Wow, so here it is. Last one of the season. I don't know if it's that weddings get to me, or that I miss the show already, but I'm having a hard time dialing up the sarcasm this week. Bear with me, okay?
The show opens with a shadowy figure floating behind a white nylon sheet that looks like a giant, translucent butterfly wing. It flutters and then flaps out of the way, and we see the figure clearly from behind, walking along a grass aisle past row after row of empty white chairs. She's in a summery gown with a veil of white netting perched on her dark hair. The camera cuts to show us that the figure is Lily, looking anxious and a little ashen as she approaches one flap of nylon. Pushing it back, she finds Judy and Will Gluck in an airtight liplock. They stop sucking face and turn to look at her, expressionless. She retreats. We fade to her lifting another section of the sheeting to find the kids decked out in sophisticated black evening wear and heavy makeup, savoring martinis poured by an exorbitantly pregnant Tiffany. Everyone turns and looks at Lily with disdain. Again, she retreats. She's confronted by her mother, Barbara. We switch to some kind of fishbowl lens, so that both women are just slightly distorted in an Alice in Wonderland sort of way. Babs chastises, "Lily, if you're going to serve the kids martinis, they should at least be on the rocks." Lily backs away, back up the aisle, followed by Babs in her funereal black outfit, still nagging, "And you shouldn't wear a nightgown to your own wedding. It's very bad luck." Lily makes a panicked call over her shoulder for Rick. And then wakes with a start to him in bed. Lily recounts the horror of her dream wedding, saying that no one came. "Just the kids," she sighs. "And my mother. And Will Gluck was there." Rick makes a groggy quip or two, and Lily throws back the covers, muttering that she needs a drink of water.
As she turns from the bathroom sink, Lily stops, stunned. "Daddy," she whispers. The camera pans across to reveal Phil, smiling and nodding that it's him. Lily asks why he's there and then quickly adds, "Is it because of the Hebrew? Because I tried to explain to him that it's part of my heritage, and that there wasn't any spoken at my first wedding, and how much I'd regretted that. But he just sort of got this look on his face, so I dropped it." Phil nods distractedly and glances around the bathroom, inspecting it. Lily begs him to reassure her that she's not making a mistake. Holding back tears, she confesses, "Sometimes, when I look at him, I think, 'What am I doing?'" Apparently, one of the benefits of being dead is being able to tune out the living with no apologies. Phil examines a tube of toothpaste, and asks her about its cleaning powers. Lily admits she just likes the taste. He shares his otherworldly wisdom: "You have to take care of your teeth. It's one of the few things they tell you that's true." He solemnly hands Lily the tube. She looks at him for a few seconds, brimming, and says she's missed him so much. She asks about the dream she just had, if there's something she needs to know. "Ask Jake" is Phil's cryptic response. She repeats it, confused. "Lil?" Rick says sleepily from the doorway, scratching his head. She glances from him to Ghost Dad, who adds, "Ask Jake what has been lost." Oooh. Thanks, man, That clears up everything. Why can't the dead ever just shoot straight is what I want to know. Rick asks Lily if she's okay. She snaps to attention, and looks at the spot where her father just was. He's gone, but she's still holding the toothpaste in her hand. Cue the organ and Vincent Price.
At breakfast that morning, Jake appears. Looks like Jake's been doing some reading over here at MBTV, because he actually knocks before entering this time, and makes a point of drawing attention to that fact. Lily congratulates him. He hasn't evolved entirely, however, as he stands at the counter rifling through the mail he's just carried in from outside. Lily pointedly lifts an envelope out of his hands and puts it on the counter. He continues to sift through the rest, oh so casually bringing up the fact that Tiffany is going to be at the wedding. Lily and Zoe remind him that Tiffany works for the caterer. He tries to play it off like he was kidding: "You think I really care that Tiffany's going to the wedding, and I'm not?" Why no, Jake -- why on Earth would anyone think that? Zoe can't find her hand mirror, and asks Lily where it is. Lily finishes loading the dishwasher, saying that she has no idea. She notices Rick gathering his jacket and says she thought he was going in to work later, so they could finalize the seating arrangements. Rick pecks her cheek and says he has to meet with his accountant, promising they'll do the seating later that night. Lily turns to face the kitchen, where Jake is preparing to head out the back door with the kids, and finds her father there, urging her on with a look. Lily calls out to stop Jake, and glances at her father a couple of times while Jake impatiently asks "what?" over and over again. Lily finally blurts, "What about the check?" She reminds Jake that he was supposed to write her the mortgage check over a week ago. "Okay, here's the thing," Jake says. "My accountant's told me not to write any more checks." Man, if only I'd known it was that easy: "Sorry VISA, my accountant's advised me not to write any more checks." Lily gapes at him for a second before saying, "Jake, the wedding is Sunday. Do you have any idea how many checks --" Jake cuts her off with a promise to speak to his accountant again. She looks at him like he's fucking right he's going to speak to his accountant again. He gestures toward the kids outside, and says, "Do you want them to be late for school?" before ducking out the door.
Cut to Karen's minivan pulling up at the high school. Inside, she's trying to convince Jessie to "have something prepared" for the wedding. Jessie rolls her eyes and says, "I just wish you'd stop pretending you're so pro on this wedding when...you're so obviously not." Karen manages to seem shocked and offended. In the back seat, Eli's just bored. This has nothing to do with Wannabe, after all. Karen defends herself, insisting that she's not "pro or con anything" -- she's "merely suggesting" that Jessie and Eli might want to have something prepared, like a toast. She neglects to add, "To Lily's slow and early death due to the sudden sprouting of a second head." She then suggests that maybe Jessie could sing. Jessie rolls her eyes at the thought, and Karen chides, "You used you love to sing!" Karen prods that she thinks it would mean a lot to Rick, and tries to remember the name of the song Jessie always used to sing in the car on the way up to the cabin. Jessie realizes that her only hope is to flee, and she does so promptly. Alone with Eli, the ass-pole gives Karen a nudge, and she launches into an "I hope you don't share your sister's belief" spiel. Eli just puts his hand over his eyes, as if this is all too much for him, and blurts, "Red Red Robin." Karen's confused. He clarifies: it's the song they used to sing in the car. He then bolts, leaving Karen staring wistfully out the windshield, saying, "'Red Red Robin.' Right."
Cut to Jake's Audi pulling up along the curb. He's telling Zoe that just because Lily's getting married again, it doesn't mean things are going to change. Zoe shoots him a condescending look and tells him that's not why she's upset. He asks what she's upset about, then, and suggests that maybe he can help. "You can't," she says decisively, and stares straight ahead. He prods, and she relents, admitting that she's upset because she can't find the hand mirror Judy gave her for Chanukah: "The only way you can tell if your hair looks okay from the back is with a hand mirror, and I don't like going out in public if I haven't checked if my hair looks all right from the back." Jake stares uncomprehendingly at her and then admits he can't help. Her look lets him know that she's really glad he wasted her time, then. Glancing in the rearview mirror, Jake spots Grace reading a piece of fuchsia stationery, and asks who the letter is from. "Carla," Zoe pipes up. "How do you know?" Grace asks. "Because the return address says jail," Zoe retorts. Heh. Grace shoots a disdainful, "Shut up!" and returns to her letter.
Soliloquy Grace reads it to us: "'Still trying to get to Europe this summer. I wish you'd come with me. I mean, believe it or not, I really miss you. I don't miss Eli, like, at all.'" Soliloquy Grace glances up for our reaction, knowing that was harsh. Really, Grace, it's okay to hate Wannabe. Try it; you'll like it.
Cut to Grace at school, outside, where she spots Eli brooding under a tree. Grace walks over and asks what he's doing. He scratches in the dirt with a stick and mutters, "Watching ants." Because that's what tortured souls do. Grace watches him for a second, feeling his pain, and says, "She's fine. She's living with her brother." Then, grinning, she adds, "She wrote me a letter! Like a letter letter!" Eli jumps away from the ants and practically dances around, asking to see it. Insert sound of needle scratching record. Eli sees Grace's face fall and asks, suspiciously, "Why? What'd she say about me?" See? Deep down, even Eli knows Wannabe's a jerk. Grace tries to play it off legit, saying that she can't show it to Eli because she doesn't think Wannabe would want her to. "She didn't mention me?" Eli asks. Grace lies and says she did -- she said she misses him. "Wow!" Eli grins, as if Wannabe crafted a sonnet in his honor. He says he feels like celebrating; on her look, he asks Grace what's wrong, and she shudders, "Nothing. I'm just cold." He scrambles to peel off his hoodie and offers it to her. Through some incredible test of will, Grace refrains from sniffing it. But you know she's going to wear it as long as she can, and hope that Eli forgets to ask for it back so she can wear it to bed and rub the cuff against her cheek and pretend that it's actually Eli and, oh, just go listen to "The Sweater" because Meryn Cadell says it so much better than I ever could.
Rick, meanwhile, is feeling the crunch as he and his accountant, Arnold, go over the numbers again. Arnold breaks the news: Rick's down to about $30,000. Judging by Rick's face, Arnold may also have kicked him in the groin, but I couldn't see it under the table. Arnold tosses out the fairly unattractive option of borrowing from Rick's pension fund, but makes it clear that doing so is fraught with peril and high interest payments. He then suggests that Rick needs to reevaluate things: "This wedding, for instance." Rick's hackles rise, and he points out that he and Lily are splitting the cost of the wedding. "Did you ever hear of City Hall?" Arnold asks, only half joking. ["Word." -- Wing Chun] Rick immediately shames him for suggesting such a thing, letting Arnold know that Lily stuck by him through the whole Atlantor ordeal as if it were an everyday event, and that "she deserves better than City Hall." Arnold says, "Sorry, forget I said anything," and sips his coffee. Rick stares at him as if something's dawning, and asks whether he speaks Hebrew. Arnold is slightly taken aback, and says that he doesn't, really. Rick asks whether his wedding vows were in Hebrew. "My entire marriage has been in Hebrew," Arnold deadpans. Then he gently adds, "No one is saying don't get married. Maybe just a little less wedding." Rick knows he's right, but hates to admit it.
Later that night, in bed with Lily, he pauses from reading his book and says, "Maybe we shouldn't have hot hors d'oeuvres." Lily stops writing in her book and says, "What?" Rick tries to explain that he thinks people will just fill up on them and then not be hungry for dinner. Lily's nonplused. He hesitantly asks, "Is it too late to cancel?" Lily strains to keep her voice mild, and tells him that it's not too late to cancel anything. He asks what she's reading. She holds up her book, Weddings for Complicated Families. Lily asks what he's reading. "Wood Chipper Murders," Rick answers nonchalantly, and then murmurs, "Guy killed his wife, stuffed her in the wood chipper." Lily glances over at him, slightly alarmed by his choice in bedtime reading materials. She mutters, "Must've ordered hot hors d'oeuvres." Engrossed, Rick doesn't hear her, but she won't repeat herself because you never know when that mild-mannered guy you're in bed with is going to pull out the chipper. She sighs and says that, according to her book, they're behind on everything for the wedding.
Soliloquy Lily reads from the tome, which I find utterly ridiculous. The book, not her reading. If I ever buy a book like that, somebody do me a favor and beat me black and blue with it before returning it for a full refund. Thanks. Anyway, Lily reads, "One week before wedding, double-check with photographer. Have alterations completed on dress. Win over future stepchildren." She lowers the book and confesses that she just made up the last one.
In bed, Lily jumps and looks sideways at the chair to her bed. Phil's sitting there, and he reminds her, "You have to ask him." Lily sort of rolls her eyes and then leans over in Phil's direction to whisper, "Daddy, he's obviously not comfortable with Hebrew in the ceremony. He just doesn't understand." Phil is stern: "Not Rick. You have to ask Jake." Lily looks up and mumbles, "Oh, that reminds me." Rick hears her "muttering," but amazingly, he can't make out what she's saying even though she's like six inches away from him. He asks what she's muttering about. She asks, "Could you possibly write me a check for this month's mortgage?" Rick feels the vise around his privates tighten a little more, and his face is pinched as he says he will. She asks if he's sure. He won't take his eyes off the page in front of him, trying hard to swallow the scream that's starting to build somewhere around his ankles. "Thanks," she says simply, and turns her attention back to her book. to her, Rick claps a hand to his forehead, seeing if he's still, in fact, generating a body temperature. Lily says she thinks he's absolutely right about the hot hors d'oeuvres, and he distractedly answers her. She asks if he's okay, and he runs his hand through his hair, saying, "I'm fine. I'm just feeling sort of --"
"Panicked? Pressured? Poor?" Soliloquy Rick supplies. Punchy! Gotta love the alliteration.
"Exhausted," is what he tells Lily. Chickenshit. He clicks off his bedside light as she says, "Me too." She clicks off her lamp, and they kiss goodnight, each of them rolling over and facing in different directions. Nothing like a wedding to bring people together, is there?
After commercials, Lily's entering the restaurant, where Jake's busily stacking really big match boxes into a tower. "See, your fiancé isn't the only one who can build a house," he says when he sees Lily. She ignores the comment and says that Tiffany told her Jake had some extra cocktail napkins. While Jake's scrounging behind the bar, Lily brings up the subject of the check with a cynical sigh. Jake says he thought he explained about that the other day. Lily looks up from the bar and finds her father there, behind Jake. "Ask him," Phil orders. "Jake," Lily starts, faltering. "Ask him what has been --" Phil prods. "What has been lost?" Lily asks impatiently, like she's trying to shut Phil up. Jake stands transfixed for a few moments before asking, "How'd you know?" Lily repeats the question, dreading the answer. Jake takes a breath and leans heavily on the bar, defeatedly saying, "All of it. It's all gone Lil -- the bank is threatening to foreclose...It's over." He swipes at the matchbook house, sending the pieces flying. "What does that mean?" Lily asks. "It's gone!" Jake thunders. "Okay? All of it. They're taking all of it." He covers his face with his hands, rubbing it wearily, and says, "I didn't mean for you to find out like this." He rests his head against the bar and says, "I should be grateful, I guess -- you know, that your father's not here to witness all of this." Oh, the irony! Lily glances over her shoulder toward Phil, as the sound of magic fairy dust tinkles in the soundtrack.
Meanwhile, over at Manning Manor, Judy interrupts Tiffany in the process of rummaging through Lily's pans. Tiffany hurries to explain that she was just "sort of going through [Lily's] kitchen." She adds that Lily's out back with "some guy" who Tiffany thinks is named Will. "Will Gluck?" Judy asks, trying to keep her tone casual. She hangs the girls' dresses, which she's returning, on a cupboard door, and gazes out into the back yard. Tiffany continues rummaging through the kitchen, asking, "Isn't he the guy who did that fountain thing for you? He seems like a super-nice guy. Super!" Hey, back off, Preggo -- Judy's all over him, okay? Tiffany does look great, though, in her little Chinese blouse. Who knew they made maternity wear that nice? It doesn't even have teddies or flowers on it. Tiffany keeps blathering on, confessing that she used to be "the worst judge of character," and that if "someone smiled at [her], she'd practically give him all [her] money and [laughs self-consciously] move in with him," but she thinks Will is genuinely the poo. Get in line, sister. At this point, I think it ends somewhere around Delaware. She adds that he's also "kinda cute," and giggles. Oh, she's got Judy tweaked now. Judy brings over a grocery bag and starts unpacking it, saying, "He's not the kind of person you get to know to easily." So back off, bitch. Tiffany agrees, saying, "Oh, definitely. That's why I was surprised when he practically told me his whole life story!" She wanders over to admire the dresses, leaving Judy to sharpen her claws surreptitiously. "He did?" Judy asks. Tiffany says, "Yeah, did you know he lived out of his car for a year, and that he's actually an ordained minister?" No, Judy didn't. She's trying hard not to act bothered, and failing miserably. Tiffany continues, "Yeah, it's something he does on the side, for extra money." She emphatically clutches her chest and says, "Oh! And when he told me about his daughter? He was practically in tears. We were standing here waiting for Lily to get off the phone --" "He has a daughter?" Judy interrupts, incredulous. Tiffany answers, "Yeah. Apparently he got some girl pregnant when they were both sixteen, and they wanted to keep the baby, but her parents made them put it up for adoption, so he never got to meet her, and then a few years ago he just started searching?" Judy gapes at her, and then asks, "He told you all this while Lily was on the phone?" Tiffany prattles that it just sort of spilled out of him, and that she's noticed that people just sort of open up to her since she's been pregnant. She beams. She deserves better than Jake, is all I can say.
Will opens up the back door behind Tiffany and pokes his head in. He mutters a tense, "Hey" to Judy as he heads for the fridge. She jumps, as if jolted, and gives him an emphatic "hey" in return. Tiffany keeps on talking in the background, telling Judy that she has to get going, and that she'll "see [her] on the big day." Judy has no idea what she's talking about. Tiffany looks at her like she could be losing it (and enjoys it, I'm sure, because how often is Tiffany on the giving end of that look?), and Judy clicks that Tiffany means the wedding. Right, right. She practically waves Tiffany away. Tiffany stops to tell Will that it was really nice to meet him. He awkwardly glances toward Judy and says the same. Judy, looking rattled, explains to Will that she just came by to drop off the dresses. He doesn't care. She stares at him as he wipes his big manly arm across his forehead. Her knees almost dissolve. "Tiffany told me just now about..." she says softly. He looks at her quickly, alarmed. She catches it, and changes her tack, saying, "...the parachute. So you're going to do that instead of the tent?" Will's relief is palpable. Judy says she thinks it's a brilliant idea. Again, Will could give a crap. He says a terse "thanks" and looks to make his escape out the back door as Lily comes flying in. Judy watches him go like a cartoon dog watching a dancing turkey leg. Lily breaks her reverie by asking her to call a list of people who haven't bothered to RSVP yet. Lily rants about the state of the world when people can't even be bothered to drop a stamped, addressed card into a mailbox. Judy tries to get her to chill, telling her to think of it as just a big party. "With vows," Lily snarls, "a party with vows. Where you promise to be faithful to someone you barely even know." Lily's feet are encased in ice blocks, apparently. She confesses that she "can't even afford all this," and wonders what she was thinking. She blows over to the breakfast nook, and Judy turns to watch her, concerned. "Jake might lose the restaurant," Lily says flatly. She sits heavily and grabs a sheaf of paperwork on the table. Judy joins her at the table, saying, "I haven't bought your wedding present yet. I have about $3000. You wouldn't have to pay me back." After a beat, she adds, "They're American dollars." Heh. It's good that she clarified. Three thousand Canadian dollars wouldn't be much help to anyone, since they'd convert to roughly $1.65. Lily looks touched at the gesture but says, "Judy, I love you, but I couldn't take your money." Judy sighs with relief, "Oh, thank god!" Then the real reason for Lily's stoicism emerges: "It wouldn't make a dent, anyway. I'm so in over my head, here." (Oh, I know that's not why she turned it down. Relax.) Judy suggests, "Call it off." Lily rolls her eyes at the absurdity. Judy presses that for the past few weeks, all Lily has talked about are centerpieces and French champagne and other wedding "necessities," and she implies that it's ridiculous for anyone to think those are the important things in a wedding. Lily explains herself by saying that when Rick first brought out the ring, she didn't answer him. And then he went through the whole Atlantor ordeal. She knows that all the wedding stuff is "just for show," but it's Rick's show, and she's worried that if she suddenly doesn't want it, he'll think she doesn't want him. Wordlessly, Judy stands and steps toward Lily, gently kissing the top of her head. She grabs the girls' dresses and says she'll take them upstairs, glancing at Lily as she goes, as if to make sure she's okay.
Cut to Grace's room, where Eli is sprawled rather comfortably on the bed, stroking his guitar. What did you think I was going to say? Grace is perched at the foot of the bed, staring at him with something close to worship. There's a knock, which sends Grace scrambling off the bed just as Judy pushes open the door. Eli doesn't even look up, but just goes on playing, and Judy realizes that she may have interrupted something. She starts to apologize, but Grace just rushes to pull the dress out of her hands. Eli finally glances up, and Judy gives him a big smile before letting her eyes wander just over his shoulder to the window, where Will Gluck is busily stringing up the parachute. Grace sidles up to Judy, catching her staring, and gives her a pointed "thanks." Judy takes her cue. After Grace closes the door again, she asks, "So, can I hear what you have so far?" Eli "aw shucks"es that it isn't much yet, and adds that he'll "just send it to [Wannabe] when it's done." This mention of the heartless beast jogs Grace, who glances over at her knapsack and sees the fuchsia letter poking out of a pocket. Eli says he has to get going to practice, wryly saying that that should stun them, since they'd all given up on his ever showing up again. Grace says she thought he liked the band. "I used to," he says, pausing in the doorway. "I used to like a lot of things." Grace smiles at him sadly, and he says, "Hey, you're still wearing my sweatshirt." She moves to unzip it, but he tells her not to worry, he'll get it later. He leaves, and she zips it back up, hugging herself and smiling.
At the office, Rick is mindlessly tearing a piece of paper. Cho (Amanda, is it?) wanders over, and I wonder how the hell she managed to show her face at work again after essentially propositioning her boss and getting shot down. She makes some reassuring comments that someone will call the day. Rick's out of hope. Cho mutters that she wouldn't want to design a parking garage anyway. Rick wearily snipes, "Yeah, and designing a parking garage could actually lead to getting paid. Wouldn't want that, now, would we? I'm serving dinner, and liquor, and wedding cake to over a hundred people on Saturday, and I don't even know how I'm going to pay for it." Cho says, "Can I ask a stupid question?" "Do I love her?" Rick asks, and answers, "Yeah, of course I do." Uh, not quite where Cho was going, but thanks for the perspective. She asks, "Um, how soon do you have to fire me?" Rick's head snaps up, pulled momentarily free of his ass. He looks at her for a few seconds, and softly says, "Soon." Cho smiles sadly and says goodnight. Rick goes back to tearing his paper. ["Augh, that one broke my damn heart." -- Wing Chun]
Cut to Rick and Lily in the bedroom, where the only thing seeing any action is the calculator. They're surrounded by a pile of papers, adding up the cost of the wedding. Lily bitterly complains that she can't believe how much everything costs. They reel off a few expenses.
"This is too much. This is too much," Soliloquy Lily frets.
"This is just what things cost," Lily tells Rick. Lily says they could cancel the musicians, and just have Eli set up a sound system. "You want to have a wedding without live music?" Rick asks. Jesus, don't question it, just jump on it! One less thing to pay for, man. Lily says she doesn't want to, and Rick says, "I don't want to not have anything. But $21,000?" Holy crap. Get a DJ. Get a hundred DJs. Who could enjoy dancing to music they paid $21,000 for, knowing they don't know where month's mortgage is coming from? ["I'm pretty sure that's the cost for everything. It's still a lot for a hundred guests. That's $210 a plate." -- Wing Chun]
Soliloquy Rick interjects an incredulous "twenty-one thousand dollars?"
To Lily, Rick says, not all that convincingly, "It's worth it." She looks at him. "Isn't it? Isn't it what you want?" he asks. "Yeah, if it's what you want," she answers. Oh, I hate this pseudo-polite "I only want what you want" crap. How can they not tell each other the truth? I'm no relationship expert, but if the person I was marrying were developing ulcers and nervous tics worrying about how he'd pay for everything, I'd want him to tell me about it. Before declaring bankruptcy. Anyway, they both force a smile and lie that it's what they want, but their intestines are churning through it all. Phil watches them from outside the window. The hell? That's a borderline Peeping Tom, there, Phil. Rick senses someone over his shoulder, and looks toward the window, puzzled, as we fade to commercials.
We return just as Lily's stepping into Booklovers to deliver Judy's wedding shoes. Looking at Judy's face, Lily says, "What? I told you they were purple." "Mom's not coming," Judy says. Lily sags. Judy explains that Babs heard a bunch of storm warnings and got all nervous about flying. Lily's about to go off, but Judy quickly interrupts before she can get going: "It's really that Dad's not here." She says that Babs is worried that people will pity her. "Aaron's still coming to the rehearsal tonight, right?" Lily asks. Judy nods. Lily adds, "I really need him to walk me down the aisle." Judy fogs up, and says, "Sometimes I really miss Dad. I mean, don't you wish you could just talk to him sometimes, so he could know how we are, what we're doing?" Lily looks at her, feeling the irony as Judy walks past her, accompanied by the tinkling sounds of fairy dust. And voilà, there's Phil, eavesdropping again. "I talk to him," Lily confides, and Judy says, "See, I could never do that! I'd feel too stupid." She bends over to fix a display, and Phil leans in and kisses the top of her head. I cry. I can't believe it, but they're actually getting to me with the Ghost Dad stuff. Judy looks over at Lily, marveling at how different they are, and confesses, "I really admire what you're doing." "Throwing a reception I can't afford?" Lily asks dryly. Judy says she admires that Lily is willing to "accept Rick," to see his flaws and mistakes and want him anyway. Judy says that she doesn't do that: she uses faults as a reason to move on. Lily looks thoughtful for a second and then says, "At least you're not afraid to be alone." Judy looks at her, about to throw the bone back in Lily's face, but Lily goes on, "Do you realize I have never done that? I went from Daddy to Jake, and now from Jake right to Rick. I mean, let's be honest here: I've never been without a man!" She tells Judy that she thinks she's "really brave." Judy takes it as a compliment and smiles to herself, conveniently forgetting that all she ever does is complain about being single.
Later, at Manning Manor, Lily, Rick, and the gang are moving furniture around in the living room, as Rick rattles on about this being the only time before Sunday they can "do this." I'm not exactly sure what he's talking about: moving the furniture, or having the rehearsal. He notes that Judy and Babs and Aaron aren't there yet, but he thinks they should get started anyway. Lily informs him that her mother isn't coming, and that Judy and Aaron will probably be late. She bellows upstairs for Grace to come down.
Grace is busy in her room, trying on her bridesmaid's dress and admiring the view in her mirror. She scoots over to the bed to grab her pile of regular clothes, and pulls Eli's hoodie from the pile, smiling to herself as she hugs it.
"What do you mean -- your mom's not coming to the rehearsal, or to the uh --?" Rick asks, as Lily continues flying around the living room. Lily relays the nonsense about storm warnings and then says, "That reminds me, your brother called. He asked me to recommend some lower-priced hotels because your mother couldn't afford the Wyndham." Rick gripes, "Well, of course they can't afford the Wyndham. Why would they stay at the Wyndham?" How much do you think the Chicago Wyndham slid these guys? Eli impatiently interrupts to ask whether they can get on with things. Lily says that she booked Rick's mother at the Wyndham. Rick protests that his mother can't afford it. Lily argues that she assumed they would pay for it. Rick says that he just assumed his mother would stay with them. "There's not enough room, Dad," Eli says. "There's almost no room for us," Zoe adds. Eli asks again if they can "do this." Rick snaps, "Hey! Show a little courtesy why don't you?" Lily reminds him that they're talking about his mother, and she thought he'd want his mother to stay somewhere nice. Then she reaches over and turns the knife in his chest three or four times. Rick, frustrated, asks if they can "just start this thing." He turns and bellows upstairs for Grace. "Why are you yelling at her? She didn't do anything," Eli protests. He offers to go get Grace. "Can I speak to you?" Lily quietly asks Rick, her voice strained with the effort of keeping it light.
Eli pops open the door to Grace's room, but he doesn't find her in there. He does, however, spot the letter from Wannabe enticingly spread on the dresser.
In the kitchen, Rick and Lily are having their "discussion." They yatter back and forth and over one another, Rick complaining that Lily's just been assuming everything, and Lily trying to defend herself by saying she just did what she thought he wanted. They're quiet for a minute, until Rick softly admits that it's not what he wants. He walks over to the fridge while Lily appears to deflate against the door frame. Rick opens the freezer and asks, "Why is there a hand mirror in the freezer?" Lily takes it, explaining that it's Zoe's. Rick turns his attention back to the freezer and pulls out a bottle of something clear. Apparently the moment calls for something a little stronger than his typical brewskie. "I thought you wanted a big wedding," he says. Lily says she thought he did. And then they get drunk and laugh about what a couple of asses they've been. Oh, wait -- only Rick gets drunk. He pours himself a healthy belt of vodka as Lily asks, "You know what's been lost in all of this? The reason." Phil steps in and grabs the mirror off the counter, as Rick agrees with Lily. She says she thought he needed it. He says that even if he did, he can't afford it. She admits that she can't either. The day before the wedding. They go back and forth a little more, going over their reasons for going overboard, until Rick wonders, "What are we doing? Why are we doing this?" Lily shakes her head and shrugs. "Your mom is not even coming," Rick says. "My brother's coming, and I don't even want to see him. We can't even rehearse this thing without some kind of fight breaking out. It's like we're --" "Idiots," Lily supplies. "Idiots! Exactly," Rick says. He looks at her sadly, but Lily can't lift her eyes to his. She mists up, laughing ruefully, and says, "I mean, if we can't even get though this!" She looks expectantly at Rick, waiting for him to reassure her. He just looks back. Neither of them says anything. He gulps vodka. In the background, Phil wafts up to the top of the cupboards and hides Zoe's mirror up there as the fairy dust tinkles in the background. He turns to look at the two lost souls in the doorway.
Grace blows into her room, still wearing the bridesmaid's dress, and finds Eli on her floor, clutching the letter. He looks up, dejected. Grace slowly closes the door and apologizes. "You didn't do anything," Eli says. "Yeah I did," she argues. Eli starts crying and says, "It's so weird that she doesn't miss me." Well, it might be, if the girl actually possessed a heart. Grace doesn't say anything, but that's okay because Eli's got more wallowing to do. "I'm never going to stop missing her," he slobbers. Yeah, well, you're the only one, man. Grace looks down at him and says, "I know." He says she's the only person who gets it and who doesn't keep telling him that it's not true. He looks at her adoringly. Whoa, ease up on the transference beam, captain. They look into each other's eyes and Eli quietly says, "That's a pretty dress." They keep staring at each other and slowly move toward one another. Their faces are nearly connected when there's a knock on the door. Jessie pushes it open. "What?" Grace and Eli snap in unison. Jessie's no fool and looks utterly freaked over what she just interrupted. "They called off the wedding," she manages to say. She looks from one to the other, backing slowly out of the room. I wouldn't turn my back on them, either.
After the break, we find Karen in her office, in conference with someone. They're interrupted by the phone. It's Jessie, asking Karen to come and pick up her and Eli. "I thought tonight was the rehearsal," Karen says. "They called it off," Jessie answers flatly. The camera rushes in on Karen's surprised face. Jessie repeats, "They just called off the wedding. Can you come get us?" Karen asks whether Rick and Lily got into a fight or something. Jessie says not exactly. "Well, is your father all right?" Karen says. She's trying to be cool, but she's way too excited about it. "He's watching the History Channel," Jessie says. "Oh, dear," Karen replies. She agrees to some and get the kids as soon as she can.
Lily frantically rushes into the kitchen, snagging the phone from Jessie and saying that she has to make a few dozen calls. She plunks down at the table, sighing.
"Wow," Karen breathes, staring straight ahead. "Good news?" her companion asks. We cut away before we get to hear Karen lie.
Winston Churchill's on some tiny television, making the announcement that the Germans have unconditionally surrendered. The war is over. See what they did there? Yeah, anyway, Judy's on the phone in the background (I thought Lily was on the phone?) as Rick stares unseeing at the tellie. He's hugging a pillow and a glass of vodka. After she hangs up, Judy stands between Rick and Churchill, asking if he's okay, and would he like to talk, or "would [he] and Winston like to be alone?" Rick answers by trying to see around her hip. "Got it," she mutters, and leaves him to it. He blinks blearily, raises his glass in a half-toast, and takes a healthy swig.
Cut to Tiffany bursting into the restaurant. "Hey!" Jake says, sounding happy to see her. She answers by tucking in her chin and biting back tears. He asks what's the matter, immediately concerned that it's something with the baby. Tiffany blows her nose loudly and says, "I just got...a call from Lily. They called off the wedding!" "You're kidding!" Jake says. He doesn't exactly keep the glee out of his voice. "I knew they'd chicken out," he adds. Tiffany looks incredulous at his insensitivity, and informs him that they didn't chicken out; it's that the whole reception got out of hand. Jake's still not buying it. He says that's just what they're telling people: "If you want to get married, you get married." She tells him to stop it and adds, "The fact that they were brave enough to attempt marriage was...giving me hope." She smiles sheepishly. Jake's mood is suddenly sober, as he eyes her, and then looks away. "Well, you can still have hope," he says. Tiffany almost lets herself smile, asking, "I can?" Jake tears a page out of the accounts book in front of him and tosses it over the bar, grumbling, "Yeah, doesn't cost anything." Crushed, Tiffany's face falls. I can't tell if she's more disgusted with Jake's cold remark or with herself for walking into it. Poor Tiffany could use a good Gluck. Then again, who couldn't?
Cut to the parachute tent in Lily's backyard, where Rick's standing in the entrance, leaning sadly against a pole. Lily walks out and joins him with a soft "hey." Rick says that the parachutes were a good idea. Lily forces an exuberant "yeah! Well, we don't have to take them down right away." She strolls inside, looking around. It is really cool. Will Gluck managed to twist and hang the chutes so they look like a swirling, subdued circus tent. Lily says she called the caterer, and they're out their deposit. I'd imagine they'd be out a whole lot more than that, considering it's less than twenty-four hours to the reception. And can you imagine how horrible that phone call would be? And now that I think about it, all of that seems to have fallen to Lily and Judy, while Rick made nice-nice with his Russian friend and watched a fifty-year-old news clip. Anyway, Rick says they knew they'd be out the deposit. Lily says, "It's weird calling so many people at once -- it's like when someone dies." Rick strolls around in the tent and then spins around, hands on his hips, to declare, "This is like that quote -- that Winston Churchill quote!" Lily looks at him like he's mental, and snides, "That's exactly what I was thinking." Rick explains, "Churchill said, 'Democracy is the worst form of government, except all those other forms.'" He looks at Lily intensely; her smile is widening by the nanosecond. "What?" he asks. She shakes her head a little and answers, "The fact that you can stand here, under a parachute, and quote Winston Churchill when we're deciding whether or not to get married...makes me want to marry you." Uh huh. Well, I've never heard a better reason. "Is that what we're doing? We're just standing here deciding whether to get married or not?" Rick asks. Maybe he should have another shot of vodka and really get a grip on the situation. Lily points out that they're "not just whistling Dixie." Rick looks at her with realization dawning in his eyes, and says that he just realized that how Churchill felt about democracy is how he feels about marriage. Aw, isn't he sweet. "Marriage is the worst system there is, except for all the others." Doesn't that make you all weak-kneed? Then again, maybe it sounds better when you've downed half a bottle of the hard stuff. I'll get back to you on that. They move closer together as Rick asks if Lily knows what he means. "I do," she answers. Oh brother. "I do, too," he echoes. They kiss. "Do you suppose it's too late to get that rabbi over here?" Rick asks. Lily smiles, "On a Friday night I think the rabbi might have plans." She starts to say that you can't just call a member of the clergy and expect them to...and then jumps, remembering with a flash that Will Gluck oh so conveniently just happens to be an ordained minister. Oh, see, Rick wasn't expecting that.
Cut to Karen, heading out of her darkened office to pick up Jessie and Eli. The phone stops her on her way out. It's Jessie, telling her not to bother coming. As Jessie tries to get out the reason for her call, she's interrupted by Judy bursting through the front door with a bouquet of daisies and an armload of stuff. Judy's decked out in her bridesmaid's dress. "Mom, they're going to do it tonight!" Jessie beams. "What?" Karen asks. The ass-pole does an angry dance of disappointment. "Yeah, they're, like, getting married any minute, so don't come over, all right?" Jessie says giddily. She has no idea that her mother's heart is breaking on the other end of the line. Karen starts to stammer something, but Eli dashes past Jessie, nagging her to get ready. She cuts Karen off with a brisk, "Gotta go, Mom. I love you!" Karen slowly replaces the receiver, practically paralyzed. In its frenzied dance, the ass-pole neatly punctures her heart. She leans against the window, tears silently streaming down her face, as the man she loves goes off and marries someone else.
Over at Manning Manor, Zoe's outfitted in her little purple gown and is busily rifling through a junk drawer in the kitchen. She's frowning hard. Rick comes in and asks if she's all set. "No, I am not," she pouts. She stomps over to the table and plops in a seat, asking him please not to tell her that nothing is going to change now that he and Lily are getting married. She says she's not upset about that; she's upset because she can't find her mirror, and she really needs it. Rick looks at her tenderly, and takes a breath as if to say something, but he stops when he hears a whoosh and the tinkling of wind chimes. He cocks his head and turns, moving as if he's not sure why, toward the cupboards. He reaches up to the exact spot where Phil earlier placed the mirror, and pulls it down. Zoe watches, amazed. "This little mirror?" Rick asks, turning it over in his hands and then handing it to her. She asks how he knew where it was. He says he doesn't know. "I guess it's a good thing that you're tall," Zoe says. Rick crouches down in front of her and says, "Zoe, I would never tell you that nothing's going to change [another nice contrast to Jake, by the way] because everything is going to change." "I know," Zoe says, her face crumpling a little. Rick looks at her with red eyes, and she throws herself into his arms. He stands up, still holding her, and Zoe's eyes almost pop out of her head. "Come on, let's go get married," he says. She points out that he's still in his jeans and flannel. "Oh, you're right!" he says, putting her down. He holds her face and says, "And I have to call my accountant." He leaves, and Zoe follows a few seconds later, slowing near the cupboards and wondering how the hell her mirror got all the way up there.
Lily, meanwhile, is checking on Grace. She finds her curled up on her bed, crying. Lily moves to the bed, and rubs Grace's leg, saying, "Oh, sweetie, I know this isn't easy for you." Grace rolls over to look Lily in the eye, scornfully asking, "You think that's why I'm crying? Because you're getting married?" Lily says that it would be completely understandable. Grace sits up and says that's not why she's crying. She looks away from Lily for a second and says, "I'm all alone. Do you even realize that? Do you even know what that feels like?" Lily looks down at her lap for a second, and then does a really cool thing: she tells the truth. "No, honey, I don't." Grace looks up at her uncertainly, because this wasn't the answer she was expecting. Lily explains, "I've always been too afraid to find out what that feels like. I'm so glad that you're not!" Her eyes well up. Grace is moved by Lily's honesty and manages to smile through her tears. I'm expecting them to hug, but Grace rolls over to the other side of the bed and stands up. She walks to her mirror to brush her hair, and says, "So, Grammy's not coming?" Saddened, Lily says that's right. Grace says that Aaron's still coming, though, right? Lily says that he's not feeling well enough for it. Grace pauses brushing and asks who's going to walk Lily down the aisle, then. Lily fights to hold back the tears, and glances over to the door, where Phil has appeared once again, accompanied by fairy tinkles. "Daddy," Lily whispers. Grace somehow doesn't hear her. Lily rushes over to the door, but Phil's already walking away as Grace muses that Lily could just walk in by herself. Surprisingly, Grace doesn't feel this way because the whole notion of being "given away" is insulting, but because "it isn't a real aisle, anyway." Lily promises she'll be right back, and races after Phil.
"Daddy, wait! I need you to walk me down the aisle!" she exclaims, stopping him on the stairs. He says he can't, he's "on vacation," and Lily laughs through her tears. "Anyway, you know who wants to do it, don't you?" From Lily's puzzled expression, it's pretty clear that she doesn't. Phil nods his head toward the top of the stairs., and something dawns on Lily. "Oh, of course," she sighs and thanks him. You can tell Phil's getting ready to hit it. Lily knows it too. "I'll see you, Little Bit," he says. "See you, Daddy." He finishes descending the stairs, and watches, satisfied, as Lily races to the top.
The front door flies open, and Babs come in, weighed down with luggage. She calls a hello but gets no response. "Where is everybody?" she asks, as the fairy music tinkles yet again, and Phil smiles at her. She doesn't sense him there, though, and just breezes on through him. Rick appears at the top of the stairs in his tux, excitedly saying, "You came!" Babs says of course she did, she was just a little nervous about the weather. "Oh, she is going to be so happy," Rick says, kissing her cheek. Phil turns away, looking sad. Zoe comes in, carrying a fax for Rick. She throws herself into Babs's arms. "They're getting married!" she chirps. "I know that, sweetie," Babs says. "No, no, I mean right now!" Zoe says. Rick nods that it's true. "Well, I'd better get changed, then!" Babs cries, and Rick leads her away, so that she can surprise Lily.
Soliloquy Lily appears, decked out in her dress and reading from that damn book. "'On the day of your wedding, take a long, relaxing bath.' Oh, well."
We flash over scenes of the preparations as Lily continues reading, "'Fix hair, and make sure nails are done.'" Babs readies the bouquets. "'Distribute personal flowers.'" Judy puts on Rick's boutonniere, and he gives her a kiss on the cheek while Zoe pins a daisy behind Jessie's ear. "'Check that your rings are somewhere safe.'" Eli slips the band onto his own ring finger, and catches Rick watching him. Embarrassed, he puts on a serious face and strides away. "'Be sure to eat something. Many hungry brides have been known to pass out.'" Rick and Judy adjust the champagne on the table. Eli picks up his guitar, and Judy examines herself in Zoe's little hand mirror. In it, she catches a glimpse of Will Gluck walking in with a tray of glasses. She turns and looks over her shoulder at him, and he hands off the tray to Babs. "'Remember to greet each guest personally.'" Judy's more than happy to greet Will personally, if you know what I'm saying. She pins on his boutonniere, adjusts his tie, and smiles at him warmly. Rick, watching from a distance, smiles to himself.
We cut back to Soliloquy Lily just so we can see her sarcastic expression as she reads, "'Have the music start at least thirty minutes before the ceremony.'" Zoe pokes her head through a flap in the tent and hisses, "Eli! Try it." Everyone gathers, and Eli picks up his guitar. He pucks the strains of "The Wedding March," and Zoe enters the tent, scattering flowers from her little basket. Jessie is hot on her heels. And I'm pretty sure the dress Jessie's wearing isn't the one Judy was fitting a little while ago. Soliloquy Lily reads, "'Immediately before the ceremony, the bride's mother is seated.'" Soliloquy Lily dabs a tear from her eye. Grace and Lily throw back the flap and enter the tent. Rick catches his breath. Babs gasps at the sight of her, and Lily looks over, stunned to see her. She forgets the whole procession-down- the-aisle thing and rushes over to hug her mother -- who, oddly, is the one wearing white. ["This is where I lost it, by the way. And didn't regain it until the episode was over." -- Wing Chun] Lily is decked out in a dark blue sequined number that would be more at home on a cruise ship, but then what the hell do I know? After they hug and cry for a bit, Babs rushes back to her seat. Lily takes a deep breath, and she and Grace finish their march up the aisle. Rick unfolds a sheet of paper and hands it to Will Gluck. We see that it has English phrases followed by Hebrew ones. Will reads, "Set me," and Rick echoes in Hebrew, "See MAY nee." Lily mists over at the sound of the Hebrew, and dammit, so do I. Will: "As a seal." Rick: "Chah cho TAHM." Will glances over at Judy, and really smiles at her for the first time in a while. She's pleasantly surprised. Will remembers he's the one feeding Rick his lines, and that he's holding things up by staring at Judy, so he turns his attention back to the ceremony. "Upon your heart," he reads, and Rick echoes. "As a seal upon your arm." Grace and Jessie wipe away tears. Jessie leans over to ask Zoe what Rick is saying. Oddly, Zoe says, "Nobody knows. But it's Hebrew." Except that we do know, because Will is reading the English translation of the Hebrew. But whatever. Will keeps feeding Rick his vows: "Deep waters cannot extinguish love, nor floods sweep it away." Lily beams up at Rick through her tears.
Soliloquy Lily reads more stupid advice from the book: "'Stay calm and remember [she pauses and smiles widely] to enjoy yourself."
We cut back to the tent as Will pronounces them husband and wife. Each of them exhales loudly, laughs, and then they kiss each other passionately. Everyone applauds and starts throwing around the hugs as the chick from the opening credits wails away in the background. It's all free and easy until it's Grace and Eli's turn to hug. They approach each other awkwardly, but then seem to overcome it, hugging and smiling. Rick pops the cork on the champagne as Jessie starts an impromptu version of "Red, Red Robin." Okay, not only can Evan Rachel Wood act, she can sing like a maniac, too. Rick stares at her, stunned and touched. As Jessie's song continues playing in the background, we flash ahead to Rick hugging her when she's done, tears streaming down her face. Everyone's applauding and then the celebration starts. People clink glasses, Zoe sneaks a sip of Judy's champagne, and everyone dances. Then it's group picture time, as Will snaps a few shots of the new family. With any luck, one of them will find its way to year's credits, no? We break to another montage of fun, with more shots of dancing. Rick tosses Judy's bouquet over toward Will Gluck and hits him with it. Rick laughs as Will picks it up with a smile, staring at Judy. Judy watches, looking intrigued. Lily cheers the catch and then hugs an embarrassed Judy. The camera slowly pans back as the gang continues the revelry, and our last shot is of Phil smiling through his tears at the scene inside the tent.
As Wing Chun pointed out, you can't help feeling that's it's all a little bittersweet, as if they know they're enjoying their last big hurrah together. But they can't be, right? The show will go on. It has to. And we'll all meet here again in the fall to laugh with them and pick on them and just get down with their bad, bad selves, right? Okay, so it's a date, then.