Okay, before we get started this week, I think it might be a good idea to prepare a little, since this episode's all about Wannabe, and we don't want anyone pulling an eye muscle from rolling too hard. So all together: look left, right, up, and down. Left, right, up, and down. Good. Now remember, if at any time, the pain gets to be too much, I want you to stop, take a deep breath, and tell yourself that she's almost gone.
We open in Rick's apartment, where he's busily emptying his bookshelves into cardboard boxes. Jessie slides into the room on her socks, with Eli right behind, as Rick asks whether they're packed yet. Jessie says she almost is, and then rats out Eli for not having started. Rick nags that they have to start moving stuff to Lily's today. Eli insists that it'll take him "like, two seconds." Oh, I've made that mistake before. And when I kept the movers waiting on moving day, they thanked me by breaking my couch and my microwave. The bastards. Jessie's face clouds a little, and she snuggles up to Rick on a box, asking if he's feeling better. Touched, he assures her that he is. She asks, "And they can't do anything else to you now, right?" Aside from sleeping with your ex-wife, that is. Rick promises that the nightmare is totally over. He pats Jessie's hand and looks at her adoringly. Eli breaks the fuzzy moment with a question about whether he should pack the toaster. Rick figures that Lily probably has one, so they'll just give one of them away. Eli playfully asks what if Lily likes her toaster, and they like their own toaster, and then there's this huge small-appliance impasse? "Yeah, what then?" Jessie chirps. Eli bites back a smirk. Eli and Rick banter a bit more and wind up play-wrestling while Jessie laughs and shrieks in protest. As they calm down, Rick mentions that he ran into the mother of one of Eli's classmates, and that she said her kid got accepted at State. Eli's immediately defensive. He says hasn't heard anything yet. His eyes get all shifty, and with his finger-in-a-socket hair, he looks just like a cornered hedgehog. He retreats to the safety of the kitchen as the phone rings and distracts Rick.
"Help," Lily whines when Rick answers. He asks what's up, and she moans, "Everything." She plucks an envelope out of a basket on the table in front of her and studies it, asking if he remembers whether they put "the little maps to the house" in with the wedding invitations. She's worried that they didn't. Rick promises that he'll take care of it. "You will?" she asks, sounding a little surprised. He asks if she likes her toaster. She emphatically assures him, "I love my toaster! Why?" "No reason." Wah wah. Lily asks whether Jessie is going to come over later to try on her dress. Rick relays the question to Jessie, who's propped up on the counter peeling a banana. Peeling a banana. She's eating! Of her own accord! That's good, right? Jessie freezes and shoots Rick a warning look. Rick smiles and tells Lily that Jessie is coming over after school, "and she's looking forward to it." Grace plops to Lily at the table and passes her a wallet. As Lily hands Grace a bill from it, Grace graciously offers, "Those dresses are hideous." Uh, pretty sure that money wasn't for your opinion, sunshine. Just take your handout and run along, ingrate. Lily's about to snark a reply, but Zoe pipes up from the background that she likes them: "They're romantic." Grace makes a disparaging remark while rolling her eyes. Lily rests her forehead against her hand and wearily asks when Rick's moving in. As if that will somehow lessen the chaos around her. He says, "Any day now." Lily gets a beep and puts Rick on hold.
It's a woman from Lily's lawyer's office. She informs Lily that they're sending over some papers later in the day, and that Lily needs to sign them in order to finalize the divorce. And that, my friends, is the scrap of information we've been waiting for all season: Lily and Jake are not yet divorced. There was no magic, behind-the-scenes proceeding that we missed. And we're not crazy. Lily is going to sign her divorce papers with one hand while signing her marriage license with the other. In fact, she wryly says, "Oh, right. That would help, wouldn't it, since I'm getting married again." The humorless legal lady says, "I imagine it would." She tells Lily that they'll need the papers back as soon as possible. Lily glances at Grace sitting to her, and uneasily asks, "Has Jake...has Jake signed everything?" The woman assures Lily that Jake has, and that everything is in order. Lily thanks her and hangs up. She has only a split second to put her head in her hands and sigh before the phone rings again. She jumps, remembering that she left Rick hanging on the other line. She hops out of her seat as she answers, softly telling him that her lawyer is sending over her divorce papers. They both agree that that's good, and that they'll see one another later.
Cut to the high-school hallway, as the bell is ringing. Wannabe's struggling to shove a huge carpetbag into her locker. Eli sneaks up behind her and says he doesn't think it's going to fit. She grabs him, agreeing, and gives him a loud kiss. She grabs his hand and leads him into an empty classroom, throwing him up against the wall. "Let's go to Amsterdam!" she says, with a devilish little grin. Eli thinks she's kidding, but she says that they should go in the summer. Wannabe whips up a romantic vagabond scenario: hitchhiking, roaming the streets of Paris, doing whatever they want. She says that they can go to Prague. "Prague?" Eli says with a dubious laugh. "Yeah, I hear it's really starting to happen," Wannabe says. Yeah, it's been "starting to happen" for a few years now. Wannabe's really got her finger on the pulse, doesn't she? They kiss again as the bell rings, and Wannabe hoists her bag onto her shoulder. Eli asks what it's for, and Wannabe sighs that she isn't going home. "Ever?" Eli asks. Wannabe drones on about the cliché that is her "evil stepmother," who's threatening to "send [her] back to that place." By "that place," she means "rehab." Eli is horrified. Wannabe gripes that Evil Stepmother claims she stole Vicodin out of her medicine cabinet. Wannabe spits that it's "a complete and utter lie." Because we all know that Wannabe abhors thievery, don't we? She blahs on that her dad will believe Evil Stepmother, and that Wannabe will be sent packing. Now aren't you glad we did those warm-up exercises? I'm up to three eye rolls, and we're barely four minutes into the show. Worried, Eli asks what she's going to do. Wannabe shifts into her tough-cookie routine and smiles, grabs the back of his head, and pulls him in for another kiss. She says she'll "figure it out" and that he shouldn't "worry [his] pretty little head about it." See what she did there? Turning the gender tables like that. She's a pistol. She struts away, leaving Eli to worry his pretty, spiky little head.
Cut to Eli hovering in the doorway to a gym or something. It's all rigged out with a stage and lighting equipment. He spots Grace mingling with another student near the stage, and calls her over to the door. Grace is wearing the same redone denim skirt she's worn a few times now. I like that about this show -- that characters seem to have actual closets full of a finite number of clothes, just like real people. Anyway, Eli asks whether Wannabe said anything to Grace about her stepmother wanting to send her back to "rehab, or whatever it's called." Grace flutters her eyes sarcastically and says, "It's a therapeutic community." Eli says that Wannabe's not going home. Grace's gaze shifts to the floor. Eli says that he'd invite Wannabe to stay at his place, but that his "parents would never go for that." Ha! There's an understatement. The ass-pole would splinter into a thousand toothpicks if it ever encountered Wannabe. Eli hesitates and tentatively asks Grace ask to have Wannabe stay at her place. Grace hedges. Eli stares into her eyes and gives her a little smile, saying, "It would be great if [she] could" ask. Grace melts. Eli thanks her, and Grace heads back to the stage.
Cut to Rick's place as he throws open the door for a mover who's wheeling out his coffee table. Eli moves past the mover into the apartment. Rick's busy talking on the cordless phone to someone about ideas to pitch for some new job. He tosses out a "climbing wall in the lobby" and directs the person on the other end to pull some old plans. So things appear to be looking up a little on the business front. Eli slyly shuffles through the mail and pulls out an envelope. It's a rejection letter from the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. He hurriedly scans it and shoves it inside his jacket as Rick ends his call. Eli hands Rick the rest of the mail and books for the stairs. Suddenly, packing his room has never seemed so appealing. Rick says that "if [they] can get the kitchen stuff and the rest of the books over to Lily's by tonight, that'd be huge." Eli forces enthusiasm. He heads for the safety of his room, but pauses on the landing to glance back at Rick with a mix of guilt over his failure and disgust at Rick's cluelessness. He shakes his head and continues up the stairs.
Judy, meanwhile, is busily pinning the hem of some mauve dress. The camera pans back, and we see that it's Jessie in the dress. Zoe is standing to her, in a matching dress. Judy tells Jessie that "the dress looks amazing on [her]," and Zoe agrees. Zoe pops up on her tiptoes and asks if she can wear high heels. Lily distractedly sighs, "We'll see." She hears the front door open and bellows for Grace to come in and try on her dress. Grace and Wannabe appear in the doorway. Grace says she'll "just wear heels if it's too long." Lily whines at Grace's obvious lack of enthusiasm. Wannabe hangs up her jacket and her carpetbag and wanders into the living room, smiling and saying with wonder, "Are these the dresses? They're beautiful, really beautiful." She glances down at Judy and says, "Hi, I'm Carla." Judy says she knows, they've met. Wannabe doesn't remember, but she's friendly about it. Judy smiles at her. Wannabe asks Lily if she can use the washroom. Who is this girl, full of manners and kind words? And is she only behaving nicely because she needs a place to stay? As soon as Wannabe leaves the room, Zoe bends down and stage whispers to Lily, "She is so bizarre!" Grace takes a few menacing steps and warns Zoe to head off the Wannabe-bashing. Zoe rolls her eyes and "whatever"s. Lily sternly whispers for both of them to stop it. Judy smiles at Jessie and mutters, "Sisters," to break the tension. Grace asks to speak with Lily in private.
Out in the foyer, Grace asks whether Wannabe may stay over. Lily immediately ixnays that one, and she hoists Wannabe's bag off the banister for emphasis. Grace says she knows it's a school night, and she wouldn't ask if it weren't important. Grace confides that "there's some kind of weirdness going on at [Wannabe's] house, and she needs a place to stay." Lily asks whether Wannabe's parents know where she is. Grace says she doesn't think they care. I think we're supposed to feel sympathetic toward Wannabe here, but I can't help identifying with the parents. I'm a monster, aren't I? Grace turns the screws, saying that Wannabe would "sleep on the street," and Grace doesn't want her doing that. Lily rolls her eyes and relents, succumbing to the guilt trip. She adds that she's going to call Wannabe's parents, though, to let them know that she's okay. Grace quickly says that would make things worse, and promises that Wannabe will call them herself.
Rick and Eli burst through the front door as Grace and Lily head back toward the living room. Rick is staggering under the weight of a television set, and he asks where Lily wants it. "How 'bout the attic?" she suggests. He's not so hot on that idea. The floor in the foyer is much more appealing. Judy gives Rick a kiss on the cheek as she heads for the door with the dresses slung over her arm. She turns to Eli, jokingly asking whether he needs anything hemmed. Eli declines, and Judy promises she'll be "back in a jiff." Lily calls out, "Thanks for saving me!" and Judy adds, "Again!" as she closes the door behind herself. Jessie runs out of the living room and throws herself into Rick's arms to say hello. He asks who's hungry, and everyone agrees that they're starving. "Pizza for six?" he asks. "Hey Rick," comes Wannabe's voice from the top of the stairs. "Actually, seven," Lily says with a smile as Wannabe heads down to join them. She stops halfway down as Eli climbs on the bench -- in his boots -- to give her a kiss over the railing. And it's not just a little hello peck. It's a full-on, groping, open-mouthed kiss. Which is really thoughtless on two counts: first, there are children and parents present, and second, people were just preparing to eat. "That's interesting," Zoe mutters with disdain. Jessie sensibly turns her back with an eye roll (I hope the cast practiced their eye-muscle exercises, too, with all the rolling going on), and covers Zoe's eyes. Lily and Rick exchange a look.
As everyone eats, Lily's trying to work out the kinks in the seating arrangements for the wedding. She asks if they could put Rick's mother to the Unitarian minister. Zoe asks what "Unitarian" means, and Grace explains, "It's like every religion." Zoe pipes up that she thought they were having a rabbi. "That's progressive," Wannabe snurfs around her mouthful of pizza. She's disgusting when she eats. ["You could have stopped after 'disgusting.'" -- Wing Chun] Zoe glares at her. Rick suggests putting his mother between the rabbi and the minister. "That way I'll be safe," he adds. "From who?" Lily demands. Rick looks at her and abruptly says, "More pizza, anybody?" I have no idea what that little exchange was about. The stray known as Wannabe throws up her hand and then holds it out eagerly. She says, "This is so fun. My family has never eaten in the dining room. Not once." Oh, boo hoo. Rick and Lily study her for a moment. Wannabe turns to Eli and blurts that she found out that all they have to do to get courier tickets is get bonded. Eli "heh"s uncomfortably as Rick pauses with his glass (of soda!) halfway to his mouth. Lily asks why they need courier tickets. Eli stammers that they "were thinking about going to Europe this summer." Wannabe explains that, as couriers, they'd carry someone's "priceless antiques" to Europe, and the person would pay for their tickets. Wouldn't you rest easy with these two moes transporting your "priceless antiques"? Jessie jealously asks where they would stay. Wannabe's revved up now, and rambles that they'd sleep "anywhere -- youth hostels, camping." She relates that in Sweden people will let you camp on their lawns. Rick stares at her with ill-concealed distrust. Grace enthuses that they'll have "the best time." Rick asks whether Eli thinks he should wait to see if he got into Champaign before making plans. Eli stares at his plate and breaks the news that he has heard: he didn't get in. Rick makes his patented guppy face. Wannabe noisily munches between them. Rick asks when he heard. Eli admits, "Today." Jessie watches the tension between them, then sadly looks at her plate. I doubt she'll be having more pizza. Rick asks why Eli didn't tell him sooner. Eli says it wasn't good news. Grace occupies herself with her glass of soda. Zoe fidgets and plays with her fork. Jessie and Lily stare off, uncomfortably. Wannabe slurps on, unconcerned. Rick glances at Lily and tries to muster a positive thing to say. He manages, "Well, [Champaign] is a hard school to get into. And we're still waiting to hear from State, though, right?" Wrong. Heh. Eli didn't, um, apply to State. Rick doesn't understand: they filled out the applications. Eli confesses that he didn't send them in. Everyone wishes they were anywhere but here. Jessie studies the ceiling, Zoe studies her, and Lily anxiously watches the volley between the two men. Eli says he didn't want to go to State. Rick insists that it's a good school. Wannabe now has her arm across the back of Eli's chair. Eli glances at her and says he figured that if he didn't get into Champaign, he'd "take a year off to figure things out." More like, he figured he'd sabotage his chances of getting into college so he wouldn't have to go. Rick asks what Eli intends to do. Besides play his guitar and bang his girlfriend? Gee, he hasn't given it much thought. "I don't know, travel?" Eli says. Wannabe jumps in to tell Rick that sometimes it's good to take some time off to clear your head and figure out what you want to do with your life. Because she's a model of clear thinking and together-ness. Rick just stares at her, waiting for her lips to stop moving. Zoe pipes up in agreement with Wannabe, saying, "Aunt Judy did that, didn't she, Mom?" Lily smiles a little and softly says that's right. Rick glances at her, feeling like no one at the table has his back, and excuses himself. Eli reluctantly excuses himself and follows, while everyone watches uncomfortably.
In the kitchen, Rick heads straight for the beer supply. Eli strides in, hissing that he didn't say anything because he knew this is how Rick would react. Eli says it's his decision. "It's your decision, huh, E.? So what's the plan?" Rick demands, taking a swig of beer. Cornered, Eli admits that he doesn't know yet. He wanders a few paces into the breakfast nook. Rick's right behind him, grilling him on how he's going to pay for Europe. Eli says he's got money saved. "That much?" Rick asks dubiously. Eli says he'll get a job. "And what about when you get back, huh? Have you given that any thought?" "Not yet," Eli grits. "Well, you might wanna give it some thought," Rick says, clenched. "See, this is why I didn't want to tell you. Because this is how you act," Eli says bitterly. He storms away. "I was asking you some questions!" Rick hisses in strange whispered yell as he follows. He almost runs directly into Lily, who's coming in to check on them. Eli escapes, and in the background, he grabs Wannabe's hand and leads her away. Rick hangs his head as we fade to commercials.
When we return, Lily's rummaging through a box of old photos in her bedroom, smiling fondly. Rick sidles in, throws himself heavily onto the bed, and sighs, "I give up. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to do." Lily says, "There's a difference between giving up and letting go. Maybe Eli needs the time to figure out what he wants." "Or to let Carla decide that for him," Rick snipes. He adds, "She's like this malevolent pied piper." Lily tries to be diplomatic, saying that Wannabe's "certainly an interesting and passionate person." Rick asks if she'd let Grace leave the country with Wannabe. "Never in a million years," Lily answers without hesitation. Rick asks if it's a good idea for Wannabe to stay there for a few days. Lily throws up her hands, helplessly saying that Wannabe has nowhere else to stay, and that she has "this horrible stepmother." The two of them exchange a look as "stepmother" hangs in the air, and then Lily asks what she was supposed to do. Rick says she's right. He asks if her divorce papers came. "Mmm-hmm," Lily answers. She says she just has to sign them. "Yeah, you do," Rick agrees. Lily stops pulling pictures out of the box and after a second says how strange it is, "seeing your divorce in writing." She asks if Rick "felt weird, in any way" with his. Rick nods slowly, saying, "Yeah -- no. Yes." He explains that even though he "wanted it, it felt so final and so done." Lily watches him and raises her eyebrows a little. Rick gives her a teasing smile and asks if he has to "stand over [her] and guide [her] hand as [she] sign[s] those papers." Lily teases him in return: "No, I'm pretty sure I want out. See, I promised myself to this other man." She grabs him by the back of the head and kisses him deeply. They breathe so heavily I'm expecting their hair to billow out behind them. It doesn't.
Meanwhile, the delinquent duo and Grace are planning their route through Europe. If you could call staring at a map and pulling places out of the air with no thought as to the expense of getting from one to the other "planning." Grace says that when they're in Amsterdam, they should go to the Anne Frank house. Man, is she barking up the wrong tree. Like Wannabe and Eli would ever leave the hash bars and red-light district for a downer like that. Eli asks where Mozart is from. "Salzburg, I think," Grace answers. She says, "You should go there. Maybe it'll be inspiring for you." Eli agrees, but he looks doubtful. Wannabe rambles on, spouting off places and ending with Greece, where they'll "swim naked and sleep on the beach." Ack! My eyes. I think I seriously pulled something with that one. Eli jokes that it will be "so horrible" living like that. Huh. My gag reflex seems to be fine. They stare moonily at one another across the map, while Grace stands between them, still trying to be part of the conversation. They ignore her. Eli says he has a book on Greece in the attic. He asks Wannabe if she wants to go check it out. Grace rolls her eyes. The dirty duo head upstairs to do a little "light reading." I may have to kill myself since, clearly, I'll never be able to pick up another book. Those bastards.
Wannabe surveys the attic and asks if it's where Eli's going to "like, stay." Unfazed, Eli answers, "Until they fix up the garage, I guess." He puts on some music and pulls out the book he was thinking of, which is conveniently at the top of one of the boxes. So he really did want to show her a book. That means my mind is dirtier than an eighteen-year-old boy's. I can live with that. He opens the book and says, "Oh, yeah. We definitely have to go to Greece." Wannabe's lost her enthusiasm. Eli asks if she still wants to go to Greece. She starts putting the brakes on the whole thing, saying that her "father will probably hold [her] passport so [she] can't leave the country." He doesn't understand what she's talking about. Her voice is teary as she throws up her hands and says she doesn't "see how this will happen, really." She admits, "Sometimes I make up things, but then they don't happen because I'm such a..." She shakes her head in self-disgust and stares at the floor. She says that she just doesn't "get it together." Eli watches her, closes the book, and sadly stares at the cover. She apologizes for disappointing him. He moves in front of her and grabs her knees, vowing that he will take the trip, and that she's going with him. "Shut up," she smiles. He says that even if they "have to wear disguises and pretend [they're] Canadian, [they're] going." Well, as a proud Canadian, I object to that idea. Wannabe would single-handedly destroy our reputation as polite and reserved people. I'd have to kill her first. Eli continues trying to cheer up the pouting Wannabe until she finally breaks a smile. He takes her hand and solemnly asks her to go with him. Looking down, she says, "I guess." He kisses her. She smiles and says, "I might." They laugh and hug and over his shoulder, Wannabe says, "I don't think I would exist without you." Ah, now there' a healthy attitude. Eli hugs her more tightly and scrunches up his nose for emphasis. Folks, I think we may soon see the hedgehog mating dance.
Downstairs, Lily approaches Zoe's room, where the kid is busy going through her clothes. Zoe tells Lily that Jessie's side of the room is ready. She asks when Lily thinks Jessie will move in. Lily says it'll be in a couple of days, and asks whether Zoe's okay with that. Zoe shrugs and matter-of-factly says, "I'm fine with it. [Jessie's] the one who's a little upset about everything. I mean, she doesn't say anything, but...you can tell." Lily looks a little sad to hear it, but puts on a smile and says, "Well, we're just going to have to do everything we can to make her feel comfortable." See, she's so not the Evil Stepmother. I like Lily right now.
Lily turns away from Zoe's door with a smile and heads down the hallway. She pauses at the door to the attic, and listens to the muted music filtering down. Sorry, I don't know the song or who it's by. Lily is drawn up the stairs by the sounds, but she's sorry once she reaches the attic. There's Eli, shirtless, canoodling on the bed with an apparently naked Wannabe. Lily swallows the bile. No, really. She does. In fact, she has to lean against the wall and take a moment. Little does she know, those images of Eli and Wannabe don't fade that easily. But she'll get through it. The rest of us have.
Down in the hallway again, Lily closes the door to the attic. No doubt, she'd bar it and then nail it shut if she could. Wordlessly, she strides over to Zoe's room and closes her door, too. Zoe, puzzled, shakes her head at the weirdness of adults, and goes back to folding her clothes.
Later that night, Lily and Rick are in her bathroom, brushing their teeth at their respective sinks. I don't care what anyone says -- when I have a house, the master bathroom is having two sinks. Mr. Josh can hop in his, splash around, and leave all the puddles he wants, then. Anyway, we've entered in the midst of their conversation, as Rick is assuring Lily that he'll talk to Eli about it. Lily says she doesn't want " to embarrass him, but Zoe could so easily have just wandered up there." She's totally right, of course, but somehow I don't think Zoe would freak. The kid's, like, forty or something. Rick agrees, saying that Zoe wouldn't be "as traumatized" as Lily. Lily smiles and says, "That's true." She laughs at herself and admits that she may be overreacting. I don't think she is. Who knows what sorts of nasty curses and spirits a naked Wannabe releases into a house? Rick promises again that he'll talk to Eli. Lily emphatically thanks him. She asks if he called the caterer yet. He proudly says that he did, and he gave her the final numbers. "Good boy," Lily says approvingly. He asks whether she signed her divorce papers yet. He's met with a guilty silence. He looks over and asks, "What?" Lily sheepishly confesses, "I forgot." Yeah, I can see how that would happen. Rick smiles a little and comes over to her, as she assures both of them, "It doesn't mean anything." He agrees, "It's meaningless," and they rub up against one another. She asks when he thinks he'll move in. "Oh, I don't know...Maybe by tomorrow," he answers. Lily's really happy to hear it. She asks if he has his kids tomorrow. He does. "Oh, god," she says with a wide smile, "you'll all be here!" They kiss. Rick husks, "Hurry up," and, I presume heads for the bedroom. He meets Wannabe on her way into the bathroom. He lingers in the doorway as Lily asks Wannabe if everything is okay. Wannabe says she just "wanted to thank" Lily for letting her stay there. She's very earnest about it. Lily tells her that she's welcome. She's about to leave, but Lily stops her to ask if she wants Lily to talk to her parents. Wannabe looks like she could cry. She says she wishes it would help, but that it won't. She thanks Lily for offering, though. They say goodnight, and Wannabe pads out. Lily turns to her medicine chest to put away some lotion. Something catches her eye. A prescription bottle has its lid only half on, and a tube of lotion to it is tipped. Lily grabs the bottle and finds only two pills inside. She spins and suspiciously looks toward where Wannabe was just standing.
Okay, who doesn't think Wannabe wanted to get caught? Like, here's a tip: time, leave more than, say, two pills in the bottle. And make sure you put the lid back on. Oh, and while you're at it, put everything back the way you found it. Dumb-ass.
Lily sherlocks her way downstairs, where Wannabe's bag is still hanging from the banister. The Bells of St. Narc peal in the background as Lily rifles through the bag. She pulls out an old cigar box and finds a baggie with her pills inside, along with the contents of a whole pharmaceutical counter. Lily glances upstairs and purses her lips in disgust. She shakes her head and shoves everything back in the box. She's so mad she could just spit. She clamps her hands on her hips and fumes as we slip into a commercial break.
"She has to go," Lily's saying when we return. We're watching Wannabe overhear the comment as she's coming out of Grace's room. She pauses, looking disappointed but not surprised, and retreats into the bedroom with a slam.
Downstairs, Lily's trying to round up her stuff and the girls so that they can get going. She asks Rick if he'll be there later "so [they] can deal with this." Rick repeats, slowly, that he will be there, and that they will deal with it. Lily flies into the kitchen to tear Grace and Zoe away from their breakfasts. Grace says that Wannabe woke up late. Lily and Rick exchange a look. Grace catches it and says that Wannabe will catch the bus: "It's not a big deal." Lily herds them out the back door, and Zoe calls a cheerful goodbye to Rick. "Bye kids," he answers. I don't know why, but addressing them as "kids" strikes me as strange.
Rick moves his mug of coffee to the island, where he starts leafing through the morning paper. As he rifles through the sections, he finds Lily's divorce papers resting underneath the pile. They're tagged with sticky arrows that say "sign here." They could only make it easier for her to finalize things if they gave her a rubber stamp with her signature. She still hasn't signed. And it's interesting to note that Jake is referred to as the "petitioner" and Lily is the "respondent."
Wannabe breezes into the kitchen saying hello, and Rick lets the document fall closed. He responds with a reserved "good morning." After a beat, he adds, "Carla," as if struggling to think what to call her without using expletives. She catches the vibe and casts a baleful glance at his profile. She helps herself to some cereal as Rick offers her a ride to school. She quickly says it's okay, she'll catch the bus. She explains that she doesn't have a class first period, so she doesn't have to "get there that fast." She pops a few flakes in her mouth and chews loudly, observing that they "taste like cardboard." She makes a joke about fiber, but Rick doesn't even smile. He's busy thinking of how to broach the subject of the stolen drugs. "Carla..." he starts, and says that he thinks there's something they may need to discuss. Her smile vanishes, and guilt flashes across her face. Not remorse, mind you. It's the look of someone smart enough to know she's busted, and that's what she's bummed about. Before Rick can finish, Wannabe grabs her bag, pulls the pill box out of it, and says, "Take 'em!" She dumps the contents onto the counter. She claims, "I don't know why I do it -- I don't even take them. I just like to have them around in case I need them." Her voice catches as she adds that she's "really screwed up." That's right, Wannabe, turn on the tears. Rick tells her that they want to help her, and suggests talking to her parents. "No!" Wannabe says, turning her back. She says that her parents aren't like him "at all," and that they'll just send her back to "this place where [she's] locked up like a prisoner." Rick's not feeling the sympathy. He suggests that her parents have her best interests at heart. Wannabe exclaims that they don't care about her; they just want to get rid of her because she's "like, this overwhelming burden." Again, I'm identifying with the parents. Is that wrong? She steps toward Rick, sobbing, and presses herself against her chest. Watching this the second time around, I'm a little more suspicious about her whole performance -- that it's just that: a performance. Rick waves his hands around her shoulders, loath to actually touch The Beast, and then reluctantly taps at her arms a couple of times. Wannabe sobs that Eli doesn't have anything to do with it; he doesn't even know about the pills. A door closes in the background, and Judy appears in the back doorway with the dresses over her arm. "Hi..." she says uncertainly, slowing down when she sees them. Wannabe hurriedly grabs her stuff and blows out the back door. They watch her, Rick rubbing his forehead, and Judy wrinkling hers. "What the hell was that?" she asks softly, furrowing her brow. Rick holds up a baggie of pills in response. Judy turns back to the doorway, still looking concerned and confused.
Cut to a glass-paned door with gauzy curtains. We can see Lily's silhouette as she approaches the door and rings the bell. A well-dressed young blonde woman answers with an infant on her hip. She's Evil Stepmother. Lily introduces herself as a nanny approaches and removes the baby. Evil Stepmother doesn't click on who Lily is, so Lily adds that she's "Grace's mom." Still nothing. Lily explains that Grace is a friend of Wannabe. Evil Stepmother invites Lily in, and as the camera pans back, we can see that the place is like a mansion. It has an enormous wood-paneled dining room in the background, and ornately carved antique furniture in the foreground, which is the sitting room. Lily explains that she just wanted to talk for a minute about Wannabe, and Evil Stepmother must've clued in about who she is, finally, because she says it's really nice of Lily to let Wannabe stay over. She adds, "I hope she's not causing you too much trouble." Lily says that's actually why she's there. "I figured," Evil Stepmother says softly, looking somewhat embarrassed. She asks what happened. Lily stammers, "Is it possible that Carla could have a problem..." Evil Stepmother doesn't help her out, so Lily's forced to add, "With drugs." Evil Stepmother nods, expressionless, and says that it's one of Wannabe's "many problems." She adds, "It's why she took off -- I caught her pilfering from my medicine cabinet." She smiles tightly. Lily's understanding a lot more now, and nods her head sadly. Evil Stepmother tells her not to hesitate to send Wannabe home if she causes any problems. Lily says that she thinks Wannabe may have stolen something from her medicine cabinet. Evil Stepmother clasps her hand to her chest and apologizes, mortified: "You should not have to endure Carla, and I'm sure that you have your own --" Lily holds out a hand to stop the woman, saying that she "completely understand[s] if Carla has a problem, and [she] wants to help." She says that's why she's there -- she wants to do everything she can. "And we appreciate that," Evil Stepmother answers insincerely. Lily says that Wannabe is "very charming and smart and Grace just thinks the world of her." Evil Stepmother just stares back, nodding slightly, and says, "She's an angry girl. I would be, too, if I were her. I mean, listen, I'm her third stepmother. Her father's never here -- he works...very hard. Her real mother is...well, who knows where she is." She's distracted by the sound of her baby crying in the background. Lily registers the story of Wannabe's dysfunctional family with sympathy and concealed surprise. I think the surprise is more a result of the stepmother's indifference than the circumstances she related. Evil Stepmother assures her, "Carla's going to be fine. Don't worry about her. She's been through...a lot worse." She smiles wryly, as if she's enjoying the thought. It's really very creepy in a polite, genteel sort of way. Lily nods, a little dazed.
Cut to Grace and Wannabe in Geometry class, where half the kids are fighting off sleep as the teacher struggles to elicit some kind of a reaction from them. She's interrupted by a woman who hands her a note. "Carla, it's for you. Principal's office." Wannabe slowly lifts her head off the table, registering the ominous news. She mutters, "Well it's been nice knowing ya," to Grace and slowly drags her ass out of her seat. The teacher snaps at her to hurry up. Wannabe grabs her jacket and bag and heads out. Grace watches her, noting that she took all of her stuff with her.
Wannabe runs to Eli's computer lab, where he, too, is fighting off sleep. She motions for him to come on, and he gets excused by the teacher. He tells Wannabe, "I really need to be in this class if I'm going to graduate." "Listen, I'm outta here," she interrupts. She explains that she's leaving town. He's stunned but manages to ask where she's going to go. She says she thinks her mother is in Oregon, so she'll head there. Eli starts to stammer out more questions, still trying to register what she's telling him, but she cuts him off to explain, rapid-fire, that the principal called him to her office, her father's coming to pick her up, and he's going to ship her off again. Urgently, the little drama queen adds, "I don't have much time! I have to go!" and spins around to take off down the hallway. Eli grabs her arm and says he'll go with her. She says, "You don't have to do that. Your dad will freak." Eli stares at her passionately, saying that Rick's "already freaked," and he wants to go with her. Wannabe stares into his eyes and registers the intensity of his feelings. He adds, "I can't let you go alone." She considers this, nods a quick affirmative, and tells him to meet her at the bus station to catch the 7:45 to Oregon. She says again that she really has to go, puckers up those big old lips, and gives him a goodbye kiss. She runs off down the hallway.
Cut to Rick and Lily standing side by side in the living room, facing Eli and Grace on the couch. The parentals are saying that they trust the kids, and know that they're responsible -- that's not what this is about. The kids just watch them sullenly, looking slightly bored, until Lily mentions the name "Carla." Lily and Rick relate that some of Lily's pills were missing from the medicine cabinet, and Grace immediately jumps to Wannabe's defense, saying she can't believe they would accuse her. Rick says that Wannabe admitted it. Eli works through the information. Realization dawns in his eyes, and he says, "You didn't talk to her parents, did you?" Rick says they did. "Well, that's great," Eli mutters bitterly. Lily says that she spoke with Wannabe's stepmother that afternoon. "And what exactly did you say?" Eli demands, arms folded. Cocky little...Lily says she told the woman what happened. "You mean your perception of what happened," Eli snaps. "Eli," Rick says, trying to sound stern. Now Grace is figuring things out, too. She realizes that's why Wannabe got called to the principal's office and fumes, "I can't believe you did that! I can't believe you did that to her!" Um, because Lily forced her to steal prescription drugs? Eli gripes, "You know, she trusted us. And she trusted you guys, too, and you just turned your back on her!" Oh, please. The girl's a lying thief, bottom line. "Trust" -- that's a funny word to be throwing around at people who opened their home to a spoiled, fucked-up kid who took advantage of them. Rick points out that Wannabe stole pills from them. Lily adds that their concern is for their own kids; that's who they're responsible for, not Wannabe. Jessie and Zoe wander into the middle of things, letting Lily and Rick know that Jessie's got her things settled. She says that they're going to need another dresser, though, and there's a tense silence for a few seconds, until Rick promises to bring her old one over. Eli sulks and snaps, "Are we through?" The parentals say yeah. Grace and Eli storm out of the living room full of piss and vinegar and righteous indignation. Brats.
Alone, Lily confesses her uncertainty over their decision to tell Wannabe's parents. Rick assures her that she did the right thing. "What else could you do?" he asks. Lily has no answer.
Up in the attic, Eli's throwing stuff into a bag. He's going to show them -- he's running away from home. God, is he eight years old? That's seriously the last time I pulled that stunt as a tantrum. Where's his stick and hobo kerchief? Grace wanders into the attic and sarcastically says, "Isn't my family generous? Letting you live in the attic?" Hey, I know -- why don't the two of you spring for a new house? What's that? You don't have the money? Right-o, then shut your little bitch-holes. She asks what Eli's doing. He says he's going with Wannabe. Grace's face falls, but she manages to maintain her composure enough to ask where they're going. Eli smiles and says he doesn't know yet. He says that he's going to meet Wannabe at the bus station. Grace is fighting hard to hide the fact that she wants to cry. Eli says, "You've been a really good friend." Grace's eyes grow red, and she looks at the floor. Eli adds, "To both of us." Grace asks, "What about graduation?" He's unconcerned. Grace can't believe it. Eli slaps on boots that were made for walking, and after a few seconds, Grace says, "It's funny. You're supposed to be moving in, and instead you're moving out right away." Her disappointment is palpable. He chuckles and agrees that it is pretty funny. For a split second, Grace looks like she might sob, but she manages to suck it down before Eli notices. "You're going to miss the wedding," she says, trying to sound flip. "Yeah," Eli says, not giving a shit. He stands up and says goodbye, and they hug. On his way down the stairs, he pauses and jokes, "You can have my room if you want it." Grace swallows her tears a little longer, forces a smile, and says, "Thanks." He asks her not to say anything, and she agrees. He jogs down the stairs, and Grace glances around the empty attic as we head to commercials.
When we return, Eli's in his room in Karen's basement, fishing some dollar bills out of an old jar. Karen bounds down the steps with his suit in her hand and startles him. She asks if he wants to try on his suit and make sure it's okay. Too quickly, he says no. He catches himself, swallows, and lies that he's got to get going to band practice. "Okay," Karen says, pulling the plastic bag down over the suit. Eli stares at her, realizing it's the last time he'll see her for a while, and that he's going to break her heart. He takes a few steps toward her and says, "Mom?" She smiles and nods, waiting. He hesitates, knowing he can't say what he really wants to. Instead, he manages, "Thanks." She nods, touched, and he kisses her cheek before bounding up the stairs. She stares off, puzzled by this sudden display of affection.
Eli arrives at the bus station, where a very bored announcer is droning off a list of destinations over the loudspeaker. Eli studies the departures board. Sighing, he takes a seat on a bench and glances up at the clock on the wall. It's 7:10.
"It's just not fair," Zoe gripes, piling buns in a basket at the stove. At the table, Grace rolls her eyes and glares at the kid's pathetic idea of injustice: being forced to participate in dodgeball. Zoe looks to Jessie to back her up, but Jessie confesses that she likes dodgeball. Zoe starts to rethink her whole adoration thing. Rick asks Grace whether she knows what time the library closes. Guarded, she says she doesn't, and asks why. He says that Eli said he'd be there studying, and Rick's wondering whether he should go and pick him up, because he wants the two of them to grab more stuff from the apartment. Grace stammers, "I think he said something about band practice, or something." She can't meet Rick's eyes. Rick is frustrated that Eli never mentioned practice to him, and Lily asks whether Eli mentioned where practice is. Jessie volunteers to call Karen's place, since they usually rehearse in her basement. As Jessie heads for the phone, Grace blurts, "He's not there," and hates herself for it. "How do you know?" Rick asks. "I just know," Grace says, staring fixedly at her plate. Rick and Lily exchange a look, and Lily leans forward. Rick asks where Eli is, then. Grace won't look up, but she almost sorta shrugs. "Grace?" Lily prods. Grace finally looks up, realizes the jig is up, and leans back in her chair. She admits that Eli said he was meeting Wannabe at the bus station, but he didn't say where they were going. Rick's face registers shock, disbelief, and finally, anger. He throws his napkin on the table and stands up to tear off for the station. "Rick!" Grace pleads. Jessie pops out of her chair and says she's going to go with him. Rick takes her by the shoulders, saying, "No, sweetie." He's thinking that she really doesn't need to witness a double homicide. Jessie watches him go, tears filling her eyes. She sucks her lip to keep in the tears. Lily gently reaches out and touches her elbow, softly telling her to come back to the table. Silently, Jessie turns and sits down. Lily strokes her hair and assures her that everything will be okay. Jessie looks miserable.
Cut to Grace lying on her bed with a textbook. There's a tapping at her window. It's Wannabe, perched on a branch outside. Maybe she'll fall! No such luck. Grace throws open the window and Wannabe climbs safely inside. Grace asks what she's doing there. Wannabe says that she came to say goodbye. "Weren't you supposed to meet Eli?" Grace whispers. "Yeah. Do you have any money?" is the hopeless romantic's reply. Grace says that Eli sneaked out to meet Wannabe at the bus station. Wannabe looks thoughtful and muses, "Huh. I didn't think he'd really do it. You got any money?" She says that Grace should know she wouldn't ask if she didn't really need it. Grace rolls her eyes and pulls a clump of bills from a jar on her desk. Wannabe sighs in relief at the sight of it and counts it. She heads into Grace's bathroom to drink water from the tap, and Grace tells her that Rick is out looking for Eli. "That makes sense," Wannabe says bitterly. She says that she doesn't think Eli is "ready for this." Grace can't believe that Wannabe's just going to leave him behind. "I'm trying to spare him. I'm not an easy person," Wannabe says. Grace can't believe that Wannabe could do that to someone who cares about her. "He was ready to give up everything for you!" she points out. "That's not necessarily a good personality trait," Wannabe replies. Then she shifts gears, saying, "You should be happy about this! Eli's going to be living in your house!" Grace recoils, asking, "What's that supposed to mean?" Wannabe answers, "Just that! He's all yours." Grace looks wounded, and after a few moments, she tells Wannabe that she should just go. "I didn't mean that," Wannabe says quickly. "Yes, you did!" Grace spits. Catfight! Grace says that Wannabe's always thought that Grace wanted Eli, and "even if it's not true, it's probably why [Wannabe] wanted him in the first place." Wannabe softens, and says that she's really going to miss Grace; Grace is the only friend she's ever had. "Yeah," Grace says sarcastically, fighting to hold back her tears. Wannabe's doing the same as she insists that it's true. Grace can't look at her. After a few seconds, she chokes out, "Then why were you just going to leave like that?" Wannabe doesn't know what she's talking about. Grace reminds her that she just got up and left Geometry, and that Wannabe would have been fine just taking off like that except that she needed money. "Is that what you really think?" Wannabe cries. Grace says she doesn't know what to think. "Well, don't think that!" Wannabe pleads. They hug and sob, and Wannabe says, "I really will miss you, Grace Manning." Grace bites her lip, squinches her eyes, and holds Wannabe even tighter. Wannabe breaks for the window and pauses on the branch outside for one last look. Oh, just get going, already.
Eli glances around the bus station, sucking his lip and wondering where the hell Wannabe is. Rick rushes through the doors, slowing down a little when he spots Eli sitting there, as relief floods his body. Eli glances up and finds Rick standing above him. He rolls his eyes and pops off the bench, trying to blow past Rick. Rick pleads with him to listen. "What makes you think I don't know everything you're going to say?" Eli snipes. Rick answers, "Because I don't know what I'm going to say. I don't know how to talk to you anymore, E, and you have no idea how that horrifies me." Eli looks at him, bitterly resenting the guilt trip, and throws himself onto the bench. Rick sits to him and says that he knows Eli hasn't agreed with a lot of what he's said in the past two months, and that sometimes Rick hasn't even agreed with the stuff he's said, but that he's Eli's father and he has a responsibility to try to protect him. He asks, "If I see you on a motorcycle heading toward a cliff, am I not supposed to scream, or to try to stop you?" Eli glares at him, and then looks away, sucking on his cheeks to fight back the tears. Rick says, "I know you're eighteen now, and you're supposed to be making your own decisions --" "Then why don't you let me make them?" Eli snaps. Rick answers, "Because you're sitting in a bus station and it's three weeks 'til graduation and you've only applied to one college. That's not making decisions. That's avoidance, E., and I'm sorry, but you're going to have to hear me say that." Eli demands, "What makes you think you have the right to tell me anything?" Rick answers, "Because I'm your father and I've lived longer than you have." Eli spits, "And look how that's turned out." Ouch! That one struck bone. Rick reels for a second, looking at Eli like he doesn't even know who he is, and then Rick sinks against the back of the bench. He hangs his head and breathes sadly, his face a mask of defeat. Eli smells blood and moves in for the kill: "You want me to do what you did, Dad? Which part, huh? The divorce, the messed-up business, the grand jury?" Rick hears the words for what they are: a tantrum. He asks, "What's going to make it easier for you, E.? To see me as the monster, bending you to my will, or as the screw-up who's trying to cover his mistakes? Because I am neither." Eli turns to look at him. Rick keeps staring straight ahead and continues, "I am just....a man attempting his best -- though that is usually not enough -- who loves his son and daughter, and would cut off an arm to make sure they get what they need in life." Shamed, Eli turns and stares straight ahead, crying now. Rick says solemnly, "We're never going to have the same relationship again. I'll always be your father, but you have your own life now." They finally look at each other. Rick's tears are falling as he tells Eli that if he wants to run off with Wannabe, Rick can't stop him. Eli doesn't say anything; he just keeps on crying. Rick asks where Wannabe is. Eli shakes his head and tries to keep from sobbing, choking out, "She didn't make it. She blew me off." He breaks down, and Rick feels his pain, even though deep down inside he's doing a happy dance. Me, I'm not so reluctant to show my joy, and I dance around the living room singing, "Nah-nah-nah-nah, nah-nah-nah-nah, hey-ey-ey, goodbye!" Rick claps Eli on the shoulder, and as the camera pans back, Eli crumples forward, sobbing hard.
Jessie, meanwhile, is tucked into her new bed, reading. Lily taps at the door and asks if Jessie would like another pillow. Jessie says she's fine. Lily sits on the edge of Jessie's bed and softly says, "Try to get some sleep." Jessie says she will. Lily gives her a little smile and then kisses her forehead, wishing her a good night. She intercepts Zoe on her way in from the bathroom and envelops her in a big hug. Jessie watches closely, and then looks away, sadly, as Lily wishes Zoe "sweet dreams." The background song sings, "Take me down to your house, show me where you live," as Jessie turns her head and stares off wistfully.
We fade to Rick and Eli at the old apartment, boxing up some more stuff. Eli sighs, heartbroken, and tapes a box closed. He carries out a box, and Rick pats him on the back as he closes the door behind them, casting a last look around inside.
Grace is laying in bed reading Travels with Lizbeth. She puts down the book and stares out the open window as the curtain billows lightly in the breeze. She blinks slowly, and her expression is bittersweet.
Wannabe, meanwhile, is climbing on a Greyhound headed for Seattle. She looks sadly out the window, and I know it's wrong, but I just can't wait for the doors to whoosh closed and that bus to carry her bedraggled ass to the other side of the continent.
Jessie lies in her bed, wide-awake, staring out the window with her face bathed in moonlight.
Rick hands Eli his guitar at the stairs to the attic. Eli slowly trudges upstairs to bed.
Rick walks into the bedroom and glances around. He spots Lily in the bathroom, folding towels. She's wearing a muu-muu. Thank god, because I was coming dangerously close to breaking my self-imposed rule against crying during this episode. I refuse to shed a tear for anything remotely connected with Wannabe. Rick glances at the foot of the bed, where Lily's divorce papers are lying on the quilt. He slowly picks them up and flips open the document. It's signed. Rick takes a deep breath and swallows hard. He turns to watch Lily in the bathroom. She feels his eyes on her and turns to look at him. They stare at each other, and the camera closes the distance between them as they smile at one another, each grateful beyond words to have the other.