it much thought. "I don't know, travel?" Eli says. Wannabe jumps in to tell Rick that sometimes it's good to take some time off to clear your head and figure out what you want to do with your life. Because she's a model of clear thinking and together-ness. Rick just stares at her, waiting for her lips to stop moving. Zoe pipes up in agreement with Wannabe, saying, "Aunt Judy did that, didn't she, Mom?" Lily smiles a little and softly says that's right. Rick glances at her, feeling like no one at the table has his back, and excuses himself. Eli reluctantly excuses himself and follows, while everyone watches uncomfortably.
In the kitchen, Rick heads straight for the beer supply. Eli strides in, hissing that he didn't say anything because he knew this is how Rick would react. Eli says it's his decision. "It's your decision, huh, E.? So what's the plan?" Rick demands, taking a swig of beer. Cornered, Eli admits that he doesn't know yet. He wanders a few paces into the breakfast nook. Rick's right behind him, grilling him on how he's going to pay for Europe. Eli says he's got money saved. "That much?" Rick asks dubiously. Eli says he'll get a job. "And what about when you get back, huh? Have you given that any thought?" "Not yet," Eli grits. "Well, you might wanna give it some thought," Rick says, clenched. "See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. Because this is how you act," Eli says bitterly. He storms away. "I was asking you some questions!" Rick hisses in strange whispered yell as he follows. He almost runs directly into Lily, who's coming in to check on them. Eli escapes, and in the background, he grabs Wannabe's hand and leads her away. Rick hangs his head as we fade to commercials.